Baby Love...and looottts of it

Happy Diwali Everyone!

2011-10-24T22:05:00.003+05:30

I have had many a lazy weekends up until I discovered the event Patty runs on her blog every week. Its called Patty's weekly story and it just inspires me to do something creative each weekend. I mean I do most of these things anyway but now I remember to take pictures and post them here so that I can share with you guys and get more inspiration :-)

So here's what I have been upto this past weekend. Surprisingly it was quite a busy weekend in the creativity department. It started out with me finishing up a project I had procrastinated for quite a while...a hand embroidered pillow case for lil N's bed.

After this, I spent most of Saturday morning baking a cake for lil N. I have been wanting to re-start baking which I had almost stopped ever since we moved back to India 3 years ago. Reason being I missed the conventional oven that we had in the US and was never sure how the microwave that doubles up as an oven will really work. So I started with a ready cake mix just to see if the baking gets done evenly and I was pleasantly surprised! It was awesome and now I am ready to try my hands at more healthy recipes - inspiration being my friend G and this site here.

On Sunday, I finally wanted to get started on the festivities preparation for Diwali. I took inspiration from Patty's hand made lanterns and got to task. My baby and I worked on making these paper lanterns on Sunday afternoon while dear hubby was cooking up some yummy lunch for us. I plan to hang up some of these with bulbs in them and some I will probably use to decorate the rangoli I am planning on attempting at the entrance to our home. This project was super easy and lots of fun for the kiddo and me. Thanks Patty!

In the evening we wanted to try our hands at cooking up some sweets and snacks for the Diwali season. Now mind you I have never made Diwali snacks at home...have always just assisted my mom in doing these things and even that has been over a decade ago. So each Diwali, we just got store bought goodies until last year when I decided I'd try my hand at just one item - besan laddoos (recipe from here). They turned out yummy which probably got my hubby enthused about doing more at home...just like his and my mom used to do. So we thought why not try a Diwali with homemade delicacies and hopefully set an example for our lil N. That is how we spent Sunday evening making shakkar paare and namak paare. This was the first ever time I made them and they turned out alright. Thank god! Next I plan to make besan laddoos and a few other items such as chivda/bhel, gulab jamun, etc. Ofcourse I cannot make in huge quantities so store stuff will be bought to supplement too. But atleast now I can say I did make some Diwali goodies at home as well :-) BTW I didn't really take pictures of the food since I am no good at food photography (also coz I got worn out doing all the cooking :-))

Other Diwali things on my list - I have been looking online for some very simple rangoli ideas. Want to do something a little more than usual but still very simple. Let's see what I end up with...will post pics if I can :-)

Until then, do let me know all about the new or creative things you are trying out this Diwali. And here's wishing all of you a Very Happy & Safe Diwali Season!

Linking to Patty's Weekly Story and The Key Bunch - A bit of India in Every Home

My first attempt at a frock

2011-10-11T14:30:00.013+05:30

Remember how I mentioned in my last post that I was working on a frock for lil N? Well...I finally finished it yesterday (well almost...pending a few finishing touches). So here it is...

So a little bit more about this frock. The design evolved over time as I kept working on the project. I did not start with any pattern in mind other than the umbrella skirt shape that I had already cut earlier. I wanted to make a low waist frock since I think N looks great in them. So the umbrella cut skirt bottom is made of left over fabric I had from my first ever sewing project - a top for lil N (see pic 1 in my previous post). The top portion is made of a blouse piece that my MIL gave me as part of the multiple fabrics she gifted me when I visited her last and demonstrated my new found love for sewing!

I wanted to do something different for sleeves this time. So after browsing online, I came across a video on how to make ruffles. Loved it. And tried it. And it came out fine - am mighty pleased with the new skill :-) Take a closer look...

Sewing the bottom to the top half was the most difficult part in this project since this was the first time I was making a frock. I had only made a separate skirt and a top earlier. I searched a lot for a tutorial or a video detailing that aspect but found none. So this frock is literally a result of lots of trials, errors and discoveries from my end. I would love to add a red satin belt at the waist or a black satin ribbon at the bottom of the umbrella skirt. Let's see when I get to doing that :-)

In the meantime, fit wise it turned out to be just the right fit for N. Which actually means that she may outgrow it soon! So I really hope she wears it a few times before I have to retire it.

Linking this to Patty's weekly party here. Lemme know what you think!

Updated to Add: Thanks to one of my friends, I also learnt a new trick to alter the length of pants using the free arm feature of my sewing machine. It is super obvious to the pros but was a duh moment for me :-) So obviously I got "trigger happy" and amidst the frock project, quickly altered (read:chopped off) one of my office trousers to turn them into capris! Now I can wear them more often in a totally different style! Pics later...ta da!

My world of sewing

2011-09-16T18:55:00.019+05:30

So I wrapped up my sewing class in mid August and have been working on some projects at home since then. The class was for learning 2 basic garments - skirt-top and salwar-suit. It helped tremendously to get the basics right and steer me towards the right direction in terms of exploring the rest on my own.

As promised in my previous post, here is a small list of my initial projects (in chronological order) in the sewing world along with some pictures:

1. Top for lil N

2. Patternless free flowing skirt

3. Re-purposed hubby's pants to make shorts for him

4. Altered one of my nighties

5. Basic Salwar suit (kurta and salwar both)

6. Sleeveless kurta with a fancy neck (using paper canvas)

7. Patchwork Purse for lil N (made out of leftover fabric)

8. Another kurta for my sil (similar to what I made in # 6)

9. Completed a half finished night gown for mil

10. Assisted friends in altering the length and slits of their kurtas

Top for lil N

Skirt for myself

Re-purposed hubby's pants as shorts

Here is the kurta...

Here is the salwar...

And here is the entire outfit!

My second kurta (sleeveless and a little more advanced neck pattern)

A better view of the neckline

Me modeling the second kurta with the first salwar :-)

A small purse for lil N

Lately now, I have been working on a new frock for lil N with left over fabric. Linking this to Patty's 'Weekly Story' here! So whaddaya think so far?

A New Hobby

2011-07-12T15:20:00.001+05:30

So I have a new-found hobby lately. Well, its not so new I'd say...it has been on my mind for a long time but just haven't had a chance to get around to doing anything about it. Having a daughter makes you want to learn it even more. Any guesses what I'm talking about? Well...I won't make this any more dramatic. Here goes...

I am talking about...Sewing!!! I mean I always knew how to operate the sewing machine to do a basic straight stitch and stuff since I have grown up seeing my mom sew clothes and such for us kids. But more than machine operation, I wanted to learn how to measure, draft, cut and stitch a piece of cloth to turn it into a pretty frock or a lovely skirt or a ghaghra choli for my little princess. I was always looking for a good tailoring institute or even some one willing to teach basics from their home. But did not find anything until a few months ago when I learnt that there is an institute very close to our home with the entire setup and what not at a very nominal cost. This was like a great find coz what I always got was something far away from home or work which made it impossible to go on a daily basis. This institute taught all the classes I was looking for but the only catch was their timings - they were Monday to Friday from 10am to 1pm. So obviously I couldn't enroll since those coincided with some of my office timings of 11am to 8pm. But then one of my co-workers (we'll call her V) inspired me. She said if I really like doing something, I should find a way to do it. One way could be to enroll in this class and go whenever I can...so don't push yourself to go every day but if you can go to work late once a week or so, you could go to the class in the morning for an hour or two and then to work...even once a week is better than not going at all. She has done the same for her passion to play piano. Taking inspiration from her, I took the plunge in May. I joined and went sporadically once in a while and kept wondering how to continue working at it from home... until finally I made up my mind to invest in a sewing machine myself. So by the end of June I had completed my first project - a top for my lil N. When I saw her joy in wearing it and flaunting it around, it was just priceless. That is when I decided that I was ready to finally own a sewing machine. I mean my mom always had it and so did my mom-in-law. If nothing else, it will be very handy for mending, repairing and re-purposing clothes.

Ofcourse by then I had also done my research on sewing machine makes, models, features, etc. and made up my mind on which one to buy. That is how my friends, on June 29 2011, I finally became a proud owner of the Singer Fashion Maker 8280! Oh man and how I loved it since the day it arrived home. Sewing on this machine versus the pedaling one I was learning on, was such a day and night difference! This was far far easier to handle and work on tricky areas whereas with pedaling I am always scared of turning it the other way and stopping it in a hurry when the area to sew is a tiny one. Even things like threading a bobbin were a breeze on this as compared to the pedaling machines where I haven't yet mastered the technique.

I am dying to upload pictures of the sewing projects I have done so far but just so that I do not forget, I will list them out for now and come back later with pics. So the first one was a cute little top for lil N (a simple black top with white polka dots on it). The second was a pair of shorts I created for dear hubby out of one of his old pants. And then I altered one of my nighties to make it more comfortable to wear. The next was a skirt that I learnt from scratch at the institute. Now I am working on learning how to make a salwar suit. Can't wait to buy a nice fabric and start working on it asap!

This whole sewing-bug-phase made me reflect at how at different phases in life, there have always been one hobby or the other that has drawn my interest. So much so that I do not hesitate to make time to learn on my own but also go out of my way to find and attend classes to learn it well. I think it keeps me inspired and gives me a reason to smile other than the daily routine of work and home. I think I took this from my mom who always encouraged me to learn various things at home whether it was embroidery, fabric painting, knitting, sewing, anything. She even sent me to hobby classes every summer vacation to pick up things such as nib painting, tie and die, etc. I loved it and I so thank my mom for instilling that creativity bug in me.

If I were to list my most recent passions, I would say there was a time when I was single and dating my current hubby when I was sooooo into Scrapbooking. I mean I was so into it that I knew everything about acid free papers, embellishments, albums, journalling styles, etc. and have scrapbooked every single memory of our courtship days. Until the time I got married and busy with our new life together. So I still carry all my scrapbooking supplies, tools and clippings that I so want to put together some day when I have the time. Then came various other passions such as making greeting cards, planning theme based birthday parties, etc. but I realize it was mainly because I had sooo much scrapbooking material that I had to find a way to use it somehow. Somewhere in between I also kept doing hand embroidery and made things such as pillow covers, aprons, etc. Now it is the sewing bug that has hit me and god only knows what will be next.

I may not be excellent in each hobby I take up but I love doing it and it inspires me to do more and more. I keep telling my hubby that my dream is to open and run a hobby store one day (maybe once I retire from a corporate job lifestyle) and pass on this love to sooo many others like me out there who just need an inspirational place to let their creative juices run! Ah...for the love of hobbies...and dreams... :-)

Lessons from Mommyhood

2011-06-23T14:23:00.009+05:30

It took me forever to pen these thoughts down but believe me, once you are a mommy, you never stop marveling at how much you've changed since you've had a baby. Life teaches you something new almost every day and sometimes it is so overwhelming that you almost forget what you were before this tiny creature entered your lives and changed it completely (for the better I'd say). So taking up this tag was not easy since it made me think and write and actually limit the lessons down to a few key bullet points amongst the innumerable ones motherhood teaches you in its journey. But thanks to Manasi who tagged me on this, I'll still make an attempt:

One thing that has stuck with me over the years is something a co-worker told me when I was in my last trimester. I just met him near the elevators (infact I still remember very clearly which part of the building and the exact spot where I was while these words were being shared with me) and he saw how I am almost there and congratulated me once more for expecting. And he said "This is such a life changing event. Infact let me tell you that after the baby you will not even remember how your life was before you had her. " Such simple yet true to the core words! I still think of him when I reflect on our lives at times or see a new mommy-to-be.

Another lesson I have learnt and never forget to impart to mommies-to-be is this. Please enjoy all your sleep before you have a baby. More importantly, enjoy the lifestyle which lets you sleep in to late hours during the mornings. Coz once you become a mommy, you will not have that luxury anymore. I know they say sleep is precious but for me, it is the early morning sleep that is the most precious. Coz I am just NOT a morning person. But once you are a mommy, you have no choice but to be one or atleast force yourself to not just get up early but even function like a clock early in the morning. I mean even weekends, when you think there is no rush in life, the baby decides to be wide awake, chirpy and playful early in the mornings!!! Whew! I get tired just thinking about mornings :-) But its not all bad you see. Mommyhood wants you to be up that early so that you can enjoy the baby a little more before the mad rush of routine starts. Or so that you can enjoy a few minutes by yourself before motherhood calls.

Patience is my new virtue. People who know me since my childhood marvel at the amount of patience I have grown since having lil N. Including my own brother! Especially at the age when your babies turn into toddlers and are discovering life on their own and have millions of questions every single minute. It is sometimes hard not to lose patience and to tell them to go do their own thing. Believe me, most times I make an effort to answer her questions to the best of my ability and in a language she can understand. Coz I strongly believe, if we curb this curiosity, the kids will either lose all interest in discovering and questioning ways of this life or worse still, will go find ways to get their answers from sources we may not like.

I always knew that I worked very well under pressure and that I can be a superwoman, multitasker queen when I need to. So I will not elaborate on that here and infact will just say that mommyhood has honed that skill of mine to perfection. I am sure this applies to most mommies in life :-) What I did learn is that now, as a mommy, I will keep worrying about almost everything. Infact I remember when I was talking about something I was worried about regarding my pregnancy to my boss at the time, she had said "Welcome to motherhood dear - you'll always worry about something or the other for the next 18 years until your child leaves your home...or even after that". Now I know what my mom must have gone through every time I wanted to do something reckless or even as simple as go on a school trip out of town. I used to tease her then but now I can sooooo relate to every emotion that must've gone through her heart.

Another lesson I learnt - that my husband is truly my rock in life. And that with him, I can face every challenge thrown my way. I am so glad that after all the childhood and teenage crushes, I finally found, loved and married a man who is just perfect for me. He and this event called motherhood taught me that come what may, if life throws a challenge at you, it also gives you the strength to endure and come out of it with flying colors. Or in other words, if God brought you to it, he will take you through it. You know how I know this? When lil N was born, we used to live in the US. And due to many reasons best left aside in this post, both our sets of parents could not come be with us when our baby was born. So we had to figure out how to raise this little bundle of joy all on our own. Not one single extra hand to help. Not even a maid. (We had hired a nanny once I was back home from the hospital but she turned out so devastating that we had to fire her within a week or so). That was the time my hubby and I bathed, fed, changed, rocked the newborn to sleep, took shifts at night all on our own 24 hours a day with no prior experience or help. Our love grew stronger than ever during that time and still makes me believe that come what may in life, if I have my husband by my side, I will be just fine.

During that same time, I also learned that when you are far away from home and your own families, your close friends become your extended family. So while we were learning how to be a mother and father to our little one when she arrived, our friends did the most amazing thing. They all got together (virtually over email) and created an Excel spreadsheet listing out who will take turns to deliver food (lunch and dinner) to our place every single day until we find a new nanny. And these were people who had kids and full time jobs of their own to worry about. I will never forget how our doorbell rang every morning with one of our friends coming by to check in on us and drop our lunch on their way to work. Some of them even had their mothers visiting them in the US and sent nutritious laddus, drinks, etc. that are given to new mothers in their own families. God bless them all.

There is soooo much more and like I said, each day teaches you something in this new life as a mommy. But it is not easy to write it all down. I can keep going and going but I think I'll stop now and pause to think who else can I tag. I am pretty sure most people I know have taken this tag up already but I'd still love to hear from Simran, HVP, Choxbox, Shruti and any other mommy who'd like to take it up. Take it away ladies!

I missed you

2011-06-18T16:33:00.003+05:30

Hi Mommy Bloggers,

I have been away from the blogging world (both physically and mentally) for a while now...or so it seems. May have been just a few weeks or so (or maybe the entire summer) but feels like ages. So much so that when I came back today to visit my blog, I almost forgot my blogger password! Strange na? Lots has been going on in life which did not leave much time to visit this space and so the drive to come back and write about it kept fading away which led to a circle of sorts...no time to write....no time to read...so no interest in visiting the blog to catch up from where I left off.

Nyways, today I had a few minutes to myself while dear hubby and kiddo took a nap so thought lemme just catch up. And I found that I quite liked it after all this while too :-) Came back to read such interesting stuff going on in some of your lives...such as a new book by Manasi and all the fun stuff Simran has been upto...and a tag from Manasi which I will take up soon and oh soooo much more!

Thanks for keeping the mommy bloggers world alive ladies...and thanks for making me feel welcome to come back to it anytime. Will continue our journey together as and when time (and emotions) permit.

Luv,

Where is my baby?

2011-04-15T12:14:00.007+05:30

You know your tiny precious little baby has grown up into a big girl when:

You suddenly realize that you have your living room back! I mean for the first 3.5 years, it was not a living room but more of a playschool - full of baby equipment like a rocker, swing, activity gym, rattles, high chair and the list goes on. Yesterday when I was cleaning up her toys in our guest bedroom (which doubles up as N's playroom), I suddenly realized how all her stuff has moved from the drawing room into this bedroom. And now this is her haven...a place where she spends a lot of time in...drawing & coloring on her new table & chair, doing puzzles, playing with her friends, etc. Suddenly we don't receive comments from single friends who visited us saying your home looks more like a playschool :-)

Her toys graduate from being dumped into one big laundry basket in the corner of a room to being organized into cupboards or shelves or cubbies so she can pick and choose what she wants to play at a given time and can keep it organized once done.

You see your little one able to rock her body weight back and forth expertly and swing herself so high so easily. Suddenly she no longer needs you to push her back and forth yelling "higher mommy...higher!!!"

Your little one can actually tell you what she wants to eat and what she doesn't. Unlike just a few months ago when just getting stuff into her system was an accomplishment...didn't matter what you were stuffing her with :-)

Your little one is not just asking silly questions but actually stuff that makes you stop and think. And not once or twice...every single minute...every single hour of the day.

When you see her mothering her soft toys telling them not to worry coz her mommy is here.

When you notice that she actually has a very sharp sense of time. For example, you pick her up from day care a little early one day and she says "why did you come jaldi today" or when you are running late for her pickup and find her waiting on her mat at school instead of playing in the park. It is so eerie to see how they just know!

When you see her trying to write alphabets and numbers on her DoodlePro instead of her usual drawing or random doodling. And this after NO effort whatsoever from our end. Infact we chose to send her to a Montessori and not a traditional school where they emphasize on holistic learning rather than just reading or writing at such a young age.

When you see that she can actually keep herself busy for hours now engaged in some activity or the other at home rather than her calling us to play with her ALL the time until just a month ago.

I am sure this list can keep growing as I find myself marveling at every new little thing each day. It is just so emotional to see the transformation which seems like it happened overnight. Not sure if it is because she has now graduated from being taken care by a maid to going to a daycare setup or it is just her age to grow into such things but things are changing fast now and thankfully for the better. Knock on wood. Kala Tikka. Love you my baby. Can't believe you will be 4 in a few months already!!!

Inspiration Block

2011-04-08T11:53:00.011+05:30

Help ladies!!! I seem to be stuck in an 'inspiration block'. You know how you can't figure out what to write next when you have a writer's block? Well, for me these days, each day seems to be like an inspiration block. Almost like I can't figure out what to do with my time all day. I mean I want to tidy up my home or redecorate or do a fun craft activity with my child or just cook something new. But just don't seem to muster up the enthusiasm to do anything!!! Why??? This sucks! I am not sure when this will pass or what it will take to make this pass...so thought I'd ask you ladies for suggestions. Do you feel this way at times? How do you snap out of it? Even at work, I do what I need to do but almost subconsciously...not wholeheartedly. Each evening when I come home, I hate to think of getting into meetings again within an hour...I used to do it all so well until a few weeks ago...these days I just feel shitty about everything :(

The ONLY thing that I have started engaging in these days is this new sitcom Modern Family, after reading about it at Simran's blog here. Thanks Simran for that one new thing I look out for during the day...I had almost given up on TV after moving to India since I was soooo hooked to all the sitcoms in the US but had failed to find anything interesting here. I know they telecast replays but those are seasons I may have already seen or some shows I loved are not even telecast in India. So this is like a breath of fresh air.

Any other tips, ideas, suggestions guys? I thought of finally acting on something I always wanted to learn - sewing. I even called the classes yesterday and told them I am coming today to enroll. But then not sure what made me fizzle out this morning :( That's another reason you may see a new look to my blog...these new colors kind of made me feel good and I hope to get inspired by them too. Every little bit counts you see :-)?

Edited to Add: It has been several hours since I typed this post. Since then, I have taken a short afternoon nap (since I was working from home today), gone to the parlor to get my legs waxed, have planned on taking lil N to the swimming pool tomorrow, had a good nice talk to the hubby about this and generally feel a whole lot better already. Almost like I have finally snapped out of it. Thank God!!! And Simran, a sincere thanks to you as well for writing some uplifting words almost right away. I think finally writing about my emotions and knowing there are others like me out there helped me get out of it.

Of Graduation Days and Emotions

2011-03-24T14:24:00.002+05:30

So during the week of organizing International Women's Day event and taking ownership to lead the Women's Diversity Group at work, there was yet another day when I was doing some kind of hosting, addressing the crowd and generally glowing in 2 two seconds of fame :-)

You remember I wrote about N's first school in life a while ago and how I loved it? Infact I think I wrote several posts on her at that school (check here and here). Well, they called me to *ahem ahem* be the chief guest at their graduation and annual day this year. I was shocked to say the least since this has never ever happenned to me before. I mean chief guest!!? Really? Am I that old or distinguished enough? Or am I famous or well connected enough? They surely have mistaken me for someone else I thought. Or maybe they couldn't rope in anyone on their A list and so I was their fall back option. So I tried telling them they should get a more influential person and what not but they wouldn't budge. They wanted it to be a parent, someone who knows the school more closely and thought I would be best since I had always supported them over the last couple of years.

So there I was! Supposed to come up with a speech, address the crowd, watch the cute little babies perform on stage and hand over graduation certificates to the cute little ones. I was touched. Ofcourse I wanted to do it. So I thought and thought about what I could tell these parents, grandparents and relatives who will be attending that day and most of whom I was sure would be older and wiser than me. Did some research online...just looking for graduation day ideas and came across this beautiful song that inspired me to pen all my thoughts down.

I decided that THIS was going to be my key message. I took inspiration from Sheryl Sandberg's video that I posted here since I was to give a talk without looking at any powerpoint slides out here. There would be no fancy conference room or a laptop going through my slide deck or anything. So I had to say what I had to say as if coming to me naturally and fill it with real life incidents. And I thought Sandberg did a great job at that in the video. Not easy for me to do this after spending years and years in the corporate world doing presentations with the aid of slides, notes or powerpoint decks. Kinda reminded me of school days when we would "by-heart" our poems or speeches and have to narrate :-) What would life be without technology....sigh!

Anyways, I digress. So I wrote and wrote till I poured my heart out on paper (well...electronic paper I must say) and decided that I'd end my talk with this above mentioned song. I'd let them listen to how beautifully it describes what I was trying to say and let their eyes moisten up too like mine did when I first heard it.

But then there came another contestant. A song that I have always, always loved and has never failed to make me teary eyed. A song that is sooooooo appropriate for a parent to sing for his/her child....that talks about our aspirations, hopes and prayers for our children. A song I have always wanted to sing for my daughter.

Sigh...not just the words but the picturization is also sooooo touching. Tough choice I tell you. I played both these songs for my little N over the week, slept on it, tried to reach a decision on which one I should tailor my talk towards and which one should be the conclusion of my talk. Finally after a lot of listening to these over and over again....on my laptop...on my ipod...in my sleep even...I decided I'd stick with the former...the song that started it all. After all that was the song that got me started on my writing and helped me put together a very nice message for the audience.

So that's what I did on the morning of March 12. I got up bright and early, got ready, kissed my lovely daughter and hubby goodbye (they had plans to spend a nice lazy, cozy Saturday morning at home) and took the ipod and ipod dock to Kinder Kare Playschool and immersed myself in the children. I had such a good time watching them perform without the anxiety of waiting for my little one to come on stage and worrying whether she would look at me and cry or dance! I was amazed to see that not a single one cried this year unlike last year when my lil N was doing the performance on that same stage but burst into tears when she was being handed over the graduation certificate. Too emotional I tell ya! They then welcomed me, said some really nice words about me and a small girl maybe 3.5 years old welcomed me with a lovely bouquet. It was such a pleasure spending the morning with them very unlike how I spent my own daughter's graduation day this year at the other Montessori she is going to. That was a nail biting, tear wiping, stressful event and is probably matter for another post in itself. After spending months practicing her dances at school, the little child was in tears when she was finally put on the stage on their Annual Day. And I don't really blame her coz the kids were taken to a totally different venue, a brand new place and room, a brand new stage where they have never been before and asked to perform. With NO prior mental preparation whatsoever. How would you expect a 3 or 4 year old to do something as humongous without any mental preparation whatsoever? This same child of mine performed much better last year when she was at here at Kinder Kare though she was 1 whole year younger! It is all about preparing and conditioning these little ones I say. Anyways, many other small things that could have been paid more attention to. But that was just Annual Day. There are other good things that this Montessori is doing very well which is why I am happy she is going there for another year.

Overall, this one incident of me going back to her previous school made me think how much I miss staying connected with her school. If I were in the US, I swear I would be so much more involved with her school. It is so normal and kind of expected for parents to stay involved in running the co-operative schools there in the US. I mean everything including volunteering to coach football (or any other sport) or leading a committee to organize other co-curricular activities, etc. Whereas in India, in most schools, parent involvement is neither offered nor encouraged. Pretty sad isn't it? What do you think?

Happy International Women's Day!

2011-03-08T20:18:00.007+05:30

I had the privilege of organizing the Women's Day celebrations at my company this year and as part of the various sessions I helped facilitate during this event today, I wanted to share one that I really really liked. It is a talk held by Sheryl Sandberg who is the COO of Facebook. She talks about why there are very few women leaders in the world today and delivers 3 key messages that I am sure most of us women who are or have been in the corporate world can relate to. You can see her talk here. If clicking on my link does not work, you can point your browser to go to http://www.ted.com/talks/sheryl_sandberg_why_we_have_too_few_women_leaders.html

By the way when I was approached to lead the Women's Day event at work this year, I wasn't sure I believed in the cause or the day in itself. Coz the fact that we have a special day for women itself highlights the fact that we consider ourselves second citizens in need for special attention. But then a colleague shared his perspective which started to make sense in my mind. He said that when we work with a team of mixed genders, we do not necessarily think differently when talking to a woman or a man. Neither do women in today's corporate world think I am a woman so this is how I work and this is how it is different from a man's way of working. Nope. The only reason we may encourage forming a diversity group for women is because women in general have a unique set of challenges (that may be due to several reasons or factors such as society, upbringing, family, etc.) which they need to overcome if they want to stay ahead in the corporate world. That is why such diversity groups or earmarked days are beneficial so that they can relate to each other and use it like a support group to help each other overcome these challenges.

Do check out Sheryl's video and let me know what you think!

One Year

2011-02-18T15:15:00.007+05:30

Today marks the completion of one year of service with my current employer here in India. Today, incidentally, is also my parent's 35th wedding anniversary.

One year....seems to be such a looooong time and yet sometimes feels like it flew by. And although working in the corporate world is not new to me since that is all I have been doing the past 12+ years (ever since I graduated), this one year is much more different and unique in my mind. Coz this is the year I worked with a new personal title "working mom". And that too not in a country such as the US where most moms end up going back to work any way because they have excellent day care facilities and better work-life balance in general. But in a country like India where going back to work is much more difficult (in my mind) if you are like me who does not have a support system like parents or in-laws or an army of maids around you. Ofcourse I went back to work 3 months after my baby was born but I was in the US then and that's what everyone did. Most new moms there either found a daycare or a good nanny and didn't even consider staying at home as a viable option. Atleast not amongst the people I knew. And atleast not in the mindset I was in where career and ambition was foremost in our minds.

But things changed when we R2Ied. This was when my daughter turned exactly a year old (notice how we've been taking significant steps every one year or so?). Our move back to India kind of forced me to step back and really think....take some time out to get adjusted...help get settled...spend time with my little one and evaluate my priorities overall. And I did take almost a year to make the decision to go back to work. I remember how I was still struggling with the prospect of leaving my daughter in the hands of a maid around this time last year when this job came my way. I was not even actively looking but this very professional staffing manager was pursuing me for the current job. I remember not even entertaining his calls the first few times but finding how persistent he was piqued my interest. And I thought why not give it a shot...for this role was something close to my heart anyway. And it sounded exiting since it meant starting a whole new function in India from scratch. I was very sure I could excel in this role but equally unsure about how I would manage the child-care front here in this new city without any reliable maids as of yet or any good daycare option too. So that's how I started last year...very unsure of every step I took...constantly double guessing my decision...going on mommy guilt trips every single day for the first 5-6 months of working...hating the unreliability of maids in India or the availability of good day care centers nearby...in general really struggling to find a balance between home and work.

Until today where I can step back and marvel at how we made it through. A huuuuuuuge chunk of credit goes to my really supportive hubby who kept me going every time I faltered due to mommy guilt. And of-course also to my very very endearing, accommodating and loving little daughter who finally did understand that mommy has to go to work for her sanity and for her to be a happier person in life which in turn will help keep everyone at home happy as well :-) And I think a huge amount of credit also goes to the company I work for which is very different from many other companies in India that I have seen in terms of understanding the value of providing flexibility and good work-life-balance opportunities. I totally admire the culture they have fostered and would absolutely recommend such employers for all working moms out there.

Just an update

2011-02-11T11:56:00.003+05:30

Just stopping by to post a quick update and say thanks to all the well wishers who left comments on my previous post here. So given that it has been 4 weeks now since lil N started going to daycare, I am finally pleased to see that she has warmed up to her caretakers and other kids there and is happy going to school and daycare now. We had decided not to call it daycare just so that she does not compartmentalize things...we still call it school coz it is the same place she stays back at...just the teacher changes. So she went from not liking her daycare teacher to now actually saying that she likes her and her school teacher as well and her 'akkas' there too. And that now she is a big girl and likes going to school. My heart swelled with pride when I heard that the first time and I sent a silent prayer to the Almighty for making her such a sweetheart and for giving me the strength to not give up.

Like Rohini says...kids really are more resilient than what we give them credit for at times. Thank you god and touchwood...kala tikka...whatever it takes to keep this going.

A Lot of Mixed Emotions

2011-02-02T11:30:00.008+05:30

A lot has been going on in our lives lately regarding the child-care arrangement front so haven't even had the time or mindset to jot down all the emotions. Just felt like penning down some thoughts today so that I can read them again when I am confronted with mixed emotions such as this morning.

So our full time live-in maid has disappeared after a long stint of 7 months at our home. She told us one fine Friday evening (on Jan 14 to be precise) that she is going to her 'gaaon' (i.e. village) on Sunday. We actually stopped everything we were doing and even switched off the TV to give her full attention coz obviously we couldn't believe what we just thought we heard. We really thought this was one of her moods when she was a little homesick and wanted to go visit her mom. She often used to say that but more so jokingly and when asked if she was really serious, she used to say 'no no - I will only go after a year or so and will make sure I give you enough notice so that N is not stranded without a 'didi' suddenly'. So when she actually said this that evening, I initially brushed it off until she said it again and that's when I switched off the TV with utter disbelief! But turns out, she had to go since her mom had called for whatever unexplained reason (some death in the family though we suspect the real story was totally different) and that she will be back in 10 days. So calls to the agency were maid, replacement was asked for but obviously none could be provided in one day and so with no time for us to react or think straight, we asked her to leave on Sat night itself since we had plans with friends for Sunday and were not going to be home but more than that, we wanted N to have one full day without her on Sunday so that it sinks in and she does not feel deserted all of a sudden on Monday when mommy and daddy will also not be around. So that was that. N cried and asked her to not go....I cried coz I still could not believe she was gone that fast and most of all I cried coz my heart went out to N...she loved her 'didi' so and had come to a good routine and stability with her sticking around more than any other previous nanny had.

After she left, I made a decision not to see N like that any more. We were not going to get any replacement nanny or didi for her after this and have her go through this heartache again when she left. This was not a permanent arrangement and I did not want N to pine for her 'favorite didi' time and time again. Believe me, she still asks for the didi who worked at our place before this one and still believes she will come back one day. So I decided that was it and we were just going to give day care a whole hearted shot this time. No more maids...no more dependency...no more bitterness or N's heartache when they leave at the drop of a hat...nothing. So come Monday, I spoke to her Montessori where she goes since they have a daycare that they just started this year. We packed her off to the Montessori as usual and I decided to pick her up at 2:30pm instead of the usual 1:00pm. She being a very gradual kind of a child, I did not have the heart to keep her at the daycare until 5pm from day 1. So we gradually stretched her day there a little by little at a time and finally after 2 weeks, we reached a point where she got picked up at 5. She did not eat lunch there for the first 2 days since she said she wanted mommy to feed her...once we tackled that...we took on the napping task. She did not nap there for 2 weeks but has finally been napping there for the last 2 days. Now next is the evening milk...she refuses to drink it there coz she wants mommy to feed it to her. We are doing really tiny baby steps...one thing at a time. I am a very soft hearted mommy that way. I cannot see my child even wince in sorrow...forget about cry. And the sad part is that I know she cries a little every day at 1pm when other mommies pick up their kids she does not get picked up any more. She was used to a routine where she and her best friend A would get dropped to school together every morning by her dad and A's mommy (our friend B) would pick her and A up every afternoon at 1 so they would enjoy coming home together. Now when A got up and left at 1, she had tears in her eyes for the first 2 weeks and I felt terrible inside for making her go through this. But gradually it has improved and there have been days when she has told me proudly that she did not cry at all in school. What I am observing these days is that even though she hates getting ready to go to school now (she cries almost every morning that she does not want to go), when I pick her up, she is a happy child. She tells me all that she did and is very glad when I reward her with a candy or something for being a good girl at school. I know in my heart of heart that this setup is the best for her but when she cries each morning that she does not want to go to school (she never did this earlier when her day ended at 1pm) or when she asks for her 'didi' at times my heart breaks into a million tiny pieces. I am torn between continuing to push her a little every day to get adjusted into this new routine versus picking up the phone and calling her 'didi' back to join us (incidently her didi did call a few days ago and leave a message that she can come back if we wanted her to. But we were not happy with the way it was done...she called our friend B (A's mommy) to check on us and ask her to let us know. That was not very nice of her in my mind).

Now you other soft hearted mush mommies like me....please let me know what you'd do if you were in my shoes? I know there are pros and cons for each setup and I am fully aware of what is best for my child. But what do you do when your child still lives in the belief that her favorite didi is coming back soon and that this is a temporary arrangement? What do you do when she cries in the morning and says she does not want to go to school when earlier she used to enjoy every minute of her ride to school and back with her best friend A? I mean...its not that dreary in practical life...she has another close friend who stays back at daycare with her and she has begun to adjust a little more each day. But you know how we moms are right...always confused and torn!

Please post your comments or thoughts...I'd love to hear advise from experienced mommies.

Profound Words

2011-01-10T12:08:00.006+05:30

Some of the things the little one says these days make my jaw drop. I mean we have NEVER ever used such words ourselves so it makes me wonder where she picks up these things.

Like this past weekend, I was annoyed at her for not letting me talk to one of my friends who had called from the US. N was constantly around me asking me for chips, chocolate, this and that while I was trying to have a sane conversation. Finally I had to hang up in a hurry and was upset with N for making me do that. But I didn't yell or do anything about it. I just sulked. So after a while she noticed that I was not in a good mood and was propped on the couch with hubby and watching TV. She chooses this moment to announce the following:

N: "I don't want to live in this house. No one smiles at me here."

Whoa!!! We were shocked!!!

*******************

Another cute incident. She comes home with one of our friends B who picks up her son A and my lil N after school. So one day on her way home she somehow realized that their teacher has put her napkin in her friend A's school bag by mistake. So she tells B auntie:

N: "Auntie, A has my napkin. Please give it back to me nahin to (or else) I will cry and have big big tears in my eyes in front of my mamma and papa!"

******************

Now please tell me where on earth do they pick up such thoughts and words from???? I mean she is still a 3 year old isn't she?

Heartache

2011-01-06T13:04:00.005+05:30

N's grandparents (grandpa, grandma and aunt) left for Bombay 4 days ago (on Sunday, Jan 2) after staying with us for 3 weeks during N's Christmas break. She has been missing them soooo much since then. The night before they were leaving, she went to each one of them saying "I don't want you to go :(" It was tough explaining to her that they have to go for now but will come back soon.

They were leaving very early on Sunday morning and I made sure I woke her up early morning at around 4am when they were leaving so that she can say goodbye. Or else she would wake up to a rude surprise to find them gone and be very unhappy. So I remind her about how she said bye to them each time she asks for them. Luckily for her, Sunday was relatively easy since 2 of my cousins (lil N's P mama and R maasi with her 2 boys) came to visit us. So she had company around to distract her. But after that she has been asking me when will Nana and Nani (my mom and dad) come. Sigh!

The next day (Monday) she woke up and her first words were "where are my amma, aabu and bua?" I reminded her again and since school was reopening, got her ready and packed her off to school. I knew it would really hit her hard when she got back and did not find anyone (including her mom and dad) at home unlike the last few weeks and we had been on vacation too along with her grandparents. So sure enough she came back from school and looked for them in every room at home and then asked her didi (our maid) when are her amma, aabu and bua coming back.

After 4 days have passed, she has come back to her routine of school and stuff but still misses them. She does seem to have come to terms with what we've been telling her though - that they sat in an aeroplane and went to their Bombay home. They will come back again in a few months.

I feel sad for her and have been going home a little earlier than usual from work so that she does not feel too lonely. She does seem to be okay now and is mostly back to her normal routine. But she sure seems to have made up her mind for the next time. Here is what she plans:

A snippet of our conversation last night while putting N to sleep:

N: Mummy, when will my Aabu, Amma and Bua come again?

Me: Hmmm...(thinking of a suitable number of weeks to be given to her)

N: When they come back again, I want to tie them and not let them go back!

Me (smiling and not so surprised at her plan): Okay sweetie, I will help you tie them okay?

N: Yes, we will tie them in our drawing room. Okay mamma?

Me: Okay sweetie, now go to sleep.

Sigh! Come back again Amma, Aabu and Bua - your lil N misses you so!

December = Loads of Fun!

2011-01-03T14:25:00.003+05:30

December in our house has somehow always meant loads of fun. For this is the month when we celebrate our anniversary, my hubby's birthday, Christmas and the New Year! Soooooo many occasions to party, buy and give gifts, have cake and most of all - spend tonnes of quality time with family.

So this December as little N's school was on a 2 week Christmas break, we had planned her grandparents and bua's trip to our place during the same time. N's amma and abu (grandpa and grandma) flew over from Bombay on Dec 11 for a good 3 weeks stay. And bua joined us on Dec 22. And more than us, it was lil N who was the MOST excited! You can just say she has been having a blast ever since they arrived. Our home has been always full of relatives visiting us - both from out of town to the ones in Bangalore itself. N has not had a houseful of so many people since a year ago when it was my brother's wedding. Ofcourse she has had trips to her Nana Nani's or Dada Dadi's home but never a house full of people like we've been having these days. And frankly, I am enjoying all this for a change too. This is the part I really really like about moving back to India. Family! Nothing like it!

So here's what we've been doing over the past few weeks:

Our Anniversary

All of us went to a nearby Ganesh temple followed by a typical Andhra style dinner served on banana leaves and such. Was good fun and lil N was the most overjoyed by it - she actually ate curd and rice with her hands and made a good mess but insisted on slurping it up all by herself! Hubby gifted me some good designer jewelry from Tanishq and I put together a nice personal photo calendar for him with important dates marked so that he does not forget.

Christmas

N had a great time decorating the Christmas tree this year not just by herself but with her close friend A. Both of them had a blast putting up all the tree decorations at our place. N insisted on hanging every single item on one branch and was very upset when we finally intervened and "re-balanced" the look :-)

She then had an invitation for a Christmas party at a friend's place which she enjoyed but missed seeing Santa since mommy had to come back for a meeting and N refused to stay back with the maid. Then she spotted her first Santa this year at a department store where we went grocery shopping one weekend. Santa shook hands with her and mommy made him gift her a chocolate she loves (Kinder Joy - she calls it Egg Chocolate). The store guys even took a picture of her with Santa and gave her a complimentary copy which thrilled her to no bounds. Her second encounter with Santa was at the Christmas party in our apartment complex on Dec 24. That Santa gave her 2 Eclairs and she was so happy. Then we told her Santa will come visit her home and when she wakes up the next morning there will be a gift for her under her Xmas tree. Mommy had packed a finger painting set with a notebook and stickers for her. N loved it the next morning and spent atleast an hour painting with it. She even sat with her baby (her teddy bear) under her tree the night before explaining the funda of Santa to him for quite a while. Interestingly though after taking her pic with Santa in the store the other day she asked me on her way home "Mommy who was in the Santa suit?" I was a little heart broken that she kinda suspected Santa was not real. So I debated with myself for a bit but decided to tell her the truth anyway - so I said it was an uncle. She asked why was he wearing Santa suit so I said because uncle knows that children love Santa that's why.

Hubby's Birthday

Poor hubby's birthday was the most hilariously disastrous event this month. Started with him wanting to go to a certain restaurant for lunch. By the time all 6 of us finished with our breakfast, bathing and getting ready routine, it was already 1pm. Then when we were just about to step out, the plumber whom we had called early in the morning finally decided to show up for some repair work in our kitchen. That took another 30 mins and left our tummies growling. So we called ahead to make sure we have a table ready and finally reached the place in a huge hurry. But the person who was showing us to our table there had a major attitude issue and was really rude in general. We hated the table he had reserved for us and he did not even apologize or ask us to wait for another one. All he said was "We hate this table too but since you called ahead, we kept it open for you!!!" Imagine that! So we said "You can keep the table for yourself!" and walked out of that place. Next we drove to another outlet of the same restaurant which was around 20 mins away. Given our luck, they had absolutely no tables available there for another hour and so we were again stuck wondering where to go. Debated a few places on the way and finally went to one that used to have a good buffet. Reached, took our seats all hungry and tired only to find out that they have stopped serving the buffet recently!!! Ugh! We gave up and finally shoved some food into our faces and got out of there. Picked up some dessert on the way and reached home saying thank god the disastrous lunch is over :-)

All day though N was the most excited member in the house telling everyone she met that it was her papa's happy birthday today. And she went on to add that her amma and abu and bua have come from Bombay!!! She kept singing "Happy Birthday to Papa" all day and also kept asking us to start celebrating papa's birthday (which meant she wanted the cake cutting ceremony to to be held right away). She was the most thrilled when papa finally cut the cake in the evening and gave her a huge helping of plum cake with vanilla ice cream.

A Day at the Park

On Dec 29, us and a few of our friends decided to take the kids to Cubbon park in the city. Me and hubby had already taken this last week in Dec as vacation time from work to ensure maximum quality time with the family was spent. And we had planned a trip to Waynad that never actually happened due to a booking goof-up by the travel website. That's how we were home and planning day trips to places like Cubbon Park. So this park in Bangalore is known for its 'Bal Bhavan' which has many areas for the kids to play in, an aquarium and the main attraction being a train ride. Turns out my lil N has never ever sat in a train before. So obviously she was overjoyed at the thought of sitting in a train and even after it was done, she kept asking all afternoon why the train did not take her again. The kids (N, her friends A and A) had a blast! They visited the aquarium, admired all the fish, had a joy ride in the train and then played to their heart's content in 3 different parks. By the time we got home late afternoon, we were dead tired and hit the bed instantly.

New Year's Eve

Thankfully since the time we moved to India, we have never had to plan our New Year's Eve or any other festival for that matter. Our huge apartment complex and the wonderful cultural society in it hosts very good celebrations for most of these occasions. And the best part - parents like us with little kids do not have to travel to or from the event and can run back home if the child is tired or cranky or go back and forth whenever we feel like it. So this New Year's too we took tickets to the "Midnight Masquerade" bash being organized at our complex's tennis court. And apart from the food that was mostly over by the time we hit the counters, I really REALLY enjoyed the dancing this year. Last year it rained and it being an outdoor party, the dance floor and food stalls were all empty due to the rains. Some brave ones like us took umbrellas and ventured out again and danced on wet floors and even though it stopped raining in half an hour, the fun had halted. This year, thankfully it wasn't even cold and it didn't rain. And most of all, my lil N was overjoyed at songs like "Sheila ki jawani" and other latest hits. I guess it was because that she could actually identify many songs this year and wanted to dance to most of them was what made it wonderful for me. I actually had a dance partner this year and one who was more overjoyed and enthusiastic about dancing than I was. Believe me - she was the one pulling me to dance and I was worn out but she just kept going and going! Knock on wood. She did not even want to stop for dinner so I let her go on from around 8 to 10pm. After which she ate just a little bit and was too tired to do anything else after that. She did stay up though until around 12:30am and then slept on couch while all 6 of us snuggled in front of the TV. A nice, good, enjoyable and cozy New Year's Eve was had. Thank god for that.

And here's wishing you all a very happy and healthy New Year as well. I know December is the season for being merry...so do tell me how did you all enjoy the passing of last year. Any fun vacations or events to talk about?

More cute conversations

2010-12-02T13:54:00.005+05:30

N came back from school today and her nanny (our maid) had cooked fish for her after ages. We usually do not cook fish at home since we are not big fans of fish but the maid is Bengali so she craves it once in a while. Today she went and bought it and cooked it for herself and li'l N.

Now when I called home to check how N was doing, I could hear my lil N saying in the background "Mien aapki shikayat karoongi mamma se" (I will complaint about you to mamma). So I wanted to humor her and asked our maid to hand her the phone.

N comes on the phone and says: "Mamma aap didi ko daant lagana kyonki didi ne ghich pich kiya meri plate mien" (Ghich pich kiya in our house is a kiddish way of saying made a mess)

Me: "Ghich pich kiya? Kya ghich pich kiya?"

N: "Poori dal meri plate mien dal di aur katori gira di."

Me: "Oh...ok. Mien daant lagaungi ok?"

N: "Aur aap mujhe fish nahin dete ho. Didi deti hai. Lekin aap daant lagana. Fish mien dandi tha."

Me thoroughly amused by now at the endearing racket these 2 were creating at home. But also being my cautious mommy self now and instructing the maid to make sure she cleans the bones before feeding the child (choking hazard and what not).

Sigh...when did my lil N grow up so much! She went from speaking pure English to a lot of Hindi now and can even translate between the 2 skillfully. She speaks to us in English and if she wants to convey the same thing to her maid or her grandparents, she turns to them and translates for them in Hindi :-) And she never really likes to have proper conversations on the phone except for days like today. Just these small snippets of talks with her on the phone make my working day go by a lot easier at times.

Some weekend conversations with N

2010-11-22T16:12:00.005+05:30

We had a hectic Saturday this past weekend - spent most of it outdoors so wanted to take it easy on Sunday. I decided to clean N's toys this Sunday morning to sort out old unused stuff into items for donation, discarding and keeping and empty out a cabinet to organize her toys better. Spent a good 2 hours on that, found toys that she hadn't played with in ages and N had a blast rediscovering the joys of silly things such as plastic monster's teeth, screeching bean ball, basket ball (with its lost hoop that I put up again for her), a new swinging and pull up bar that we put up for her as well, etc. After all that fun, we crashed on the bed in the afternoon hoping that all 3 of us would enjoy a nice afternoon siesta. But she usually gets very playful when we get horizontal even if it is late at night. Infact her daily bedtime routine that she really looks forward to is a good playful wrestle with her daddy after which mommy has to wind her down with a story and what not.

So back to this Sunday afternoon...while some of her wrestling and rolling around and jumping on our backs got a little rough, I said to her:

Me: Beta...don't hurt papa so much, he will get boo.

N (sulking): I don't like No! You are not a nice mamma!

Me (quite amused at her reaction): I am not a nice mamma? Ok so what should we do?

N: No! You are not a nice mamma! I want a new mamma!

Me: Oh really? Tell your papa to get a new mamma!

N: Papa - I want a new mamma!

Papa: (just enjoying a good chukle)

Me: Okay tell me - who do you want as your mamma? B auntie or A auntie or G auntie? (naming a few of my close friends whose kids and my lil N hang out almost every day).

N: B auntie.

Me (Just amused and awed to see her clarity in preferences and thoughts): Really? Not G auntie or A auntie?

N: No - I want B auntie as my mamma.

Sigh! I guess this is what I get when I threaten her to take T as my baby when my lil N is not listening to me (T is G auntie's daughter).

******************************

Normally when N wakes up every morning, she is just like me - cranky, not a very happy person, needs a warm beverage (milk in her case, tea in mine) to enter her system before she finally smiles and stretches and really wakes up. This morning though, she woke up and instead of wailing or crying for mommy, she stretched, was all fresh and when she saw me enter the room, she said:

N: Mamma, when I was sleeping at night, you forgot to help me wear a full pant and a full shirt.

Me (surprised): Oh...did you feel cold at night N?

N: Yes. And you forgot my jacket also.

Me: Sorry bebu.

N: Ok...when it is night again, you help me wear full pant and full shirt ok?

Me: Yes my baby.

Thinking: No wonder I saw her sit up sometime late at night, pull the blanket on top of her and go back to sleep at night. Which is very very unlike my daughter. She is normally the one who has never liked to be under a blanket at night however cold it is. I remember she used to even wiggle out of her swaddle (when she was less than a month old) that most other babies seemed to enjoy when they were infants. Note to self : She has been running a cold since Friday though. Maybe that's why.

A very good morning to you all as well...

2010-11-15T11:21:00.001+05:30

Happy Monday everyone! And a very good morning to all.

Not sure why but I feel like I have suddenly woken up from a long slumber. Somehow, it feels like the last week kind of whizzed past by and I was too tired or sleepy or just not in the mood to notice. So much has been going on in life lately that I haven't even had the time or motivation to blog about any of it. But somehow this morning, I feel energized and refreshed again. No real rhyme or reason...maybe just maybe its coz it is the last day of my monthly visitor Aunty Flo :-)

Anyways...hope everyone had a nice Diwali break. I, for one, enjoyed two back to back long weekends at work. We had a Monday (Nov 1) and the same Friday (Nov 5) as holidays so just a 3 day week at work was a nice change. We decided to capitalize on this and booked a trip to Goa for Oct 30 - Nov 1. Left Bangalore by bus on the night of Oct 29, reached Goa the next morning and checked into the Kenilworth resort we had booked. And believe me, after that, we did really NOTHING for the next 4 days. Just relaxed, ate, enjoyed the beach and the pool to our heart's content. Bliss. Pure bliss. Really a much needed break just as a cozy family of 3 after a long long while. Vacations are a very nice time to bond emotionally and rediscover the joys of having each other and counting our blessings. I am glad we took that break.

Post that we just took it easy during Diwali. Had planned to travel again to visit my parents but were honestly too tired after the long road trip to Goa. Infact since the bus ride took too long due to bad roads, we took a one way cab from Goa back to Bangalore and cancelled our return bus tickets. That was a wiser decision and on hindsight - should have done that to and fro right from the start. Oh well...lesson learnt. So Diwali was spent by me making some besan laddus at home and generally doing rangolis, diyas and socializing with some friends - that's all. No fireworks for us since we are not crazy about them and neither is li'l N. She infact is terrified of going anywhere near them. We took her down for a walk in our apartment complex on Diwali night and she hated the noise of these bombs and ladis and cried to go back home. So we did what we usually do every year at Diwali - sat in our balcony and enjoyed the view of fireworks in the Bangalore skyline. We are lucky to have a very good view of the city from our own home so Diwali nights from our balcony are pretty nice.

Me and my hubby were talking on our way back from Goa about how he has noticed that after most of our vacations, we have some life changing events at home. Our last trip was to Sirsi, Ankola and hubby's native for li'l N's mundan and dear hubby had quit his job right after that. This time too there are some huge changes going on at my work as well as his. And we spent a good chunk of time discussing these during our drive home. So that is the other reason I have been preoccupied and away from blogging too much. To give you a summary - the company I work for is getting acquired by another MNC which means that I may not have the same job anymore. Infact, if I don't find anything else within this MNC, I may have to look outside in the next 6 months or so. And I wasn't too happy about the idea of polishing my interview shoes all over again :-( I just don't do too well with change when it is not what I have chosen generally so I was quite mad at losing the great job I had. I mean it had a very good amount of flexibility which was the only reason I could even think of working with a little child at home. And it matched my past experience and career desire perfectly. It was in many ways tailor made for me. It will be next to impossible to find another one like this in today's market. I will be forced to change my career and lose the flexibility a little which I really don't wish to at this point. Oh well...enough negativity right? Let's wait and see...and hope for the best. Like I said - this morning I am all fresh and energized full of positivity again. Hubby too got a new boss at work and there are major re-orgs happening that may not be received too well by everyone. But he too is dealing well with it and making the most out of it.

On a brighter note, I had planned to invite some upper management guests from work over for Diwali. And I have been stressing about that for weeks. But finally made it happen last night and thankfully it was a success (atleast in my mind :-)). No more nerve wrecking moments wondering what to cook and how to place everyone and what to buy etc. Whew! We did have a good time and some great discussions. Some things that were said and that stayed with me:

On the topic of when to pursue entrepreneurship if that is what you really want to do - one thing he said was - do not give yourself artificial deadlines such as when I am x years of age I will do something of my own etc. Infact, if you have something in mind, the earlier you start, the better it is because you have lesser to lose. And the later you start, not only will your responsibilities increase in life but your lifestyle will only go up. It will never go down. So your expenses and stuff will only increase and it will be harder to maintain your lifestyle at that point.

On the topic of buying a home and what kind, where etc. - one thing she said was - when your kids are young, your priorities are very different. What you want at that stage is not an independent villa in a far off location. Infact you want everything at your fingertips - proximity to the medical stores, doctors, super markets, shops, a good community, etc. along with security of a gated complex, amenities that the kids could use such as children's park, pool, tennis court, etc. Once they are older, one can think of building or living in your dream house far away from the city but when the kids are growing is when you really need the support system.

So all in all some eventful few weeks have gone by and hopefully this post brings me out of my so-called stressful misery and motivates me to just look at the brighter side of things. I resolve to stop taking out my stress on my loved ones at home and making them miserable as well. I will just enjoy my present and let God and nature decide what future holds for us all. Now let's just hope I stick to this resolution for atleast a week ;-)

School Season Again

2010-09-28T12:31:00.005+05:30

It is school season again in this part of the world. And parents like me who have kids going to playschools or Montessoris are in the market for the next school their child should go to. Which means any parent I talk to, this is the topic of prime concern and one that we dwell on. Sometimes it feels like I just need something to obsess about in life - it is one thing to the other. Currently it is schools and what method of education is best for my child. Our hubbys' may call us 'paranoid moms' but trust me - all this 'market research' (translate: talking to every parent about it until they are ready to walk off the place) has helped me come to one decision atleast. That we will NOT be targeting schools which have a pure academic bend and focus only on marks rather than an all round development of the child respecting his interests in life. Which means we are taking the bold step of leaving out NPS (the most sought after school in most parent's list on our side of the town) from our list of schools we will apply to. Which is a HUGE step for a person like me who basically finds it so hard to make decisions (you can blame my Gemini genes I guess). My strategy in life otherwise is to shoot in all directions (translate: apply to all schools where the child will be eligible for age-wise) and once you do have a few admissions, think hard (translate: chew my hubby's and others' brains harder) and research a lot more (translate: read and re-read all the same websites and online forums and reviews again) and then make a call. Sigh!

So like I was saying - we have made a decision to leave out NPS from our list. But knowing me, I know the moment I hear that they are issuing forms, you will find me standing (and sweating like a pig) in the loooooooooong queues outside not 1, not 2 but all 3 branches of NPS near our area really hoping that I get the form! That's me. I know myself very well that way. Hubby calls it madness but so be it - I don't want to be left out of the collective madness (afterall the tonnes of other folks standing in line cannot be all mad). And what if my child does not get through allllllllllllllll the other schools we will be trying for and what if this is the only one left? Hubby says in that case we let her continue at the lovely Montessori she is going to now and try again for LKG next year. No big deal. And I actually agree. She and us parents loooooooooooove this Montessori she is going to at present and breaks my heart to have to pull her out of it in 1 year since she is not only enjoying it but learning so much there without any input from our end! She is just 3 and is already recognizing so many alphabets and numbers and is even writing some of them at times. Amazing really. But the sad thing is I don't have the courage to let her continue there and only worry about admissions when she is ready to go into 1st std. I wish I really had that courage and determination coz she has everything she needs here including daycare facilities (if needed). But I know I will feel like I didn't give it a shot for her long term schooling if I do not apply to some of them this year.

Ok so back to the research on big schools. Here is other thing I get put off in schools these days. It is what they call new-age methodologies of teaching which include multimedia enabled classrooms, computer labs with educational games/CDs and such! I mean really? For 4 year olds? I could have popped a DVD at home and have her watch it if that is what teaching is about these days! I mean I would rather have her spend her time outdoors interacting and learning with other kids (even if it is free play) than watch DVDs in a classroom.

So like I said, school fever begins again. And starting next month, you can find me standing in one of those queues at most of them schools in and around our area (even further beyond our area I'm sure)! So here's wishing myself (and my child) some luck and sending luck to all you parents out there who are in the same boat as me this year! Do keep me posted on which schools are you targeting and which you are NOT (in and around Koramangala, Bangalore).

Happy 3rd Bday My Child

2010-08-30T14:58:00.008+05:30

My little baby turned 3 last week. Unlike the past 2 birthdays where we had a huge bash with all friends and family in town, we decided to keep it very cozy and close knit only with immediate family this time around. We wanted to take full advantage of the fact that now that we are in the same country, we can actually share such events with parents and let them have the joy of seeing their little ones grow too. So we booked a trip to Bombay and took a week off from work just so we can be with family.

We enjoyed seeing N bonding with her dada-dadi-bua, nana-nani and even took time out to visit my brother in Pune so that she could see her mama-mami and some of our cousins in Bombay and Pune. Overall nice quality time with family was spent and new memories of the child's 3rd bday were created. Her day started with a visit to the Ganpati temple with her mom-dad-dada-dadi and then cake cutting in the evening. Later we took her to McDonalds for dinner so that she could hog on fries and ketchup to her heart's content!

Got back yesterday and each of us had withdrawal symptoms of getting back to our usual grind this morning :-) The little one kept saying "I don't want to go to school" and "Mamma don't go to office" until she asked what was in her dabba. When I mentioned apples, she asked for cake. And when I actually agreed, she was overjoyed. She was thrilled at going to school with cake in her snack box and actually got ready in a jiffy. She surprised me by even saying her prayers without being prompted to (which is a never before activity btw). I have been saying the Gayatri Mantra with her each morning while starting our drive to school and she helps me finish it. Today she said the whole thing (obviously in her cute childish language) all by herself and pranced around to go to school. But then at the school gate, she actually had tears in her eyes when I dropped her there. I am sure she'll be fine in a few days time as she meets her friends that she has missed over the last 9 days. Already last night was a blast when she just refused to be separated from her best friend A and insisted we go out to dinner with them as well! So a nice Italian dinner was had - courtesy her friend A and our child N who refused to be separated on meeting each other after 9 long days! Another milestone of sorts was had last night when she actually kept her promise of not sucking her thumb if we took her out with her friend A with whom she so wanted to go to the restaurant. She surprisingly did not suck her thumb throughout dinner even though she got sleepy and tired by the end and kept saying "I want to go home and sleep" coz she knew she had promised not to suck her thumb at the restaurant. Even at bed time we insisted a little and she kept the promise well. I am proud of her for keeping her promise this time although it was very difficult for her.

May she grow to make herself and us prouder of her each day...each year...forever. Love you to bits my little one.

A guest post I'd written recently...

2010-08-06T12:23:00.005+05:30

As part of Vishy's attempt to capture various perspectives on "Returning to India".

http://ulaar.wordpress.com/2010/08/04/the-journey-from-one-home-to-another-guest-post/

You can keep going back to find more such stories by clicking on his newly launched category "R2IProfiles" on the right (or you can just go here).

Give it a read and let me know what you think...

Thinking of you and your creativity my child...

2010-07-28T15:19:00.014+05:30

I am making new discoveries in you almost every day these days but just haven't had a chance to actually pen it all down. Here is what you have been upto over the last few months:

You graduated from pre-nursery (playschool) in March 2010. After which you've had 2 months of summer break during which you enjoyed visits from your Nana-Nani in April and your Aabu-Amma-Bua in May. With Nana and Nani, we went to ISKCON temple, Vidhan Soudha and Lalbagh garden in Bangalore. And with Aabu, Aama and Bua we went to Lalbagh garden again where you enjoyed long walks with your papa.

This was also the phase where you had taken to your Doodle-Pro and enjoyed scribbling, doodling and drawing on it. I think that was due to your previous nanny Pooja didi whom you like the most amongst all the nannies you've had to date. She used to enjoy drawing and I think got you hooked onto it as well. I remember discovering how in early April you were trying to copy strokes to actually draw something (instead of just doodling). One day mommy and papa showed you how to draw a fish and the next day, we saw you drawing it all by yourself! Here are your attempts:

A few weeks later, you were into completing some aspects of pics we would draw. For example, if I drew a face, you would draw the ears, bindi, eyes, mouth, even hair - basically whatever was missing. Until one day in May you drew a girl all by yourself! Oh how excited we all were...especially your Aabu and Bua since they are the most artistic ones in our family! Here is how your little doll's drawing looked:

And then you joined your new Montessori in early June. It has barely been 2 months since you joined but you seem to be learning so many things already that it is hard to keep up! Singing new songs, doing new dances is a norm these days. But what got the most oohs and aahs from me most recently is when you recognized certain alphabets and numbers all of a sudden just in the midst of playing. Like the other day, you were playing with an old foam alphabet-and-numbers puzzle that you've played with a million times now. But never before have you actually identified what you are fixing. So I did not think anything might have changed even now until I heard you asking "Where is number 1" this time. I started looking for the piece with number 1 on it and came across the letter I. I thought I can pass it off to you to calm you down but you actually shouted back exclaiming "This is not 1 mamma. This is I!!!" Took my breath away I tell ya!

Then the other day, we went to your cousin baby Aditya's naming ceremony over this last weekend (July 25 to be precise). At the end of that function, you were given lots of balloons to take home to play with. But guess what you did with them this time? That night at home, you asked for a pen and said I want to paint on the balloons mamma. I double checked asking you mean you want to draw/paint with a pen on this book? And you said no - you wanted to draw and paint on the balloon! And when I handed you a black sketch pen, you actually spent almost an hour drawing away on the balloon! You enjoyed it so thoroughly that you had your back towards the TV all the while when mommy and daddy enjoyed a noise free TV time - our first in ages! And when the sketchpen squeaked on the balloon, you remarked how it was making "choik choik" sound! Heehee! The session ended with the balloon bursting and you growing angry at it for bursting off and throwing the sketch pen under the couch :-) That didn't deter you though coz you had 8 more balloons in the house. So the next day you asked for the pen again and spent a good chunk of the afternoon "painting" not one but a bunch of 5 balloons tied together! By the end of each session you had black ink all over you but the joy I got trying to see your imagination at work was precious. You kept telling me what you were drawing...you kept your fingers and tried to sketch around them, drawing a smiley face on the balloon, just drawing a huge circle and coloring it within...all on the poor balloons :-) Here are some pics:

New Gen Kids

2010-07-17T16:55:00.004+05:30

Kids say the funniest things. Listen to a conversation between 2 three-year-olds in our apartment complex. Let me quickly give you the context. The center of this incident is the little girl S (she is 3 years old) whose parents are friends of ours and who, like us, have moved back from the US a couple of years ago. S's daddy has traveled to the US for work a few times since moving back to India.

S (to her mom) : I want that stroller that baby A has (referring to a toy stroller with lights on the wheels)

Mom: I don't know where you get it S. Ask your friend A where she got it.

S (toA): Where did you get this baby stroller with lights?

A: I think Poona.

S (looking very disappointed): Oh. Do you get this in America?

A: I don't know, you may get it. Why?

S: No...if you get it in America, my daddy can buy it for me. Poona...I don't know.

ROFL!!! I was so amazed and amused at the same time when S's mom narrated this to me! See how our kids are turning out? To them, US seems more approachable from Bangalore than Poona :-)

Of viral infections and such...

2010-07-12T16:11:00.013+05:30

We've had the worst few days in a while. Poor baby had to go through a new kind of viral infection in which her throat got badly inflamed and she had viral blisters under her tongue. So bad so that she could not even comprehend putting anything in her mouth due to the extreme pain she was in. Her favorite chocolates, cakes, chips, candy, soup, etc. were offered to her - not once but multiple times...and all she could do was stare at it for a bit and then fold and keep it away. My heart broke at a small child going through so much pain that she would want to eat her favorite things and ask for them but then would cry saying "chhaala" or "fever" and point to her mouth or throat and put it back. It started on Wednesday night and by Thursday afternoon when the fever refused to subside with Crocin syrup, I called the pediatrician. He advised administering 6ml of Ibugesic Plus every 8 hours for the fever and throat pain she was complaining of and wait it for a day or two before bringing her in. But by Friday, things just did not seem to be improving and with her not eating or even drinking anything, I took her to the pediatrician for an examination.

He checked and declared that no antibiotics will help as it is a viral infection. The first thing I remember him asking me is "What are you most worried about". Coz if anything, he asked me to be prepared for it to get worse before it gets better. He said to leave her alone if she does not eat or drink too much, don't force anything except offer warm liquids often (such as warm water, soup, dal, rice water, etc.) and keep administering Ibugesic Plus every 8 hours to help in her pain and fever. If needed, we can supplement with Crocin after 4 hours or so as well. But he prepared me mentally to say she will be worst when she wakes up coz her throat will be like sandpaper. She will probably have body ache, headache or eyes will hurt etc. She will lose weight and be ill for a week. Gosh my jaw dropped when I heard that there was nothing we could do to ease her pain or reduce the misery. It had to take its course. When we went home, she just got worse by evening as a new blister under her tongue that I had not seen before was really really troubling her. She could not bear the pain and cried constantly holding her mouth. Poor thing didn't know what it was and kept referring to it as "chhilka" (instead of chhala). That Friday evening was the worst as I had 2 meetings that I could not get out of and one of them was my 1:1 with the boss. When he heard me talking on the phone with her crying in my lap, he was instantly so supportive and first of all joked about it saying "Whoa! How many participants do we have on the call today" And when I explained she was ill, he sympathized and asked "Do you think we can talk"? I said we could until she let us which was long enough for us to have a meaningful conversation. So that was good. But later that night, she just got worse with the pain in her chhala. The fact that she kept complaining of the pain and wouldn't do anything but hold her mouth and cry, we applied the Smyle gel on it thinking it will help her (obviously after consulting with the ped). But that seemed to hurt her even more and she started kicking her legs and throwing her hands in pain! Gosh - I have never seen the poor child in so much pain ever! We panicked thinking why is she acting abnormal and worriedly called the doc to ask which hospital should we rush her to. But thankfully, after I made her rinse her mouth and get rid of the gel, she calmed down a little. Still didn't eat or drink but atleast stopped writhing in pain. Poor child did not sleep a wink that entire night! She just sat with me and watched Dora on TV or wanted to play or read books, etc. Whenever she saw anyone on TV or in the books eating anything, she would ask for the same thing. And when I offered it to her, she would just cry saying "fever hai" or "chhilka". Worst was when she asked for a chocolate (which in good health is the last thing she would resist) and when I gave an entire bar of Dairy Milk to her, she just opened it, started at it for a long time and then wrapped it up and gave it back to me with tears in her eyes. That was my worst moment ever when she wanted to eat stuff she loves and couldn't gather up the courage to coz of the immense pain. Even with water, she was thirsty but when given water, she could not even take a sip. Would just keep bringing the glass to her mouth and then stop. She would take me to the kitchen repeatedly that night, ask for water, and hold the glass and cry. She would not be able to lie down horizontal on the bed and sleep coz even that would aggravate her pain. So finally at 6:30am I somehow convinced her to go inside and slept sitting up holding her onto me. Thankfully she woke up a little more cheerful at around 10am and things started getting better on Saturday with her being able to eat very tiny bites of food and sip on warm water. We started giving her warm water with GluconD so that she can atleast start regaining some energy in her system. By Sunday it was thankfully much better. Thankfully Friday night was the worst of it and it didn't get any worse as we feared. Oh Thank God!!! Touchwood! It is always painful to see your child in pain but to see her heartbroken along with it coz she could not eat or drink even though she wanted to was just double the trauma for me. I remember explaining to her that night about how God gives pain to everyone in life. It is a part of life so that we learn the value of happiness and learn how to bear pain and come out stronger. I told her how mommy also had pain ("boo") when she was a little baby and how her mommy was so worried about her. The child just sat and listened amidst her tears that night but she did narrate some of it back the next morning so hopefully she did understand what I was trying to explain to her.

BTW that night also reminded me of the long sleepless nights we had when she was just born and somehow made me wonder whether I am ready to do this all over again :-) I guess I am...if not for anything, for her own sake. I would like her to have a sibling in life. Ah...maybe someday...For now, I just hope I get your share of pain and misery my child and may you never have to go through such agony again.

Oh and I just realized that I have written about another time when she had had

a viral infection but she was a lot younger then. Seems like the docs in the US and

here in India had nothing too different to advise, which is very reassuring in a

strange kind of way :-) I will post about her recent battle with bladder infection

too at some point so that I remember the details and can help other moms or kids

going through it. That was traumatic coz for the longest time, we did not have a

diagnosis of her pain so it was quite frustrating for us to see her go through the

pain without knowing whats wrong and how to treat it.

Poll Time

2010-06-24T15:28:00.003+05:30

Ok people - please provide me your honest opinions on this childcare issue that has been a lot on my mind lately. For a 2 yr 9 month old toddler who is not too fond of leaving mommy all day long and is generally a shy personality in public (a naughty brat at home or amongst close friends though), what would you personally prefer as a childcare arrangement while mommy is away at work:

Daycare?
Maid at Home?
Combination of Both?
Not Sure

Please use the poll I have created on the right navigation bar here and send me your detailed thought process behind your vote in the comments section if possible. I have had lot of issues finding the right maid for my little girl and have gone through atleast 6 of them in the last 6 months. Each had their pros and cons and I have even tried daycare which has its pros and cons too. But am unable to make up my mind on what I prefer more - her comfort of being in her own home with a maid I may or may not trust or her discomfort of being outside of her familiar surroundings at a day care but with caregivers I may grow to trust. Get the picture? I think most of you working moms go through this and figure out what works for your family the best. I am trying to work it out at present with a lot of different options that I have either tried already or want to try without upsetting her too much. Sigh...the dilemma!

A little bit of this and that...

2010-06-03T14:40:00.014+05:30

Do any of you have issues with the blogroll on your blogs not updating with the latest articles? If you notice carefully, the blogroll that I have on the right, that is supposed to be showing all the blogs I frequent often with titles of the most recent articles, has stopped updating all of a sudden. It used to be that earlier I would just go to my blog and see which of you have written new posts and gladly catch up right away. But now I have to actually go into each blog and see if there are any new posts or not. Annoying behavior by blogger.com I must say. Anybody else out there noticing this bug? Any ideas on how to fix this?

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On a different note, got an award from newmumontheblock a few days ago. And thank god you posted it in my comments to come and collect it, coz with my blogroll acting the way I just described, I would never have known that you have it posted out there for me to collect :-)

Thanks a lot newmum! I write so little compared to other moms out there in the blogosphere so to get noticed and praised by some of you readers makes each such award so much more precious to me!

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Read this article a few days ago on TOI and was so inspired by it coz it says almost what I have always wanted to do for so long. I am now very tempted to go invest in a sewing machine and do some itsy bitsy tailoring myself by reusing some very good dupattas and stuff I have stashed away. I remember making dresses for my doll when I was a kiddo and do so much more in the arts and crafts area - thanks to my wonderful mom who got me interested in it. I want to pass on the same gene to my daughter as well so one of these days will definitely restart in that area if possible :-) Do give this article a read and let me know what other ideas come to your mind. I for one have a bag for my tailor ready to cut short some long kurtas I have from salwar suits stiched over 5 years ago. Times change so quickly na - then it used to be all about wearing long kurtas and now it is back to short kurtis and tights (Mumtaz style all over again). I never used to care for all these fashion changing cycles until I was in the US coz I was all about jeans and trousers then. But now, being in India, and especially working in India makes me want to not stand out in the crowd you know what I mean? I'll stick like a sore thumb if I wear all those age old long salwar suits to work now :-) Not that I am comfortable wearing salwar suits to work anyway coz have never done that in the last 11 years of my work life...was always wearing trousers or skirts or something non-Indian. But I do need to do something with all those suits sitting in my wardrobe you know! So dear readers, do give that article a read and send more ideas my way. Would love to hear abt your creative sides. Or you can also tell me where to shop for corporate wear here in Bangalore. I am still wearing clothes I owned from the US but sooner or later will need to buy Indian na :-)

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Just read this post by Preeti and can soooo empathize with her (having gone through similar maid related nightmares myself as of late). Just thinking of it makes me exhausted, forget about typing all of it. All I can say is - nothing is permanent and especially NOT in the childcare department! The poor child has to go through so many changes in such an early age, thankfully they are so adaptable or else we, our lives, our happiness, careers, everything would go for such a toss! We are on to our third maid in the last 5 months (for babysitting) and that too after giving daycare an honest try. Sigh! Does this ever settle down?

My First Tag!

2010-05-19T16:38:00.001+05:30

Yup - have had my first blogging award and now my first tag ever from NewMumOntheBlock! Now I feel like I truly belong to the blogging world...yay! So here I go telling the world about 7 random things about myself...those interested in listening do read on...others - sorry to subject you to such random nonsense about me :-)

First, the rules:

1. You have to tag seven people

2. You have to link their pages in your tag post

3. You have to leave a comment in their comments section telling them they've been tagged.

4. You have to say who tagged you.

I am not fond of chocolates or ice-creams. And every single time I mention that to anyone, I hear a huge gasp and it never fails to amuse me. But that's the truth...somehow I always wonder what is it about chocolate that makes the world melt. I do like cold drinks (mostly non healthy sodas like Thumbsup) and desserts such as gulab jamuns and besan laddus though.

I have always longed for a perfect hair cut for myself. I sigh when I see others walking with such perfect looking haircuts and I go with pictures to each recommended salon/stylist explaining what I want. But yet I end up with something not even close to what I imagined and always end up wondering if there is anything that can be done with boring straight hair.

Having a child has not only changed everything in my life but also changed me as a person. It just has made me look at the world with a new pair of eyes, think with an entirely new perspective and has made me develop a new found respect for so many types of people and situations now that it is unimaginable.

I feel like I am a mix of an extrovert as well as an introvert as a person. I am generally wary of walking into a room full of strangers and striking captivating conversations but on the other hand, am absolutely comfortable in reaching out to strangers one on one if needed and connecting to them. Wierd right?

I like the idea of being creative :-) I mean I think I am a little creative in life (thanks to my mom who taught me tonnes of things such as fabric painting, nib painting, embroidery, knitting etc. and who inculcated all this interest in me) but given our day to day lives, I hardly find time or the drive to keep it alive. Hence my statement - I like the 'idea' of being creative. I have a whole storage shelf full of 'arts and crafts' stuff to inspire me but when I really sit down to doing it, I run out of ideas :( I still try...and there are good phases now and then in the hobby area but very few and far between (especially after having a child).

I love Shahrukh Khan. Loved him since his good old days of TV shows like Fauji, Circus and then when he came to movies like Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa and especially his bestest of the best - DDLJ. I remember going to the theater three times to watch DDLJ in my college days. That itself is a huuuuuge deal for me since I am not much of a movie person and haven't been to the theater for over 2 years now.

I love rain (and rainy weather). Most people find days when it is cloudy, windy or rainy depressing. But I just love that climate - has a very romantic appeal to me. This morning was one such really romantic weather type day. I came to office with a smile on my face full of energy and ideas. While some people preferred to stay in their blankets and cuddle up in the coziness just a little longer, I was buzzing with energy and happiness.

There you go! I am probably so horribly late at doing this tag but better late than never right? My next task is to tag 7 other bloggers with this tag but my problem is I don't even know if I know 7 bloggers that well. Anyways guys - if you haven't done this tag already, pls feel free to take it up - Mindful Meanderer, Priyanka, Preeti, Nithya, Jyoti, HVP, Chitra.

My baby is growing up

2010-04-16T23:00:00.001+05:30

Since I have become so random in recording N's milestones after she turned 2, I thought I should atleast capture some of the really cute things going on in her world these days:

1). Baby Language

She has been singing nursery rhymes since she was almost 2 years of age. Those were the times when she had some really cute 'baby' pronunciations when she sang. For example:

'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' was sung as

'Chinkau Chinkau Little Chtar'

Now that she is 2yrs 7 months, I can see so much of that baby language fading away. Part of me feels good that she is growing but a bigger part of me really feels sad that my little baby is growing into a big girl now. She will no longer be only mommy's little baby anymore :( Infact, now a days when I sing Chinkau Chinkau, she corrects me to say 'No mamma - Tinkual Tinkual Little Star'! Feel so good that she is still not there yet and still has such cute ways to pronounce certain words. Like when she was a little younger, crocodile was pronounced as cocokiiiile. But now when I say cocokile, she corrects me to say 'No No - cocodile'. Also when she had just learnt her colors (which I don't honestly remember was how long ago), when asked which color a certain object was, she used to say 'blue colors' pronouncing 'colors' as 'colorchh'. Every color ended with 'colors'. Now no more :( When asked which color is this, all she says is 'blue', or 'red' or whatever color. Lost the cute chubby way of saying 'colorchh'.

2). Artist in the Growing?

The little girl has developed a sudden love towards drawing. Give her a pen and a paper or even better - a DoodlePro and she is seen all settled happily on the floor for a long time drawing away either narrating stories while drawing or constantly trying to perfect something she is learning to draw. So far she had been doodling away mostly drawing circles of different sizes and scribbling in general. But the other day, I actually saw her attempting to draw what looked like a fish. So me and hubby got interested and encouraged her, even drew one up to show her how to draw it and immediately she copied our strokes and managed drawing her first fish! We got sooooo excited that she is now trying to intentionally imitate strokes and actually draw something by either copying our strokes or using her imagination! I even got up and clicked a few pics from my phone to record the moment. Since then she has gone on to learn drawing what she calls 'Dora's eyes' (which is really a pair of eyes), a smiley face and today when she drew up a smiley face on the DoodlePro and I asked her where is smiley's hair, she actually drew up his hair on the head!!! She does know how to translate her visuals into sketches now coz later I saw her draw a dot on the smiley's forehead and say 'this is his kumkum ok?' (she refers to bindi as kumkum).

3). Picking up a new language

Hindi. So far even though we spoke Hindi, English and Konkani at home, she had picked up only English and used only that language in all her communication with everyone. Lately though, thanks to our new maid who spends most of her day with N and talks to her in Hindi, N has started conversing in Hindi pretty well. I had been singing Hindi and English rhymes to her but she had not really picked up the Hindi ones as much. But now she sings 'Machhli Jal ki Rani Hai' to perfection and with actions!

4). Clothes and accessories

The saga about being determined to pick her own clothes continues as I had already talked about previously here. And not just once or twice, there are days when she wants to change what she is wearing almost 4 times a day. Oh and she has her favorites that she can live in day after day after day. One of them (her orange shirt and orange chhota (i.e. half) pant) is so battered that I actually hid it away and the poor thing has been asking for it every single day. I have tried different ways of convincing her that I gave it away to a small baby or a pigeon took it away but my heart breaks when she says 'I am very sad...I want my orange shirt and orange chhota pant' :( I am still trying to convince her that remember mommy gave it away to the baby? We will ask your nani to bring a new orange shirt and orange pant for you. Jeez! And the demand for bangles and shoes is also never ending. The thing that she should be into, but is not, is doing up her hair. She refuses anything in her hair - no clips or rubber-bands or hair bands or any hair accessories for her.

5). Office ka kaam (Meaning: Office Work)

She is finally getting used to seeing mommy going to office now or doing 'office ka kaam' from home. So when I don't work on my laptop at the home office and am doing it from the couch at times, she comes and asks me why I am not doing it from the office ka table. Or why am I not talking on the phone using the headset! She even pretends at times to work away on my laptop and says 'shh..don't disturb me. I am in a meeting' or 'I am doing office ka kaam like mamma'.

6). Sudden love for her soft toys and Dora - the doll

As long as her tummy is full, she is not really longing for or clinging to mamma these days. If she is not doodling or drawing on her DoodlePro, I see her spending a long time doing pretend play with her soft toys and Dora the doll. She talks to them just as I talk to her, puts them to sleep, does oil massage to them, takes them to the park and what not. Infact tonight was the first night ever that she actually took her Krishna soft toy to bed! Now you have to remember that she has never been into any kind of a lovey toy and prefers sucking her thumb or holding my hair while going to sleep. But today she actually hugged her friend Krishna tightly and even took my hand away from her waist. After a while she probably felt bad for me and said 'Are you falling down? Come' and hugged me with one hand and Krishna with the other and just fell asleep like that. My sweet sweet little angel - knock on wood! Oh and prior to all this, she had put her Dora doll to sleep by asking her 'Are you feeling cold? Come I will give you a blanket' and she nicely wrapped up the little doll in one of her blankets and put her to sleep on the living room floor. Oh and please note - she has played with her doll so much lately that the legs have been seperated and now it is just the upper part of her body that she carries around town these days :-) She carries Dora the doll to the park in the evenings so that when a friend of hers asks her whether she can share the swing, our smart little N has an answer ready - that she is already sharing the swing with Dora!!!

7). Blocks and her imagination

She has suddenly started taking interest in blocks and builds things based on what she sees around her or what she imagines. Making a tower or a house is become a pretty common sight but today she actually used a white, red and blue block, covered it with another blue block, topped it with a red block for the light and called it her ambulance! She somehow recollects (god knows from where) that an ambulance has only red, white and blue colors and a red light on top. Interesting stuff ain't it? :-)

Graduation Day at School

2010-04-07T16:50:00.003+05:30

I can't believe that I haven't had time to write about little N's first stage performance and the proud mamma moment when my little one "graduated" from her pre-nursery class (her first playschool that is). March 13, 2010 was an emotional day for us as we watched our little one perform on stage (to the "bits of paper" nursery rhyme) for the first time in her life and then actually doing the convocation walk to accept her degree certificate for her first year of school.

In my mind it was just a playschool that she went to all this while and I had enrolled her there mostly for her to socialize and interact with kids her age and have a good time. But when they actually graduate like this, our hearts well up with joy and pride reliving how much she and we have gone through to get her this far. I remember those early unsure days when I just admitted her there - she was just 1 year 9 months when she started and I used to attend with her for the entire 3 hours each day to get her to adjust and like the place. This went on for almost 3 weeks until we finally cut the chord and let her be by herself. Ofcourse she cried, ofcourse she wanted mamma but she settled down eventually and realized that the teachers there are not going to bite her nor are the other kids :-) Infact after a few months, she actually looked forward to go to her 'Meera auntie' and 'Mohini auntie' and 'Smita auntie' and happily used to recite every nursery rhyme or song or prayer they sang at school. The fact that I could completely trust these ladies who ran this place almost like a second home for kids was a huge step in my life as a mom too. I could finally trust my child with someone other than family and look forward to having 3 hours to my disposal doing 'non child' stuff :-) Not to mention the wonderful changes we saw in our little one after settling down there. She being a shy kinds suddenly opened up beautifully and her vocabulary improved amazingly as she picked up English quite fast! Now suddenly all she knew was English (instead of Hindi or Konkani that we speak at home).

In any case, I think re-living the last year and going through all the stuff me and little N have gone through just brought out tears in my eyes when I saw her graduating from this foundational year in her life. I am sure we will thank Meera and Mohini auntie for years to come for making the first year of N's school life such a wonderful experience! As they say in their school - "God bless mummy, god bless daddy, god bless teacher, god bless me!!!"

First Blogging Award!

2010-03-07T18:41:00.001+05:30

Yayy...participated in the first blogging contest ever and won my first blogging award too. Thanks to Shruti of Mindful Meanderings whose creativity constantly inspires me to try and do more. Here's what she passed along

Which ofcourse means I'd want to pass it on to all of you readers too. So here's to all of you readers and contributors who have made this new hobby of mine (blogging) such a pleasure.

Baby Love

2010-02-17T15:37:00.005+05:30

Just can't get these words out of my head today. My heart is gushing with so much love for my dear little baby today that I don't have the words to describe it. These are the only words that come close. So here's to my baby...the one who came in my life and filled me with this ocean of love and taught me sooooo much more than I ever knew in the past 30 years of living it myself...

You fill up my senses...

Like a night in a forest,

Like the mountains in springtime,

Like a walk in the rain....

Like a storm in the desert,

Like a sleepy blue ocean.

You fill up my senses...

Come fill me again!

'Twas a huge milestone for my little one yesterday - she went to a daycare for the first time yesterday (Feb 16, 2010). And after all the knowledge of how it is so good for them and stuff, how it will teach them to be independent, eat by themselves, etc. - the day you actually leave your child in the daycare for the first time and walk away, I tell you...it hurts like never before...almost like you left your soul behind. I could not stop crying for the entire 1.5 hours that she was there and just kept visualizing her cry for mommy when I was stepping out. She was sitting in a ball pit quietly playing with a child when I went to pick her up but I was the one who had it worse...the one who could just not forgive herself for putting her child through this. God!!! Why does baby love have to be sooooooo strong! Why does it have to be so hard? Why does it feel like a part of my heart is torn away each time I see a tear shed by her?

Sigh...I know it gets easier. Today already was. She wanted to be fed lunch by me (like yesterday) and then an hour later, let me go without a tear. And when I came back to pick her up, saw her eating her raisins from her snack box in the room with everyone else. Will never forget how she ran to me saying "I ate chhota kishmish and biiiiiiiiig kishmish". God bless her and let me NOT jinx myself or her by writing about it. Touchwood. Kalatikka. So I was saying I know it gets easier, but after being the only constant rock in her life for the past 2.5 years, after being with her day in and day out for the past 1.5 years, after her trusting me more than anyone else who loves her (including her papa), separation does get harder than ever. It probably would have not been this hard if I had not given up the job and stayed at home. The separation for the job hours would have continued matter-of-factly instead of this huge deal that it now seems. The mommy-baby love is stronger than most forms of love is what I am beginning to learn...and to let the baby think even for a moment that this person whom I trust blindly, is leaving me all alone to fend for myself in this big bag world - is NOT a good feeling to deal with. Yesterday I cried thinking that the little one will never trust me again when I told her that I'm coming in 5 minutes and then disappeared for an hour. (But then today I did not lie anymore...told her I am going to office and will come back and get her. She said ok and was happy to say goodbye as long as the teacher gave her a chocolate :-)). Also then some of my friends put some sense in my baby-love struck brain that this is what we do for getting them used to school as well right? Then this is no different - it will be good for them in the long run. So don't kill yourselves over it. Sigh - so much easier said than done :(

Girls will be girls!

2010-02-13T16:50:00.003+05:30

My little baby girl is not even 2.5 years old and she has already started demonstrating such girliness that I just had to write about it. Adorable girly stuff she has started doing lately:

Picking her own clothes from her cupboard. She insists we carry her to raise her up to the top shelf in her cupboard so that she can look at all her clothes and decide what she wants to wear today! Gosh - she even knows the difference between her 'ghar ka shirt' and 'bahar ka shirt', 'ghar ka pant' and 'bahar ka pant' (clothes to be worn at home v/s clothes to be worn when you go out). I was shocked the first time she started doing this but now she does it consistently - does not wear anything unless she has picked it out herself. Sometimes goes through 2 or 3 changes until she is satisfied with what she has worn :-)))

She has always loved dancing when there is music but these days observes every song on TV while she is busy moving to the music AND IMITATES each step she sees in the song!!! I am sure she has taken after me here...I used to dance to my heart's content in front of the radio when I was around 2 holding my frock or a particular red color maxi I remember I had. So her dancing is not something I'm surprised with...it is her imitating the steps that amazes me. I have seen 7 or 8 year old girls do it but one who is barely 2.5? BTW you do know what this means right...that we struggle to find the remote to change channels every time there is an item number going on!!! And sure enough she hates it if you change the song she was so busy dancing on :-)

She is so much into shoes and more than shoes, chappals that it is amazing. We bought her first pair of blue flip-flops in Dec. when she was 2 yrs and 4 months and she did not want to take them off 24/7. Since then we have opened another pretty pair of pink flip flops that my friend G had sent from the US and oh how she adores them. She refuses to step out of her bed without them...refuses to keep them back in the shoe rack...wakes up and the first thing she asks us is "where is my pink color chappal with pretty pretty stone?" And due to this, she has now learnt the difference between shoes, sandals and chappals. And also has her own 'ghar ka chappal' and 'bahar ka sandal'. She even notices what every other child her age wears and if she likes their flip-flops - she insists she wants them NOW! Even in winter, she refuses to wear socks anymore so that she can walk around in her pretty pretty pink color chappal ! Thanks G :-) if you are reading this! (Am posting a pic of hers posing in the pink chappal she loves)

She compliments us on what we wear and even picks out our clothes and shoes sometimes. I have noticed sometimes when I change clothes, she goes "wow mama you wore a pink color dress. You are looking so nice in the new new pink color dress!" Or when we are going out she will bring my shoes and say "mama wear your bahar ka shoes like me". And god only save me if I decide to wear a chappal while she is wearing shoes! Or if I decide to wear shoes if she is wearing chappal! Same goes for Papa too! When papa is done with his morning shower, sometimes she stands in front of his cupboard and tells him what color shirt he should wear. If he wears something she picks, she compliments him with a "Nice". Oh and when I change out of my night clothes to drop her to school, she insists she wants to wear the exact same color dress as mama! Oh god - dressing her up is a huge project these days - and she is not even into jewelery or makeup yet. I have not even pierced the little child's ears yet...don't even want to think what will happen then :-)

Whatever it is...I find all of this sooooo cute and endearing. It is amazing to see how much they observe and absorb at such a young age. I can tell her stories about how her friends tie a rubber band and convince her to tie her hair at times too. That is also how she started wearing the only piece of ornament she wears - her two silver bangles. Only coz a few of her friends and a cousin wears them :-)

Kids can be soooo understanding

2010-02-08T17:40:00.005+05:30

Ever since I posted my last entry on this blog ranting about how difficult it was to get N settled with her new nanny, things have actually taken a turn to be much much better. Touchwood! Touchwood! Touchwood (please do not jinx me or N on this ever!). I have realized that once again my child has taught me to be patient and not expect miracles in a day. Yet at the same time, she has made me realize that they can be very mature, understanding and responsible if that is what life demands out of them. I needed her to co-operate, to stop making mommy feel so bad accepting a full time job (even though it is for mommy's sake right now) and to please let someone else take mommy's place for a few hours every day while I go out and satisfy the other side of me as a person - the side other than loving being a mom...the side that wants to satisfy the itch of having a great career knowing that staying at home and spending great quality time with my little one, although has been a lot of fun, I will never be able to forgive myself if I do not atleast try doing other things I want to do in life as well. So after I realized that maybe N was missing having mommy all to herself and was a little angry at pushing her towards the nanny a little bit now and then, I backed off and gave her all the love and mommy time she wanted for a week. Plus she had her aabu (grandpa) visiting that week too so she loved all the time and attention from him as well. She happily trotted to school every morning with him and even came back home with him. While all these months she has never gone to school with anyone else but mommy. So after the one week of a reset and providing her all the mommy time she needs and having the nanny around at home as well, she probably felt secure enough to venture towards her and start playing happily with her. I could hear squeals of delight when the nanny entertained her in her silly games and used to thank god for those moments of happiness seeing them bonding together.

Then one night a few days before N's grandpa was leaving, I had a heart-to-heart conversation with her. BTW nights are the best times to have a good talk to her...she is actually listening and most times she also tells me a lot about her day at school and other things at night when I am putting her to sleep. So here's bits and pieces of how our conversation went that night:

Me: N, when papa goes to office, do you cry?

N: No.

Me: So when mommy goes to office, will you cry?

N: No. I will not cry when mommy goes to office.

N: And I will not cry when aabu goes to Bombay. (this part surprised me and my hubby as we never expected her to even realize that her grandpa is not here for good and that he is only visiting. This sentence came totallly unprompted as we had not even planned his return travel yet...but she just knew he'd leave some day to go back to his home in Bombay!)

Me: (Hugging and kissing her tightly) Good girl N. I will come back from office and play with you. Will you please come home from school with D auntie (her nanny) and eat mum mum (lunch) with her?

N: Yes.

And volla! Since then, she has actually done as she promised. The day after her grandpa left, I walked her to school and while saying goodbye, told her that mommy will go to office and would she not cry and go home with D auntie and eat mum mum (lunch) and do ta ta (sleep)? She nodded her yes. And with a heavy heart I left home around the time she was supposed to come home and stayed outdoors for 3 hours. When I got back I found her playing with the nanny. She saw me enter, squealed with delight, jumped on me and made me fall, hugged me so tight and said "Mommy you came back from office? I did not cry"!!! Now how can this not make me melt down to the floor!!!??? So I spent the rest of my day all in love with the wonderfully co-operative child. And followed the same 'going to office' routine the rest of the week. The second day I found her sleeping when I got home. The third day I found her actually done with the nap and actually starting to drink her evening milk with the nanny. And each time she greeted me with such joy that it just made my heart melt even more. But I secretly thanked god for one good step ahead each day and realized that my child just needed reassurance that mommy wasn't going away leaving her with the nanny. Thank god for miracles like these. It is just the moments when she hugs me tight and says things like "Thank you for coming back from office" that make me re-think if I am really doing the right thing...

Oh well...I guess I wouldn't know until I actually try it out once. I will give it my best shot and then decide if this really is for me anymore or are my days of having an actual career (not just a job) are over for a long long while now.

N and her new ways (with the new Nanny)

2010-01-20T17:02:00.010+05:30

Hellllllllllp! Just when I thought I am beginning to get a good handle on how to raise my child...and just when I started thinking this is a piece of cake...let's have another one - she has decided to test my patience to the limits. I shudder to think of how I lose it at times and wonder if her own mom can get so worked up...what will the nanny do when I am away at work? Ugh!!! Gives me the chills. The child of mine is almost 2yrs 5 months now and has decided to be her most difficult self these days. Dunno if that is just the terrible twos now kicking in or the slight lifestyle change where I am trying to detach her from me and get her used to a nanny. Whatever it is - I seriously need your input.

She refuses to go for a bath on most days, refuses to go pee even when it is past 4 hours and refuses to go for a nap at her usual time. Like today she finally went for her nap at 5pm in the evening! Her normal time used to be 2pm on most days and latest by 3:30pm. She used to wake up around 5 or 5:30, drink her milk and go down to the park in the evenings. These days her entire schedule is out for a toss. Also these days she's going through a viral bug where she is coughing and has a runny nose. Doc advises steaming but she refuses to do even that. Its scary to see my shy and timid child turn into this 'shouting monster' who shouts NO when being told to do steaming, or go for a bath or take her nap even. Ooohhh please please help! What do I do when my patience has reached its limits??? :( I do not believe in spanking...her only punishment is a time-out in the balcony.

BTW I do believe part of it is coz she is getting a lot of attention and love from this new nanny whom she adores as long as they are playing. But the moment the nanny tries her to get to eat or bathe, lil N snaps back at her and either comes to me wailing or just becomes very stubborn. I wonder how the nanny will deal with N if I am away full time at work.

Edited to Add: The next morning was worse with me waking up ill (with a flu) and having to send her to school with the nanny. I think both she and I broke down at this point - she believing that mommy has totally abandoned her and I seeing her heart break so badly. So we both broke down and cried to our heart's content. Surprisingly though, things got much better after that. I resolved to be there for her a little longer and stop pushing her so hard. She too reciprocated the love and is behaving like her well mannered self all over again. Whew! Thank God it is a new day and things have come back to normal in our household. After speaking to a few friends who have been through this ordeal, they have asked me to give her a week and go gradually. She will get used to not having mommy 24 x 7 and let the nanny do things for her eventually. So I will give it a more patient and genuine try now and try not to lose my patience. I think my friend SBJ (read comments) hit the nail on the head - the biggest thing I should always keep in mind when I am impatient with N is...how would I like the nanny to deal with a similar situation when I am away.

In any case, thank god I can see much more clearly now the rain is gone...la la la :-) Sigh...I think it was just a bad Wednesday & Thursday filled with lots of 'Mama Guilt' ! Thanks dear friends for all your words of wisdom. And I love you my lil N...you have taught me so much in such a short time. Please know that I will be there for you ALWAYS as long as I am alive...and if possible even after that.

This happens only in India!

2010-01-12T17:24:00.005+05:30

A holiday declared for most playschools and even some high schools on Friday for what? Coz of the solar eclipse from 11am to 3pm!!! I mean what are the working parents supposed to do if they don't have a nanny or parents at home? Are they also supposed to take off from work coz of the eclipse!!!??? Not that I am working right now but what if I did? Just makes me wanna smile and hum the tune "this happens only in India" :-)

Moving On to the New Year

2010-01-08T15:20:00.005+05:30

Just a random post to pour out all that I have been feeling lately...

Ever since I got back home to Bangalore after a month long trip from my brother's wedding, things seem quite changed with most of my friends in town. Seems like everyone has moved on to pursue things in life that they always wanted to. Its all for their good ofcourse but it just seems like so much has hapenned in the one month I was away. One of my friends & neighbor bought a new home (which ofcourse means she will be moving away soon), two of my friends got pregnant with a second one (and sadly both of them lost the babies too), one of them got out and got a job (which means she is less available during the day) and another one is looking to pursue some kind of an educational course to get back to work. This gave me lots of inspiration and the push I needed to get out in the job market myself. Just seems like all of us who have been at home during the transitional period to settle down in Bangalore have now decided to move on.
So I started 2010 with a resolution that this is the year I will take the next big step in my life - either have a second kid or buy a home for ourselves or get back to my career that I gave up almost a year ago (since we moved back from the US). So that is my resolution - to move on to the next step in life and get all the support structure needed around me to support this move.
Hence I am currently in the market for a full time cook cum nanny for my kiddo. Just like I had in the US. And I tell you it is hard...very hard to find someone you can trust your child and your home to. I am trying out different maids almost every other day. I am also evaluating day-cares as another option but am a little hesitant sending little N to one at this stage. Knowing her, we as parents believe she will be most comfortable at her own home. I really hope and pray I find someone as trustworthy as I had in the US. How I wish I could call that nanny over to India and have her live with us! If you don't know who I am talking about, see here and here.
My plan is to settle little N down with either a nanny or a day-care and get back to work in the next month or so. Any tips or ideas anyone? How have you stepped out of home with a little one around? I mean I had gone back to work right after she turned 3 months but that was in the US and that too once I found a nanny I could trust. I think it is easier to trust someone there than in India coz of the laws and traceability system there. The quality of maids I am finding here is not comparable to what I had there and the Montessori schools I like do not have on-campus day-cares here. So what did you mommies who moved back to India do? What if I get a job I really like but it requires some travel? And worse - what if they require travel abroad (even if it is once or twice a year)? What do you guys do then?

Before Amnesia Sets In - Part 2

2009-12-23T00:30:00.001+05:30

I had written a post earlier on a few of the most frequently asked questions regarding baby care. Wanted to continue with the same thought process before I forget all these precious minute details again.

Weaning off the Bottle

I wanted to pen down one of the biggest accomplishments me and my little brat have made recently. We had been away to my in-laws and then my parents place over the last month for my bro's wedding. So I took this opportunity to turn my gradual bottle weaning process into an accelerated one coz anyways my target was to wean her off the bottle completely before the wedding. And although it was tough initially seeing the poor baby ask for the bottle time and again and being cranky without it, I am proud to announce that she has finally changed her ways and has been successfully weaned off the Dr. Brown's bottles! Whew!

I must say though that in many ways I was actually happy with her milk intake through the bottle. She drank more than 3 bottles at times (6-7 ounces each). Now with a cup, it has come down to one good full cup in a day and maybe a sip or two here and there. Quite a drastic drop from what she used to take earlier. I am trying though to make it up with other calcium rich foods like cheese, yogurt, milk in her cereal etc. And I do see that she is eating better now that her tummy does not get full with milk alone. But the eating part could just be coz she is growing up and needs more anyway. Oh well...us moms can't stop worrying about what kiddos eat I guess. But atleast this is one big milestone that little N has finally accomplished after me really wondering if she's gonna continue with the bottles forever :-)

So here's how we did it. I tried the gradual process for a month or so before I left town. Used to give her milk from a cup at nights and got her used to falling asleep without a bottle in the bed. Once she got a little used to that process, I stopped bottles during the day as well. The only one she got was when she woke up in the morning and sometimes after her afternoon nap as well. Coz for the longest time she needed that as a comfort factor and as a tummy filler to wake up happy. If she didn't get that she would be really cranky and would not stop sucking on her thumb. So when she was fully awake, she had no issues drinking from a straw cup or a normal cup. There were many a nights when she did not drink enough from a cup and so did not sleep well (which obviously meant mommy and daddy did not sleep well either). But I did not give into a bottle feed at night to make sure she gets the message that she should drink sufficiently from the cup before turning in at night so that she does not get hungry at night again. In any case, one fine day when she had finished her evening bottle on the couch, she was fiddling with it and turned the nipple upside down and said "oh it broke". I grabbed this opportunity with both hands and emphasized again and again how she broke the bottle and how she cannot have milk in the bottle anymore. This logic worked for all her day and night milk intake except for the first bottle in the morning. And I was not in ready to take on that battle yet so quietly sneaked it into her while her eyes were closed anyways. The day we were leaving Bangalore though (Nov. 18th) she opened her eyes during the early morning feed and said "the bottle is fixed now!". And I was shocked! My hubby said its time we take this morning bottle away too. So travelling to Bombay was the best opportunity to do that. Once there, I told her the bottle was broken and so we left it at our Bangalore home. She did not like it a bit and cried for it for 2 days. I just did not give in and dealt with a mostly cranky child there. The 3rd day we went to meet one of my friends who has 2 kids, the younger of whom (baby A) was a year old and obviously drank from a bottle. My little N saw that baby drink from exactly the same Dr. Brown bottle and said "I want bottle se duddu". It ached my heart to see her yearn for it like that. So when we got home, I gave in and let her have her bottle again. You should have seen the happiness in that poor child. She was so thrilled after she had her heart's content. But I was again in a fix as to how to tell her it was a one time thing. So we told her that was baby A's bottle and after you had it, we returned it to baby A. Somehow she bought this story and was ok not having a bottle after that again. She cutely kept repeating "A is a chhota baby na, that's why she has bottle se duddu. I am a big girl so I am not sucking bot and saying bottle se duddu" (bot = thumb in konkani). Awww...what a samajhdar little kiddo.

We left for my parents place the next day and changing towns really helped. I could tell her how we left baby A behind and how it was her bottle. So now N will have cup se duddu. And I had to distract her with lots of stories, books, Dora on TV or watching kids play in the building's lobby - even late at nights before bed. But all that hard work paid off and little N finally took to drinking from a cup. So the last bottle she had was on Nov. 20 when she was almost 2 years and 3 months. Whew! I must say making them drink milk from a cup is more labor for us moms. And inspite of all that hardwork on our part, they don't drink as much as they used to anyway. So I really wonder whether it is worth all the hassle. I mean I had relatives visiting us during the wedding who said our kids had bottles till they were 5 years old. They didn't see it is a big deal that a 2 year old was still taken to a bottle. Infact they told me I weaned her off quite early. Now I am not sure if the tried and tested old ways are correct of the pediatrician's warnings of bottles being unhygienic as they have more crevices to clean. Oh well...whatever it is...I have seen it is easier to change habits sooner than later. So having to do this when she was 4 or 5 would have been far tougher I think.

My next project with her now is teaching her how to eat her meals by herself and getting her out of the thumb sucking habit. Efforts are still on and I will surely do a post once we achieve complete success. So stay tuned :-)

Potty Training

I wrote a post earlier on how we started little N's potty training at 18 months and were mostly done in a month or so. For details, please go to the post here and read from 4th paragraph onwards - "the other milestone I had planned for her at this age was to start her potty training...."

Settling down in her First School

Again, just creating a list of all these milestones here for a quick reference. I had written about how we got her to settle down in her first school ever and learn to stay away from mommy/daddy for a bit. That is always a worry for parents and by the time we get around to doing it again for the second kiddo, we tend to forget the details of how the first one did it. So read the post about it here.

Blogging has been slow lately...

2009-12-17T16:12:00.003+05:30

since I was away the entire past month for my brother's wedding. Just got back home the day before yesterday in time for our 5th wedding anniversary yesterday. But obviously couldn't do much in terms of celebration since we were too drained out from all the wedding festivities and travel. Will be back to the blogging world soon I'm sure. Currently there has been so much going on but I think I am also facing a writer's block...dunno where and what to start writing about :-)

Mamma AND Papa

2009-11-04T00:18:00.006+05:30

"Kitta loves Mamma AND Papa" is her latest and most endearing sentence these days. It started when Papa (my hubby) had to go out of town for a couple of days last week. He left for Pune on Wednesday and got back on Friday night. Little N was ok while he was gone coz I had explained to her that he is gone on an aeroplane to Poona. She asked for him atleast once a day but when I asked her where he is, she promptly replied "Papa gone to office and aeroplane to Poona". All was well until he finally returned on Friday night. She was just about to fall asleep after cuddling with mommy for hours and listening to a bunch of stories. But as soon as she saw Papa at the door, she was so thrilled! She had fun for the next hour playing on the bed with mommy and daddy. And amidst all that fun, we heard her say for the first time "Kitta loves Mamma and Papa"!!! (She calls herself Kitta). And then she said..."I will do ta-ta (means sleep) on the bed and look at Mamma and Papa".

What a delight to these ears. I mean these are emotions straight from her heart...no one has taught her how to say this...isn't it amazing that she has finally reached the age where she can connect words to actually articulate what she is truly feeling!? Hearing such words from my child really reinforces something that I already believe in - that a child does need both the parents. One can never replace the other. Its not that she was unhappy with me for these 2 days but the joy in her voice and on her face when she found both of us together was just amazing.

Darling Kitta, Mamma and Papa also love you! Lots and lots and looooots...

Of school admissions and such

2009-10-21T22:05:00.001+05:30

Wow what a morning we had - me and my child - I tell ya! Totally filmy. Started with me learning last night that one of the popular schools in our area (NPS) is giving out admission forms for Montessori and LKG starting today. And as you've read in my previous post how I've learnt that you really have to know where you want to send your child even before h/she turns 2 so that you can start the entire process in time. Gosh - little did I know what's in store for me this morning.

So first of all, some background on my rationale here. I was always of the opinion that I am not too crazy about these bigger schools yet coz my daughter is really too little right now. And even in June of next year she'll only just be 2 yrs 9 months. So still a little early for me to start worrying about her admission to LKG. The only reason I would even think of applying to big schools like NPS would be coz they have a Montessori stream of education where they take kids who turn 3 in June (give or take a few months). This way the kid gets a Montessori education and automatically goes to the 1st grade from there. So not only does the kid get the full benefit of the Montessori system for 3 years but the double benefit is that the parents do not have to worry about admissions to a bigger school again after their Montessori education is up. That was going to be the only reason that would make me even turn my head towards big schools like NPS. But again, in my mind, the school had to be very close to where we live and it had to have a warm and fuzzy feel for my kid. So when I came across the NPS HSR website last night and saw they were giving out forms starting today, I called one of my other friends who is also in the same boat as me. We both decided to drop our little ones to their playschool the next morning and then co-ordinate collecting forms from the 2 schools - NPS HSR and NPS Koramangala. Sounds simple so far right? Little did I know how huge a deal it would be for everyone that there would be a queue for miles and miles for such things. I had decided that I'll not get worked up like other parents, and coolly walk into one school and stand in line. If I get the form till 11:30 great, if not, I will leave the line, pick up N from school at 12:15, come home and try the next day. That was my plan since the start.

But reality had something else in store for me. Here's what transpired this morning. After an early start in the morning and several co-ordinating phone calls later I learn that my friend's dad has already gone to NPS HSR to collect forms for her daughter T. So reshuffling of plans hapenned amidst all the craziness of getting the little ones ready for school. I finally got out of the house, dropped N to school at 9:45am and co-ordinated with this other friend A who offered to give me a ride to the school. Reached NPS HSR at 10 and almost fell off my feet on seeing how long the queue was!!! I was almost ready to turn around and leave coz there was no way I would get even near the school gate till 11:30. And they were only giving out forms from 9-11am according to their website. Yet I tentatively dragged my feet towards the end of the spiral never ending queue and asked the lady at the tail end of the queue if this was the line for admission forms. As she turns her head towards me we both exclaim! She turns out to be my classmate from school (we'll call her S) whom I haven't met since I left school 15 years ago! Now isn't that really just like out of the movies! I said to her if this was one of my ex-boyfriends I would be meeting like this, it would be really really filmi! :-D Oh well...so we start excitedly catching up on every little detail...which hugely helped the 2 hours go by much sooner than it seemed. All the while we just couldn't get over the way met. Turns out she does not live too far from our place and has bought a new place even closer to ours now. I again digress. Back to the 'eventful morning details'. So I have most of my neighbors/friends calling me to give me real-time updates from the queue at the other school (NPS Koramangala) and such almost every 15 minutes. When the clock struck 11:30, we were in a panic mode coz we weren't too far away from the office in the queue but weren't so close that we can get the form and leave in the next 5 minutes to pick up our kids. We kept staring at the clock and at the queue. Finally both S and I made a call and asked our friends to pick up our kids from playschool. Now I've never done this before and I could not stop imagining N's little face wrinkled up in tears on not seeing mommy after school. I have seen it happen to other kids when their mommies were running late and felt terrible for that one minute of panic and sorrow the little ones find themselves in. But this call had to be made coz just the next 5-10 minutes of patience would get us those much coveted forms or else we'd have to repeat this all over again the next day for the same school and the day after for the other branch (NPS Koramangala). My friends convinced me saying she will be not be in strangers' hands...atleast she is with friends whom she knows pretty well. So she will get over it pretty quickly and will be fine if they put on Dora and prop her in front of the TV. And I would be with her in a matter of minutes anyways. S even said that there is always a first time like this...they'll have to learn to survive such things or else we'll never be able to go back to work! I kind of agreed with this thinking but obviously us moms are always full of guilt. So it killed me to stand there...but I did. I finally grabbed the form at 12:15, rushed out with S and reached home by 12:30. Went to my neighbor's to pick up N and found her in the lap of neighbor's kiddo's grandmom propped in front of Dora playing on TV but crying away saying "Let's go home!" It melted my heart and somehow convinced me that this little baby of mine is definitely not ready to go to a huge school like NPS yet. I will be sending her to one of the warm and fuzzy Montessoris nearby until she is a year or two older. Gosh! The only saving grace out of all this was that this nice friend/neighbor was able to somehow manage getting an extra form for me from NPS Koramangala as she was standing in that line this morning...thus saving me from doing this all over again tomorrow. Huge thanks G. And A and S and all of my other girlfriends who came up and offered me some much needed support without me even having to ask for it today. Such times really make me wonder - what would a girl do without such wonderful girlfriends!

Anyway, after N saw me she couldn't stop telling me to take her home. So I hugged her tight and brought her home. We cuddled on our couch and surprisingly she started telling me between her sobs how she saw Dora and Tiko and Isa and Swiper the Fox at T's house! Gosh and I thought all she did was cry out there :-) Then she asked to see Dora on her 'own' TV which I promptly obeyed. There we sat hugging each other tightly for a while and watching Dora thanking God for simple pleasures. I tried getting up to get some water for the child but she pulled me back saying "No...don't go". I was holding back tears on seeing how shaken up she was. After 5-10 minutes of cuddling, she had a bottle of milk and like a peaceful baby fell asleep cozily in my arms. I love you my little child and I am soooo not ready for you to get lost in a huge school yet.

The irony of this while episode is that I was the mom who used to crib in the US saying how everyone rushes to send their kids to school at such a young age in India...and that I'll never fall prey to that madness. And here I was this morning doing the exact same thing! Yes...I can always justify it was solely for the Montessori and what not...but part of me still knows that in the end it is a big school and she will not get the one on one attention she might get in a small or mid-size preschool. But knowing me, I am positive I will still end up filling the form and dropping it off anyway. If she does end up getting accepted, that will be another debate with self...and I don't want to even think about it right now. Will cross that bridge when I come to it. But tell me folks...isn't this falling prey to the exact system I did not want to get into in the first place? What would you have done? Would you have stuck to a mid-size Montessori and gone through this entire madness for getting admissions in the 1st grade? Or would you tackle it all right now and not have to worry about their admission process again in 2-3 years? I personally was always inclined towards not having children go through unnecessary stress so early in their lives. But still can't fail to wonder how I had almost started falling prey to this madness myself! Views? Opinions?

How much more desi and domesticated can I get

2009-10-14T17:16:00.009+05:30

Let me say first of all that I don't intend to offend anyone who can relate to this post or dresses up like this...but I thought what hapenned the other day was pretty funny. And I just had to blog about it so that I can come back to this post and laugh when I needed a funny moment.

So there I was getting ready to run a long overdue errand (go to the passport office to renew my recently expired passport). And while I was finally out the door and walking towards my car, a funny thought crossed my mind. I thought "Look at me - all dressed in a jeans with a long desi kurti (the ones you can pair with a salwar), wearing an open toed V-shape slip-ons in my feet, carrying a purse with a long shoulder strap (the kinds whose looks I hate but only carry it now coz it is convenient with a toddler to carry most times along with) and finally - carrying all the necessary documents in a plastic carry bag (instead of a manila folder or my nice red shoulder-cum-laptop bag like I would have normally done just a year ago while in the US). I mean really how much more desi and domesticated could I get???!!!"

And then to top it all, when I went to school after that to pick up little N, one of the other moms there asked me why was I all dressed up today? Really I thought? I mean this was as dressed down as I could be...the most casual look that goes on around here in India. So are you trying to tell me that on other days I am dressed up worse than this? LOL :-)

Nyways, the whole point is that just a year ago, before I was a stay-at-home-mom living in India, I was a person who would never be caught on the streets dressed down in this manner. My definition of dressed down used to be a pair of track pants and an old t-shirt with sneakers or some other form of closed toe comfortable shoes. Thats probably coz my wardrobe consisted mainly of formal wear that I wore to work in the US (pants, tops, sweaters, etc.) or really old clothes I wore at home. None of the in-between ethnic kurtis and stuff. And I was one of those who, for some strange reason, used to frown upon people toting plastic bags to carry documents and such and wearing V-shaped flip-flops that make your feet all dirty in the dust and mud in the streets here. I guess now that you know this part of me, you've finally realized the humor in this story huh :-) Its funny how these stupid dressing notions were so deeply imbibed in my mind that this thought crossed my mind without me even realizing it. Now all that was remaining was a bindi on my appearance and I would fully qualify as one of the manibens from Gujarat ;-)

In all positiveness though, what I wore that day was quite comfortable in the weather conditions here. No wonder this 'look' is so popular amongst women in India. So moral of the story - sometimes you just gotta believe in jaisa des, waisa bhes and give it a try yourself huh.

Happy Second Birthday My Child

2009-09-24T15:25:00.001+05:30

Dear Little N,

You turned 2 almost a month ago now and I've been meaning to write you this huge milestone letter since then but you have been so busy at keeping me busy that I hardly found time to pen down all the stuff you've been up to :-) But I guess that's how toddlerhood is supposed to be. And trust me I am loving every moment of seeing you grow up so big so soon! Its like all of a sudden you've found soooooo many words that you are able to join them all in various languages to express everything you want to say! I mean to me it sure sounds like you are suddenly talking like a grown up coz it took you longer than most kids to start talking in the first place given that you poor little baby were exposed to 4 different languages since you were born. So ofcourse you took your own time to process it all and then finally picked your preference which interestingly was niether your papa's or your mom's mothertongue - it was a third medium altogether - English. What were we thinking right ;) Its almost like you went to school and suddenly within 3 months picked up a whole new language along with all its grammar and everything. You amaze us when you construct complete sentences such as "Ant coming to take my chhota ball" or "Want to play ball" or "N... fell down from bed here" and millions of other such things. The cutest part is you don't yet use the words "here" or "there". So when you want to say these words in a sentence, you point to the place and make a sound aaaiiinn (can't quite figure out how to spell it but it sounds like hain).

Other than talking up a storm, you also know your numbers (1 - 10), alphabet (A-Z) and your colors so well! I mean you are just 2 years old for godssake and just until a few days ago everytime you counted anything, you said "8,10". And now you rattle off "1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10"! Even with colors, I was shocked one day when you started opening your box of pencil colors and took out each one telling me what color it was. I mean until just the day before that, you kept just guessing the colors without really looking at the object or knowing which is which. And then suddenly it probably clicked in that cute little head of yours and you started telling me "this crayon is pink", "this is red", etc. Such thrills I tell ya! You love singing your ABCs in the nursery rhyme form and your numbers in the poem 1,2 buckle my shoe.

You have such a huge collection of songs you keep singing these days too. Some of your favorites are "lakdi ki kathi", "itsy bitsy spider", "who made the twinkling stars", "row row row your boat", "om shanti shanti (prayer at school)", "oh isn't it fun to walk in the sun", "teddy bear teddy bear", "johnny works with one hammer" and sooooo many more. Most of these you hear at school and some from our laptop at home (courtesy youtube.com). Best is these days when we play any nursery rhymes DVD, you look at the kids do dances and imitate the steps. Like the Boogie Woogie song, you look so cute dancing along with the babies on TV trying to put your left leg in and shaking it all around!

Oh and how can I forget - your favorite show on TV these days is DORA! Ofcourse it isn't telecasted here in India so we have ripped quite a few Dora DVDs from friends and that is ALL you want to see on TV these days. This craze started a few months ago and has only gotten more intense each passing day. Earlier you always had your breakfast cereal with Dora on TV but lately you want most of your meals propped in front of Dora. Earlier you just watched Dora without batting an eyelid. Nowadays, you actually get down of the sofa and start dancing at songs especially the "We did it" song! Its sooo cute to watch you so thrilled by a character like this that we even dedicated your second birthday party to your favorite character. Yes - I arranged a Dora themed party for your second birthday inspite of not finding a lot of Dora stuff in the markets here. Here's what we did for the Dora theme:

My friend B and I hand made the party invitation cards with all the scrapbooking material I had at home. We spent a lot of time and effort on the invitation cards and the envelopes. It turned out to be a pretty neat looking Dora themed pull out card with ribbons on the envelopes, eyelets for a pullout ribbon and all that jazz. We were so inspired by our own creations that we decided to launch a home based business making greeting cards exclusively! :-) Here's a pic to show you how they looked:

For decorations, I had a friend who bought me huge Dora and Boots rubber stickers which we put on the walls in the party hall. Other than that, we did crape ribbon and other decorations in the Dora color scheme of purple, pink and orange. Thankfully we had a lot of decoration stuff left over from her last bday party in the US. And they were all color co-ordinated too. So it was great to be able to reuse all of that. Another friend gave me a nice Dora and Boots Happy Bday banner and a Dora bedsheet that we used as her cake table-cloth. So it all came together pretty well inspite of me being new to Bangalore and not finding a lot of Dora stuff in the market.

Luckily, I found Dora eye-glasses for the kids to wear other than the party hats and the blowers ofcourse. I also found Dora forks and spoons just enough to serve with the cake. We catered food from Saraswati Sweets and the menu was dhokla, poori, aalu bhaji and jalebi. Other than that, we had lots of snacks like cookies, finger rings, muffins, etc. for everyone - kids and adults.

For games, our main attraction was an automatic bubble blower machine. We just kept it near the entrance and it blew bubbles that just thrilled the kids to no end. After a while though, the floor got so slippery that we had to shut it off. Other than that, I'd researched a lot for Dora themed games and had planned quite a few but time limitations allowed us to play only 2. So for the first one, I had printed out a lot of Dora activity and coloring pages from the Nick Jr. website. Gave all the kids 2-3 sheets each with tonnes of crayons I had bought to be used. They had fun getting creative and showing off their coloring skill. The next was a fishing game in which I filled a tub with water and used around 10 bath floating toys as the fish in the pond. The kids were then given strainers (chai chhannis) and asked to "fish" the toys out one by one. This one was a huge hit and none of the kids wanted to stop doing it at all!

The cake was the part I was most skeptical about but Sweet Chariot did a great job with their computer printed Dora cake. We loved the looks and the yummy taste (Butterscotch). And the most important part of the party - the return gifts. No kid can leave a party without their surprise filled goody bags. I used cute paper bags (again left over from N's first bday party) pink for the girls and green for the boys. Luckily I had found Dora stickers at Oddessey and used them to decorate each goody bag. For the gifts, I had found magic sketch books at the same store which I gift wrapped and threw in lots of stickers and tattoes of various kind and candies in each bag. Parents loved the idea of a magic sketch book coz it is absolutely something non messy and you can hand it to the kids and let them be busy at it for hours. Basically the pages in the book seem blank when you look at them until you rub a pencil on it. That's when the picture appears in the form of a sketch. Pretty neat huh :-)

Here are some pics so you can visualize all that I described:

Gosh - where did I start this long wound post and look where I ended up! Sorry dear N, I got carried away with all the joy of you turning two and mommy getting a chance to express her creative side somewhere! I can never thank you enough for giving us so much joy in life little N. I never really knew what I missed in life until I had you. God bless you and all the other kids in this world with all the joys, happiness and love they so deserve.

Side Note - me and my friend B have decided to commercialize this interest of ours and will be glad to be of service if you ever need an event organized in a particular theme. Just let us know when and where and we can take care of the rest. Now with all the research done and all the material bought, we are quite enjoying this and are getting better at it.

Wow what a month (and what an year)!

2009-09-05T16:20:00.001+05:30

So many milestones and memories in this past month of August 2009. It sure has been one of the most hectic but one of the most memorable of all since we moved back to India a year ago. Let's see where do I start...

* My dear brother chose his life partner and got engaged to a lovely lady on Aug 22 2009. Him being the only sibling I have, ofcourse we were all excited to fly down and join him on this special occassion. But August was also the month full of swine flu scares and tragedies in this country. So plans kept forming and falling apart until the last minute. So the way it ended up, I flew to Pune alone leaving behing hubby dearest with little N for 2 nights. Enjoyed the engagement ceremony but missed them terribly.

* The day after I got back, my in-laws were slotted to fly down from Mumbai to join us for little N's second birthday. This was the first birthday celebration we would have for her in India so was kinda a big reason for a family reunion of sorts. So we celebrated her second bday on Aug 25 at her playschool and then had a party with friends and family on Aug 29.

* A day before N's party, we all (us and inlaws) decided to make a roadtrip to Mysore. Had a good time there, visited the famous Mysore palace, St. Phelomina's church, Chamundi hills, got back at night and prepared for the big event the following day.

* Had a birthday bash for little N at our apartment complex's clubhouse on Aug 29. Incidently, this day was also our 1 year anniversary of moving back to India from the US. One whole year - not even sure how it flew by. N is one year older and speaking volumes now, making new friends and showing us new things she picks up every day. And one whole year of us settling down in India after over a decade in the US. Making new friends, learning new lessons and rediscovering our past every single moment. Truely a year worth cherishing.

* But as they say, all good things come to an end. Our festivities came to a screeching halt when I came down with a bad case of food poisoning (I think my first time ever) on Sept. 1. Little N had a milder version too along with fever and hubby dearest wasn't spared either (thank god his was the mildest of us all). Nyways, had the worst week ever after a nice fun filled month.

All I can say is...thank god for good friends and family around. It feels wonderful to share with them, the good and the bad, the ups and the downs in this roller coaster of life. So much has passed...so much has changed and yet it hardly feels like we just uprooted our whole lives and moved to a new place altogether to start all over again. As they say, its not the place...its the people that make every place worthwhile.

Schools in and around Koramangala, Bangalore

2009-08-04T15:10:00.009+05:30

So after all the madness of searching a good Pre-school or Daycare for little N ended a few months ago, its hard to believe that it is already time to worry about where should she go next year onwards. I mean I just got her admitted to a pre-school in June and it is just now that she is actually enjoying it and learning lots from it. And already, it is barely 2 months and I have to worry about where she should go next year!!? The session next year does not even start until June 2010 but the reason we parents need to plan now is that most big schools will release admission forms in September or so (after Dussehra holidays) and you need to grab it asap to apply and be considered on a first come first served basis. Amazing na?

So as we did earlier during our pre-school research, me and my friends aka paranoid moms ;-) started our rounds of visiting schools in and around our area. Here's what we've found so far. I will continue this post in its part 2 as and when I visit more schools in the vicinity.

1). NPS Koramangala: They have both - the Montessori and the Traditional streams of education for junior school. To get admitted into Montessori 1 (first year), the child has to be 3 years of age by June of the academic year for which admission is seeked. If that does not happen, the child cannot get admitted into the Montessori stream at all (unless in cases where they make an exception if he/she has been to a different Montessori before). Now I took this at its face value and came back thinking that since N is an August born child, she is not eligible for NPS montessori at all. But many moms in our community have now informed me that they make exceptions all the time. They themselves have seen cases where there are October/November born kids in Montessori 1. So I have been advised to atleast take the form and apply.

Pros: If your child gets into Montessori here, he/she can enjoy 3 full years of Montessori education and then go into 1st standard right here. So they get the full benefit of Montessori way of learning and you as parents need not worry about their re-admissions to a mainstream school all over again. The school follows the CBSE curriculum from 1st standard onwards.
Cons: From all the reviews I have heard about this school, they are very academically oriented. Exams, tests, projects, etc. such a young age is not what I would want for my child - but then every parent has a different perspective. Some believe this prepares them for reality in their lives. One more thing - we asked the front desk lady to show us around the school or let us know a date when they can conduct some kind of an orientation for prospective parents and she very nicely refused to extend any sort of a courtesy on that front. I guess this school just goes by its name - either you apply or you don't. You don't get a chance to see it during or after hours.

2). Little Feat Montessori House of Children: I have already written about this place here but that was when I had not visited them yet. I now went and took a tour of this place and they seem very friendly and understanding as a management. They take admissions atleast twice a year (Dec and June). Your child will most likely get in as long as he/she is under 2.5 years of age when you contact them. And the place, their montessori material, infrastructure is pretty good too. I have a lot of friends whose kids go here and the parents are all happy.

3). Vibgyor High (HSR) : The front desk lady here was very different from the one we met at NPS. She actually took a lot of time to show us 4 moms (with our toddlers) around the school. It is a nicely built place with a lot of facilities for the kids and the best part is - they have after school day care on the premises! So kids can spend the rest of the afternoon there if both the parents go to work. To qualify for admission here, the kid needs to be atleast 2 yrs 9 months by June of the academic year. This is when he/she will get admitted into Nursery. If they are atleast 3 yrs 9 months, they get into LKG and then UKG and so on. So according to my kiddo's birthdate, she being August born, will be 2 yrs 10 months in June 2010 and so will absolutely qualify here (unlike at NPS where she needs to be 3 yrs of age). They follow the ICSE board curriculum.

Pros: This school claims they do not have a midterm and final exams structure until 4th standard. They do have weekly assessments to judge a child's progress and grade him accordingly. Again, some parents prefer the traditional approach to prepare their child early on. I am not in one of those camps. I would rather my child learn through experiencing things first hand than cramming and taking tests/exams. Another pro, getting admissions into this school seems relatively easier since they are brand new. This is their first functional year.
Cons: School is quite far from Koramangala - took us 30 minutes to get there. Might be a good option if you live in Sarjapur or HSR Layout. Also, the campus was pretty much all concrete. And for folks like me who have grown up in schools which has ample ground space for sports like cricket, football, high jump, long jump, PT, etc. it did not appeal much to the eyes. Was too much concrete for my taste.

Other schools we plan to visit in the near future are:

DPS (have heard they have a very good campus)
Prakriya (have heard very good things about this school - their campus, curriculum, way of teaching and their nursery)
Headstart Montessori House of Children (have heard that this Montessori also has classes upto 5th currently and they have aquired land for more)
Bethany High (this school has also recently launched a child care center for infants and toddlers who can attend pre-school here and move on to Bethany High from there)

Do let me know if you think of other schools that I should add to my list here. If not, do keep checking for Part 2 of this post.

EDITED ON Oct. 10, 2009 TO ADD : NPS Indiranagar has started giving out admission forms and their other branches (Koramangala and HSR) might start the coming week.

Her first Konkani sentence

2009-07-15T00:19:00.004+05:30

Little N formed her first sentence in Konkani this evening. She woke up after a 3 hour afternoon nap (which is very rare for her) then insisted on sitting on her high chair and eating 'dadim' and started saying 'Makka stone jaai'. Just like that! Out of the blue! I had to ask her to repeat it almost 10 times before I was convinced that is what she was saying. And then the little smarty translated it for me saying 'Makka stone chahiye' as if mamma couldn't understand what she was asking for :-) I have seen it quite a lot of times now....some nerves in her brain click when she sleeps coz almost every time she gets up from her afternoon nap, she says something so new and marvelous - it makes me proud!

P.S. She has already been forming 3 or 4 word sentences in Hindi and English (mixed). Such as "Mamma eat mummum khaana" since the past month or so. But now the fact that she has started translating words amongst 3 languages - Konkani, Hindi and English is music to my ears. Touchwood!

School Progress Report

2009-07-06T23:17:00.001+05:30

So it has been a month now since little N started her first school in life. Her first day was Thursday June 4, 2009 and poor baby had just cried her lungs out the entire 30 minutes. Today on Monday, July 6 I can proudly say that my little baby (I should get over the fact that she is no more a baby but a toddler now huh) has not only stopped crying completely but is actually participating in the activities and learning songs and dances and even showing off at home doing those! What a transformation in just 4 weeks! But oh how long and stressful those 4 weeks were! Not a day passed by when I doubted myself on whether I was doing the right thing by sending her to a playschool at this age. And any comment from any stranger about how little she was and already going to school just made me melt all the more. After she cried violently for the first 2 days, her teachers called me in to see if that would calm her down. And that is when I suggested that I sit with her at school for a few days until she starts trusting them and growing comfortable there. They were nice enough to let me do it and I think thankfully that was the magic charm.

For most other kids, cold turkey approach might work but I know mine is more of a gradual type. For settling in at school, she needed reassurance that mommy was not abandoning her and that her teachers will not harm her. Once she saw that they are mommy's friends too and that mommy is not there to abandon her, she grew comfortable and started playing a little and enacting some songs at school. So that's what I did for the next two and a half weeks. I would go with her at around 9:30 and sit with her untill 11:30 or 12noon every day. Finally we started talking about how to taper it off. Luckily we got an opportunity when my buaji from Pune came to stay with us for the week of June 22. That week on Tuesday, June 23 we decided that we will try and leave N alone at school even if it was for just half an hour each day. And we made sure that this first day, daddy will drop her to school and not mommy. Coz little N is different with each parent - she comes to mommy for comfort and nourishment. And with daddy, she is more playful in general. And she is more used to seeing daddy leave her every morning to go to the office and coming back to her in the evening. So we figured we should give it a try and send her to school with daddy. And that is what we did. That first day of her school, I was so jumpy and kept checking my phone every 5 minutes to see if her school called asking me to come at once and get her. But none of that hapenned. Apparently, she cried when hubby dear left her but he has a stronger heart than mine. He calmly told her that daddy is going to office and will come back and get her and walked off and came back home! I could never have done that. I would be pacing stressfully outside her school (like I did the first 2 days). Then one of her teachers (Meera auntie) made sure to convey to me through our other friend whose kid goes there too that N was fine...not crying violently as before...just sobbing a little off and on. I picked her up an hour later (around 10:30am) and ofcourse she cried when she saw me. But they said her crying was much lesser this time than the first 2 days 3 weeks ago. So the next day, I dropped her to school and she cried when I left. But quietened down in a minute. I remember how bad I felt that day and even called my mom asking if I am doing the right thing. My mom was my pillar of strength that day reassuring me that this is for N's own good and that she will make new friends and enjoy much more there. She will learn to be a little more independent instead of clinging on to mommy most of the day. So I need to have a stronger heart and let her try this atleast for a week or two. She was the only one encouraging me not to give up yet - even my dad and hubby were not so sure :-)

Luckily by Friday, her words came true. When I went to pick up N from school on Friday, Meera auntie said these magical words to me "you will be proud to hear that your daughter actually did Ringa Ringa Roses and Mulberry Bush and participated in all the songs and dances today!" I could not believe my ears and eyes! There she was playing with a kitchen set and not with her favorite Meera auntie but with the other kids and teachers at school! And when I asked her - N shall we go home? She actually said "Naa"! No tears, no wailing...instead she wanted me to come play kitchen with her at school! Thank God for this day. I never knew such a day would arrive.

Since that day, she actually walks with me to school (instead of insisting to be carried) and we sing and hop and skip along the way. She still gives me a sad look when I leave her at the gate (which melts my heart with a pinch of guilt even today). But the fact that at home she is so happilly singing songs she learnt at school and generally associates school with happiness makes me get over all that guilt before I know it. I actually feel proud on days when I ask her what you did at school and she says things like "slide" or "bubbles" or "ringa ringa roses" or the most interesting was when she said "puzzles". I was shocked to hear that word coz she never said it before and has only learnt it at school. I can see so many changes in her behavior now with just 1.5 weeks of her going by herself (without mommy). She has become much more social, more independent in playing by herself, eating herself, sings a lot more songs these days (is singing and humming nursery rhymes and other school songs most of the time) and most of all - her fear of others trying to talk or play with her has come down drastically. Before I used to jokingly call her a 'touch-me-not' baby coz she would shrink or cry whenever a new person approached her :-)

So I am writing this to remind myself that although I felt like a horrible mom subjecting my child to a cozy little playschool at 1 year and 9 months - it ain't all that bad afterall! Infact I can now proudly say that my little baby is enjoying and learning so much more every day and I can use that little time for myself to keep me and my family so much more happier. God bless Mohini and Meera auntie and my little one who is growing into such a "samajhdaar" young child.

Finally!

2009-06-30T23:04:00.004+05:30

Finally after being without a PC or a laptop...basically "internetless" for almost 3 weeks, hubby dear gifted me a new laptop as my belated birthday present. Yayyy! Now I can waste more time on the Net that I utilized in useful things otherwise :-)

Glad to be back!

If one more person comes and tells me...

2009-06-24T23:02:00.005+05:30

Either that my daughter is so tiny...she hardly looks 2. Or that I am doing a mistake by sending her to playschool so 'early' and that I should have waited another 6 months or so...I swear I will sit them down and give them a good piece of my mind. Either that or I will shrug them off as another member of the 'Harry Mother's Association' as one of my friends refers to such moms :-)

Sorry for sounding so harsh but today is my day to vent and whine and crib. I am really sooo sick of hearing these things about her. Why do some people (and by people I mean total strangers... not even friends and family) especially here in India make it a business to come by and tell you how to raise your own child? We as parents are more worried about our kid than you Mr. or Mrs. Stranger are...trust me. We have consulted enough doctors to reassure ourselves that our daughter is perfectly healthy as long as she is active and following her growth curve and that her size is not an indication of ill health...it is probably just genetic. And yes, she is 21 months old now...old enough to interact with kids her age and fall into some kind of a routine in life. So we are both ready for a 2-3 hour per day of playschool each day. So no thankyou - you are not the best judge of when I consider my child to be ready or not. I know her more than you do and am not pushing her into anything. I am making sure it is gradual and that she is gradually beginning to enjoy herself. So please...just back off and just give us some space. Thank you!

Motherhood opens your eyes to so much more

2009-06-18T23:20:00.001+05:30

I had quit my job in mid April since my 6 months of working offshore had come to a close. After this I had the entire month of May free before my little one started her first school ever in June. It had been 9 months since we moved to India and I had only seen my parents right after we arrived. So I packed us (mother and daughter) off to visit both sets of grandparents to spend some much deserved quality time with them. I had wanted hubby dear to come along too but that didn't quite work out what with his work and stuff.

So May was when I had the travel bug. Decided to make a trip to Pune and kill 2 birds with one stone - finish my business and spend a few days with my brother while I was there. I did exactly this, then flew back to Bangalore, picked up my baby and flew to Bombay the following weekend. Spent a week there with my in-laws and then went off to Vapi to my parents. Spent another week there, came back to Bombay for a couple days and then back home to Bangalore. All in all a wonderful trip was had and lots of memories were made. But what urged me to write this post today was this feeling I had topmost in my heart during the entire stay this time with our families. I suddenly felt closer to my parents than I have ever felt in years. I now understood why in all these years when I was in the US, I was treated like a guest every time we came home for a 3 week break. Ofcourse we were guests who were so detached from the day to day ongoings of our own parents...who would call them just once a week and talk about the health and weather and visit them just once a year for a coupla weeks and call it a day. Really? Is that all you get from your own children once you are done raising them all these years...staying up at nights for them...praying...worrying...thinking...breathing...practially living for them all these years? I think now that I am a mother I suddenly realize what our own parents have gone through to bring us up as the good human beings we now are. Now I understand what they mean by saying - it is much easier to give birth to a child than to raise him/her in life.

I guess my husband always knew why he was moving back to our country and he might just read this post and say - duh! But honestly, it took me a while to really get it. I mean, yes we were all moving back to be physically closer to our families and stuff but even during all that, I never thought I would have this feeling in my heart after being away from home for soooo long. I mean I guess once you are in a situation for this long, you kinda start getting used to the setup and start looking at the positive side of things - such as you have a better standard of living in the US, your independence is a huge factor that you gain as a woman, your work life balance is far better than in India. True. But the intimacy we think we still maintain with our loved ones back home by making 2 or3 calls a week, is, in my opinion, just a fantasy in our own mind.

So this time when I was leaving my parents place for coming back to my own home, I suddenly felt glad about moving back to India. I did not have tears in my eyes during the goodbyes for the first time in ages...and I somehow felt like now I am their daughter once again (instead of the once in a year visiting guest). And most of all, I felt I could do so much more for them now that I am here instead of just buying them clothes or gadgets from the US every time we visited. Those are really such superficial joys that they don't even care for anymore. What brings a twinkle in their eye now is the precious bond they now share with their granddaughter...the love she showers on them unconditionally...the joy she brings in their life by just being around. That is a gift that is truely priceless. Oh this can soooo be a Mastercard commercial:

A nice formal shirt for dad from JCPenney - 80$

A pearl necklace for mom from Macys - 200$

A new laptop for dear bro from CircuitCity - 1500$

The joy in their eyes on seeing their little granddaughter/neice - PRICELESS!

First Day at School

2009-06-04T13:35:00.008+05:30

A new chapter of her life begins...she has grown into a school going toddler...trotting away from home...stepping into a new life one tiny step at a time. I have mixed emotions in my heart as she steps into this world out of the shelter of her cozy little home and family. She will now have to learn to fend for herself, live without her mommy and daddy for a bit and be happy knowing that they will surely come back to get me in their arms. I never thought I would be this emotional today especially since I have gone back to work when she was 3 months old, leaving her home with a very nice lady (her nanny). But then when she turned a year old, we moved from the US to Bangalore and I decided to work from home and then eventually quit working to make sure she settles down completely before I decide to take up something full time here. So today was her first attempt at trying to make it on her own in the midst of lots of other kids. Here are a few pictures from our first day at school:

Happily Walking to School

Enjoying the Swing at School

They told us that school will only be for 30 minutes (9:30 - 10:00am) today and tomorrow (Thursday, Jun 4 2009 and Friday, Jun 5 2009). It is mainly to acclimatize the kids to this new environment. Next week will be longer durations, depending on the child's comfort level. So how did she do today you ask? Well...not so good as I feared. She started crying when Mohini auntie first took her from me but quietened down soon when she started showing her around the lovely campus. That was when I slipped away. After the half hour was up, Meera brought her to me. They said she cried almost throughout...would quieten down at times, ask for me, and when she didn't see me, would cry again. Gosh I have never seen her head shake so vigorously and nodding sideways as when I took her back in my arms. She quietened down immediately...sobbing slowly but calmly. Then when she saw the 2 dogs in the house, she suddenly said "doggie" and was fine again. Then she sat in the swing, did the slides and generally played there for another hour or so. She was fine as long as mommy was there with her. Thank god atleast she didn't hate everything about the place and the day! She came back home pretty happy with herself and singing away. She even told me the auntie's names and has agreed to go back tomorrow. Let's hope she doesn't start bawling at the sight of school tomorrow (as she does when she sees we are going to the doctor's office)!

So here are the only friends she made at school today:

Her 2 friends at school - Bono and Nano (Mohini Auntie's pet dogs)

And here are the 2 great ladies who run this place Kinder Kare with so much love and care:

Mohini Auntie (N calls her Mo Auntie)

Meera Auntie

My Best Mother's Day Ever

2009-05-15T00:30:00.003+05:30

So I left a huge chunk of my heart back in Bangalore recently when I had to travel on a business related trip and leave my baby behind. This was on the Friday just before the Mother's Day weekend. I had to be away for 2 nights and was scheduled to be back on Sunday morning which coincidentally hapenned to be Mother's Day.

Obviously, since I had never left my baby away from me overnight, I was going away with a heavy heart. But hubby and I decided to make the farewell quick and not drag it too much since she had already sensed something was up since a day before. Kids...they surely do have a sixth sense. N had started saying "Mamma tata" to me since the night before! So I went ahead and actually had this conversation with her:
Me: Where is mamma going?
N: Office
Me: What does N want from mamma's office?
N: Chocolate :-)

Who can then resist the urge to bring back tonnes of chocolates for the dear little baby who actually was such a nice girl while I was away that she did not give even one reason for daddy to complain! But the mommy in me decided its best to steer away from forming such habits (that too decided with a loaded heart). So I chose to bring her back some new toys to play with. Nice thinking huh :-)

Nyways, back to my Mother's Day story. So I do my work in Pune, spend nice quality time with my brother there and then fly back to Bangalore on Sunday morning (May 10, 2009). I make sure we wish both - my mom and my mom-in-law for their special day. But all this while, it completely slipped my mind that now I am a mom too and I too now have someone to wish me on this day when she grows a little older. Little did I know that my dear hubby and daughter have already planned a cute surprise for me back home. So I catch the Volvo from the airport to our home, walk the remaining 20 minutes dragging my luggage...making sure not to trouble my little child and hubby to get dressed, get the car out and drive - all for saving me a good walk that I am sure I need after such an appetising meal served in Kingfisher Air. Finally reach home panting and sweating in the summer heat, cursing all the stuff I carried in the backpack, promising to travel empty handed if possible next time and such. But all that exhaustion vanished when my daughter and hubby greeted me at the door with this conversation:
Hubby: N, what do you say to mamma?
N (shying away slightly but instantly announcing): I (read - aaaaaiiiiiieeeee) du du! (Meaning: I love you!)
Hubby: (with a group hug) Happy Mother's Day!

It just melted my heart! Teaching N to say "I love you" to greet me was probably the best mother's day gift I could ever get from both - my hubby and my dear daughter who has such an endearing way to say every new thing she learns. I actually really hope she doesn't outgrow this "I du du" way of saying "I love you"...coz when she does say it correctly, I will know that my baby will have suddenly grown up into a big girl!

Teaching her these 3 magic words shows me how thoughtful you are not just as a father but as a dear husband to me too. If you do read this, dear hubby, I want you to know that this mother's day was my best ever not just coz you taught her this but also coz you took such good care of her and yourself while I was away that I did not have a single reason to worry about anything at home. I love you dear hubby for being such a strong pillar of support for me...for always being by my side...for being the reason why I am so happy in my life inspite of all the ups and downs it brings us.

Here's wishing all you readers a belated Happy Mother's Day. Please do fill us in on how you spent yours or what touched you the most on this day.

Happy 20th month my little one

2009-04-25T14:08:00.007+05:30

As you can see by the Lilypie ticker on the right, my little angel turned 20 months old today. Strange feeling calling it 'old' when they are still such new 'young' little bundles of joy. I have yet to see soooo many of her firsts in life and yet there are sooooo many firsts that she has learnt to master already. Can't stop marvelling at how quickly time has flown by...when it just seems like yesterday when we drove our little precious home from the hospital in Fremont. I remember my hubby's words to me on that short drive home - "its just the two of us now (he meant - to take care of little N)". And I remember it drizzling lightly and me fussing over how the car seat should cover her completely eslt what if she has a little water on her!!!???? :-) And look at her now - completely a water baby! Loves it like crazy. Swims with me not just in the baby pool but the adult 5 ft. deep one as well. Shrieks in delight as soon as I leave her floating in the pool with just her arm bands on for support.

She sure has come a long way. From not being able to talk at all for almost 14 months to having a huge vocabulary all of a sudden and having this great ability to comprehend not one, not two but three languages already! Konkani, Hindi and English! She has gotten into the habit of forming sentences now - which ofcourse consist of just 2 words but atleast she has understood the power of being able to get her message across by combining 2 words. The most important ones being - "Mamma chocolate" :-) Others in her vocabulary are "Mamma come" or "Papa come" or "Aabu come"etc. - you get the idea.

She has also done quite well in her potty training so far and our latest struggle is trying to brush her teeth. Her allowing us the privilige to brush her teeth entirely depends on how good we are at convincing her with stories about bugs or ants in her teeth on a given day. She sure has a strong will - when she does not want something she will make sure she has her way. That part is definitely from her dad's genes, I'm sure :-) Also the need to hold my hair when she's sleepy or hungry or just plain playful. Ugh - that one I am determined to bring to an end soon. From her mom's genes, she has inherited the love for water and the need to have mommy around her all the time. My own mom tells me how I would cling to her all day and howl when she even just stepped away to use the restroom! Man - how did our parents handle us? And not just one but two little mosnters? Gosh!

That reminds me - do any of you who've had babies around mid 2007 plan to have a second one soon? (Or already have a second one enroute). If so, please please share it here...I am quite curious as to what the thinking is about the ideal age gap between siblings.

In the meantime, here's to my little N who is still the only baby of the house - both on mommy and daddy's side of the family. Hope blogger.com is still around when she grows up and reads these letters from mamma with love.

Beauty regimen of a mommy

2009-04-01T19:32:00.002+05:30

Was browsing a magazine online and reading this article when it struck me that my beauty regimen or rather skin TLC is actually next to NOTHING. Ever since I became a mom, my daily beauty regimen is to moisturize, moisturize and moisturize. And that's pretty much it. Obviously I do regular visits to the parlor just to make sure I don't grow hairy bushes all over my face ;) and once in a while when I look really really old with shiny grey hair, I decide to actually find the time to color my mane using one of those do it yourself boxes at home. But other than that, really nothing.

Isn't that scary? Atleast I thought it was quite scary when I glanced into the elevator mirror the other day just casually but what actually caught my eye for the first time were new lines under my eyes when I smiled!!! Yikes! I never had an eye for such things ever and thought that all women who obsess over such things are vain. So you can only imagine how obvious it must be for a woman like me to notice such a thing! And I am only in my very very early thirties! Help!!!!!!!!!!!

Please new mommies - do fill me in on what your beauty regimen is. And more than anything, how do you find the time to get things like facials etc. done? I mean when I was actually a working mom, I had a full time nanny to look after my little N so I could sneak out time here an there for an occassional pedicure or facial etc. But now that I am at working from home full time, who do I leave the baby with for such things? Weekends fly by just running errands - so when do you stay-at-home or working-from-home moms manage to take out time for beauty regimens?

My baby turned 18 months a month ago!

2009-03-23T22:59:00.003+05:30

And I have been meaning to write this post since then! Just haven't gotten around to finally doing it :(

Anyways, here I am...finally trying to capture all that has been going on since she turned 1.5 years old (on Feb 25, 2009). We left for a 10 day road trip on March 1 for my hubby's grandma's first shraadh and also N's mundan ceremony. The plan was for hubby's parents and sis to drive down from Bombay and us from Bangalore to meet at Sirsi. Stay there for a night at his cousin's and then drive together to Kodkani for the shraadh. But I fell ill with a bad case of cold, fever etc. a day earlier so instead of leaving on Sat (Feb 28), we left on Sun morning (Mar 1). So that gave us very little time with the cousins in Sirsi. Anyways, we all met up and reached Kodkani on Sat night in time for the shradh the next day. The village stay was quite an enjoyable experience with the entire "kunj" getting together - the first for me after my marraige ofcourse. On Tuesday afternoon we left for Ankola where the mundan ceremony was supposed to be done. Stayed in the kuldevta temple that night and N had a blast running around the huge temple premises. Then on the morning of Wednesday, March 4 - the five of us took little N with a very worried heart for her mundan. I was mostly worried about how much she would cry and what if she shook her head in all the crying and hurt herself. Gosh - all sorts of horrible thoughts kept worrying me the previous night. But God had a miracle in store for us. Somehow, N cried a lot the previous night in her sleep (maybe night terrors) but sat very calm and still through her entire mundan! She surprised us all by not moving an inch all the while the guy shaved her head. She knew something was going on on her head but did not dare move as she sat in her dad's arms. Whew! Thank God! With that gone smoothly, the next on our agenda was to hit the Murdeshwar beach and actually have a vacation. But for some unplanned reasons (such as the driver's time limitations etc.) we had to cut short our trip by 2 days and think of alternatives on how to best spend the limited time we had left. So we decided to check out the nearby Gokaran beach and Shivji temple instead. We stayed on at Ankola that night and left for Gokaran on Thursday. Enjoyed the temple visits and the beach and drove back to Sirsi. Stayed with the cousins that night and the next morning, his folks left for Bombay and we drove back to Bangalore. All in all - a very nice enjoyable trip with lots of quality time with the in-laws family.

And this is why I never actually got around to doing an 18 month post for my little one. She did have a huge milestone of having her mundan done at this age and her mommy and daddy are so proud of her having sat through it without any trouble at all.

The other milestone I had planned for her at this age was to start her potty training and stop her diapers - cold turkey. I stuck to my plan and the next morning after our arrival back home, I told her how we left her diapers at Ankola :-) It took her almost a week to get it but she finally did do her first poop in the potty the following Friday. So we started training her on Sat (Mar 7) and she finally got the idea on Fri (Mar 13). And I must give a lot of credit to her dad who supported and helped me a lot in all this messy business of potty training all week and it was actually him who got the pleasure of witnessing her go poo-poo in the potty for the first time on Friday afternoon. Mommy was running some errands in the market at the time. By now she has started telling us when she wants to go poo and we take her to the potty to do it. But she still hasn't gotten the idea of sensing when she needs to go pee so cannot tell us beforehand. Any of you experienced moms have any ideas on how to teach them this soon?

Now that she is almost 19 months, Little N is also trying to drink milk from a cup atleast once a day. Mommy mixes doctor recommended chocolate flavored Kids Pro in a glass of milk and offers it from a cup. N has it either from a straw or spoon or directly from the cup or sometimes a combination of all of the above. But atleast she is trying :-) My dear sweetie....how fast you have grown and oh how much you talk and absorb everything these days. It amazes me at how you observe all the little things and try to tell us all that you see. Oh and it is so cute that only I understand what you try to tell me coz isn't it me who taught you all this in the first place. That is such a satisfying feeling...to see your child reciprocate and demonstrate all that he learnt and absorbed from you and the world you are building around him. It won't be long before we parents will not be the biggest influence in their lives...infact we will probably be the least important quite soon :-)

Daycare Centers and Preschools in Koramangala, Bangalore

2009-02-26T22:41:00.000+05:30

So I have now officially joined the bandwagon of "paranoid moms" - not just being paranoid about daycares and preschools myself but spreading this fever to all the friends around me who are moms to kids in a similar age group as mine! Ain't I so evil ;) heeheehee

Nyways, it all started with a job interview I was actively pursuing. And the decision of whether I should take up the job if offered weighed largely on whether I would be able to find a very good home away from home for little N. In the US, I was able to work without much guilt coz I had a wonderful nanny who loved N just like she was her own child. But here, I am yet to find either a nanny or a daycare who will give her the love, warmth, intellectual stimulation and hygeine all at the same time. So over the past few weeks, I have been spending a lot of time each day researching and visiting daycare centers and preschools around our neighborhood in Bangalore. Hauling a toddler around to each facility is in itself a huge pain - forget coming home, thinking, comparing and racking my brain to figure out what is good or bad about each place and what are the options my kiddo has. So I thought I'd do this in written so that it gives me some clarity and also help out some of you who might be looking for this information out there.

This analysis is purely my opinion based on my personal research and talking to a lot of folks whose kids go to many of these places listed here.

I have finally begun to understand a little bit about the early years educational system here. Figured out that Daycare is a term given to something like babysitting where your kid is basically in their care, being fed and kind of hangs out in the premises but not necessarily with a structured routine. Pre-School is more of a structured program where they have an hour of two of instructor led activities. Pre-school (also called Playschool) starts at age 1 year 10 months at most places. When the kid turns 2.5 years old, you have more options for him/her. You can continue to keep them in the pre-school or opt for a Montessori. Montessoris generally accept kids at the age of 2.5 and continue their education upto 6 years of age. So your kid can either be in a pre-school (which is the traditional Playgroup, Nursery, LKG, UKG) or a Montessori upto the age of 6. Or you can pull him out of either and admit him to a high school (which offers education upto grade 10 or 12) for LKG at around 4.5 years of age. You can pretty much do this from a Pre-school to a regular school whenever you prefer (LKG or UKG or 1st standard) but Montessoris generally recommend children to stay on for atleast 3 years to obtain the full benefits of the Montessori method. And some believe that research has proven that kids who went through the Montessori program in their early years have grown up to be smarter.

Anyways, so here is a listing of all the daycares, pre-schools and montessoris I have visited, heard of or done some research on in Koramangala, Bangalore. Hope this helps atleast some of you who are looking for such consolidated information online.

1. Little Elly - This was the first ever place I visited so was not quite sure what questions to ask and what to look for etc. But after talking to the management there, I was pretty satisfied with the way they did things around there. The only thing that bothered me was that their toddler program (which is what my N would have gone to then) was only for 2 hours each day. I was really looking for a place that would keep them for 3-4 hours so that they can bond, socialize and get a feel of spending a good amount of time away from mommy. That way I could ease her into a full time program if I wanted to start working soon. Other than that, I liked their facilities, teachers and the overall hygiene.

Pros: They do have daycare facilities after the child's school is done. So after 9-11am, the child can still stay there upto 6:30pm (daycare charges extra). Huge plus for working parents.
Cons: If all you want is a playschool, they only run it for 2 hours per day. Paying around 30K for 2 hours per day seems a bit too much.

2. Child-Care Montessori - This place has been running its Montessori Pre School in 5th Block Koramangala for over a year and had recently opened up their Day Care center in 3rd block, Koramangala which is much closer to our place. So it sounded great since it is a Montessori cum Daycare center which means they accept children as young as 3 months of age. Obviously at that age, they would be treated as daycare children but if they continue there for a while, they will automatically be registered for the Montessori education program at 2.5 years of age.

Pros: I visited only their Day Care center which I really liked. They have very clean premises (great hygeine ranks very high in my list) and have good equipment overall for infants - such as good quality cribs, toddler beds, toys (indoor and outdoor). I also loved the folks running this place, their thoughts and philosophy.
Cons: I did not really like that my child at 1.8 years of age will be hanging out at the daycare center which was still so new that it did not really have a lot of other kids her age to socialize with. It also did not have a structured routine as such for this age group so was more like a daycare where they would pretty much do what they feel like and hang out with a maid most of the time. If I was working fulltime though, this might be a decent place to leave my kid for the time being.

3. KinderKare - This is primarily a home based day care which accepts kids around 2 years of age. They have a 3 hour program for these toddlers and they heavily encourage free play.

Pros: I liked the fact that they have a total of around 30 kids total in the age group from 2 to 4.5 years of age. All of these kids spend most of their time together so it is more like a montessori environment with some structure. I loved the 2 ladies who run this place and their overall attitude of doing it more for a passion than making money in the business. They seemed very understanding and flexible to accomodate these little ones totally understanding that they are not used to a routine of any kind yet since this is their first school ever. I think they will be ideal for my little N's first school and ideal for me as well since this is a stone's throw away from my place. So no putting her in a car seat and driving her to school every morning. All I have to do is enjoy a nice 5 minute walk.
Cons: They only offer a 3 hour program and do not have a full day daycare offering. So not an ideal place for working parents.

4. Vilma's Daycare - This is small cozy little daycare run by a nice lady who runs it in a home (does not necessarily live there though). They accept infants as young as 3 months as well and have a few teachers for the toddlers. I was not too keen on this place as it did not seem big enough for me (all the kids hung out in one living room for play time, meal time, reading time etc.) They said they spend an hour outdoors each day in a nearby park. But as I mentioned earlier, I have a high hygeine standard and this place did not fare too well for me in that department.

5. Planet Kids - Great huge premises. I should say by far the best I have seen in Koramangala. They have a huge place with all sorts of outdoor activities including things such as a splash pool. Indoors, they have a huge ball pit, a media room (with a huge flat screen TV) and a computer lab as well! So facilities wise the place ranked # 1 in my rating but I was not too impressed by their management and their overall attitude.

Pros: Great campus. Have various locations in Bangalore so you can transfer your child to a nearby location if you move. Also have full time daycare facilities for working parents.
Cons: Management did not show too much understanding and flexibility for kids who are going to a school for the first time ever. I am also not a huge fan of putting kids in front of a TV or computer as at this young an age.

6. Little Paradise - Is a preschool as well as daycare center.

Pros: Offers day care facilities so is a plus for working parents.
Cons: Heavily overcrowded. The daycare area is not seperate so infants sleeping are surrounded by playing toddlers all around.

7. Little Feat Montessori House of Children - I have personally not visited this facility since they do not accept kids younger than 2.5 years of age. But from all that I have heard and researched, this Montessori has nothing but good reviews all around. I have a lot of friends whose kids go there and have only heard good things about the people who run this place and the overall reputation, their attitude towards kids, etc. The only con I have heard is that they have 10 classes running but their facilities are not very huge both for indoor and outdoor play.

8. Head Start Montessori House of Children - I have not visited this facility either since they too do not accept kids younger than 2.5 years of age. But again, this place has great reviews from all that I have read about it. The only thing is that getting an admission here is next to impossible - they fill up with siblings of existing kids one or more years in advance!

9. Eurokids - Not visited this school either but have friends whose kids go here and are extremely happy about the place, teachers and curriculum. The big pro is that they have presence all over India so if you move around a lot, this is certainly beneficial for you.

10. Vivaa International - Not visited this place myself but have a few friends whose kids go there. Have heard mixed reviews about this place about their management of kids. The pro is that they are a Montessori which offers day care facilities as well so your kid can either spend the day here if you are working or go here after school for the remainder of the day.

11. Roots to Wings -This is a new chain of pre-schools owned and run by the Singapore based company Educomp. I was very interested in this since they claim to be very different from the rest in their philosophy and curriculum so thought why not check it out.

Pros: The pro I liked was that they do accept kids at a very young age (around 1.5 years). And since they are so new, they do offer trial weeks where you can send the kids for 2 weeks free of charge to see if they really like it.
Cons: The biggest con for me was that they were too new (no kids enrolled in the center that just opened up in Koramangala). So although they seemed to have all the knowledge in theory, I would feel more comfortable if I had seen them actually working with kids in real life. They were great at showing their powerpoint presentations about their well researched curriculum and the "seven petal approach" but when it came to practical questions from a mom such as how will you potty train my kid...they were not able to put me at ease (obviously coz they had never done it before!)

12. Planet Bloomingdale - Not visited this place myself since I had not heard any good reviews about it but I do know that they have a full time daycare for infants.

You know you've lived long enough in the US when...

2009-02-11T11:40:00.001+05:30

You know you've lived looooong enough in the US when you move back to India and...

Try plugging in appliances and wonder why they don't start. And then you realize you haven't "switched on" the plug point! (Gosh - I have done this soooo many times with my phone charger only to find 2-3 hours later that the phone is still dead!!! Grrrrrr)
While driving, you turn into a new street with no traffic and suddenly panic wondering what side of the street are you supposed to be driving on - left or right? There is no one to follow so you are left clueless as to where to drive and so accidentally drive on the right side of the road!
While driving, you constantly keep hitting on the wipers while trying to actually hit the side indicators on.
When talking to the receptionist at the medical facility, you mention "you owe me change for 100 Dollars" instead of saying "100 Rupees" (yes - this really happened with me and for some reason cracked up the entire staff out there. Gosh I have even done this with the sabzi wala!)
You feel awkward eating your own breakfast or lunch while your maid or cook is busy working in front of your eyes at your home (I still cannot see myself eat without offering them something nice as well).
When you take your baby for well check exams, they tell you the weight in kilos and you are dying to go home and calculate exactly how many pounds is it and how she shows up on the US growth curve (even though the docs assure you that you should be using the Asian babies growth curve).
You are dying to get a good haircut but miss your salon and stylist there :(
Your fingers automatically dial "1+Phone Number" to call an out of state friend instead of dialing the "City Area Code + Phone Number"
You go shopping at supermarkets and take the vegetables at the cashiers counter only to realize you needed to stand in queue at another counter near the vegetables section to get them weighed and bagged.
MOST OF ALL - what REALLY gets me is you have to really tax your brains and think hard before buying anything coz it is not easy to return or exchange the items once bought in stores here - not in the next 30 days and not even in the next 30 hours :-)

I go through so many more such incidents on a daily basis...so I am sure I will keep coming back to this post and updating it with more. How about you guys...do you go through such gotchas in your early days of moving back to apna des? Any fun ones to share?

Time flies by so quickly

2009-01-27T23:50:00.009+05:30

My dearest little N turned 17 months on Sunday. I have been meaning to write this post since then and its already 3 days without me realizing it! Time sure flies by when you have a toddler this age in your hands. She is learning sooooo much every day that it is hard to keep up and capture it all. Every day adds a new word to her vocabulary, a new discovery to her endless world and a new trick that she catches from either me or her papa.

Here is my best attempt at capturing what she is upto most these days (ofcourse this is not all inclusive since it is forever evolving). Sometimes I wonder if this is the best of all ages coz every day she learns something new. When she was a baby, it used to be a new milestone every few weeks unlike every few hours now :-) And I am so glad I am the one teaching her most of these new things or being with her watching her catch on rather than being away all day at work and missing out on this fun. Working from home has this huge benefit (amongst other disadvantages ofcourse).

Anyways, so here I go:

Tuesday, Jan 27 - you learnt to say 2 new words - "duddu" and "office". When asked where is papa, you would say office. And ofcourse I thought you being able to finally address your milk as duddu was the topper of all charts! Finally you could express to me verbally (instead of sucking your little thumb) to tell me you want milk!
This was also the day you learnt to use "mama" in its full blown glory non stop all day long to call me to you. Earlier you would just yell "aa" or "eehh" to call me but suddenly this day you just started following me along all over the house all day shouting "mama mama mama" in all sorts of tones - question, exclamation, boredom....you name it and you have it!
Wednesday, Jan 28 - you learnt to say the word "no".
And ofcourse - by now you show most of your body parts when asked. But the cutest of it all is what daddy taught you recently - to dance on the song "heads shoulders knees and toes". You play your Learning Puppy on that song over and over again and start tapping your heads, knees and toes on the song. It is such a joy to see you entertain yourself by just learning to do that over and over and over again...sometimes you even get the "eyes and ears and mouth and nose" part quite well :-)
Here are some other tricks we taught you:

Us: N---- mum mum kash khaata (How does N---- eat mum mum)?
You: Gup gup

Us: What does a tiger say?
You: (growling sound) Haaaaa

Us: How does a bee fly?
You: zzzzzzzzzzz

Us: How does the frog eat the bee?
You: Haaaap (mommy taught you this when she saw this cartoon on channel 9xm that you love to watch)

Us: Aeroplane kashi jatele (How does an aeroplane fly)?
You: show the flying motion with your hand

Us: N, where does Papa go?
You: Aaaapis (Office)

Some words you try speaking but manage a much cuter version of:

Plane - you say something that sounds like "beam"
Bee
Heart
Dots
Cartoon - you say something like "tattoon"
Uda (means water in konkani) - you say "da"
Duddu (means milk in hindi)
Mum mum (for food)
Trisha (your friend/neighbor) - you say "Tisha"
Aryan (your friend/neighbor) - you say "Aayan"
Apple - you say "aappu"
Cup
Tub
Papa
Mama
Mummy
Amma
Aabu
Nana
Nani
Come
Go

By now you have quite a vocabulary and it grows almost daily. You basically try and repeat after us to catch on to these small words.

There are sooooooooo many other things you do that are every so endearing. Like I said, it is
impossible to capture all of that in a blog but atleast I wanted to make sure I have some of it noted down for being able to narrate to you when you grow up.

Lots of love...your "mama".

Before Amnesia Sets In...FAQs Part 1

2009-01-15T19:10:00.001+05:30

They say that nature has induced all women with selective amnesia. Which is why all the aches and pains of pregnancy, labor, delivery and raising an infant are so easily and so quickly forgotten and the only thing that we remember are all the precious joyful moments about having a little baby. Which is why after a few years pass, we are all ready to have another baby all over again! Well, I ain't complaining at all coz inspite of all the aches and pains, having and raising a little baby is truly a pleasure beyond any other in my opinion. Agreed you have days when you are ready to pull your hair out and wonder what in the world were you thinking before giving birth to this little monster ;) But when that "little tiny monster" looks into your eyes and throws one of their lovely smiles, all the frustration is gone and your heart just melts.

Anyway...I digress. The intention of this post is for me to document a few key milestones before my amnesia sets in and all of those first few months are a blur. I am noticing that is already happening when my friends who are new mommies call me with questions and I cannot seem to give them exact details inspite of me just having gone through this a year ago. Strange isn't it? Is it pregnancy induced stupidity (which apparently lasts forever) or is it this natural amnesia setting in that makes you forget all the sleepless nights and all the endless research we did on issues that now seem mundane such as nipple confusion, baby acne, nursing positions, storing breast milk, etc.

So, before amnesia sets in, here I go with a few basic questions I have been asked lately and a few general items that might slip my mind later...

Q. When did I switch my little one from breast milk to formula?

A. The first time we gave her formula was when she was 9.5 months old and that was because we were flying with her for the first time ever and I wanted to be able to give her the bottle in the flight. Storing and preparing formula was much more convenient in the journey and during our stay at Detroit (we were visiting my friend N for a long weekend) so I got her to taste and get used to formula. Although it turned out that the amount of breast milk I carried with me to the trip was sufficient enough and I did not have to pump at all that weekend. Which reminds me that the pumping session I did just before leaving home to board that Detroit flight was the last time I pumped. And even I didn't know that would be my last expressing of bm when I was doing it. Strange na? In any case, when I started formula, I gave her a bottle of 1/4 formula and 3/4 bm to get her used to the taste. Gradually in a week or two, I decreased the amount of bm and increased the amount of formula in the bottle until she got used to the new taste.

Q. How and when did my little one wean off completely from nursing?

A. As explained above, my baby was pretty much weaned during the day when she was around 11 months or so. She did get breast milk through a bottle though from the packets I stored for her in the freezer until around 10.5 months or so. The only time she would nurse from me was at nights to go to bed and when she woke up due to hunger and needed my milk and my comfort to go back to sleep. Since I had stopped pumping at 9.5 months, I reduced my nursing sessions to only nights. I must mention here that nature is a beautiful thing - it only produces the amount of milk that is being consumed. So I still had milk supply to fulfill her night time sessions. I wanted to continue this through our big move to India to make it a little easier on her through this transition...and I am glad I did coz she needed this comfort (and the antibodies that bm provides) to adjust to all the travel and the new life here in India. Once we were finally settled in our new home in Bangalore (N was 13 months then), I started cutting down on the night time feeding frequency too. So I gave her a bottle to go to bed and only nursed when she woke up during the night. Gradually when she was around 14.5 months, I realized that the amount of milk she got through nursing when she woke up at nights was not enough to put her back to sleep. So she was still getting up hungry and crying after the nursing session too. And that is when I brought it to a complete stop and chose to give her a bottle of cow's milk at nights too. By this time she was already off formula and on cow's milk during the day. So this is how I weaned my little precious off breast milk and off nursing.

Q. When did I start her on a bottle? My baby does not take the bottle at all.

A. We were constantly told by our pediatricians and lactation consultants to introduce a bottle at the right age - any earlier and they might have nipple confusion and any later and they risk a chance of bottle aversion (preferring the breast and refusing the bottle). So we were told to start introducing the bottle between 4-6 weeks of age once breastfeeding is well established.

Q. How and when did you get her to sleep through the night without her waking for milk in between?

A. We had missed the boat on teaching the baby to sleep through the night before they learn to sit up by letting them "cry it out". This is mostly on purpose since we just did not believe a little one needs to go through so much grief and trauma to sleep. In any case, now that she was old enough to stand up and always needed a bottle of milk to go back to sleep, one of the tips we were given at this age was to give them warm water instead of milk when they get up in the middle of the night. So when she was 14.5 months old, I had weaned her off completely from nursing. But she was getting up atleast twice in the night for milk and I would have to carry her to the kitchen, warm the bottle of milk and then feed it to her every night atleast twice. When I finally started to get tired of this routine at around 15 months or so, I started keeping a bottle of warm water by my bedside. And so at the 2am feeds, I gave her that instead of milk. Obviously she resisted, cried and was a little frustrated for a week but I did not give in. Even if that meant me rocking her for an hour to lull her back to sleep. I fought it through and sure enough after a week or so of this persistence, she decided its not worth it to get up for milk after all :-) So the only feed left was at 5am when I lovingly got up and gave her the bottle of milk. Around a month later when I learnt that milk at night can cause tooth decay in babies, I started the effort to wean her off the 5 am bottle as well. This was obviously not as easy as the 2 am one so instead of water, I gave her a bottle of 1/2 milk and 1/2 water. She hated that and refused it at times or had an ounce of it at times and went back to sleep. This effort is still ongoing so I will update you when I am done with it. But this is essentially the way that worked for me to encourage her to sleep through the night. I think the most helpful article that helped me work on this was the one in the book "What to Expect in the Toddler Years" where they do a great job of explaining how this is a vicious circle of demand and supply. Baby knows that if she demands, she will always get the supply of milk at night. So you have to basically break this circle by cutting down on supply - either gradually or cold turkey is up to you.

Q. My 1 year old baby eats veggies in khichdi but how do I make sure he is taking enough fruits in a day?

A. When N was 1 year old, I stopped steaming, blending and pureeing fruits for her. She enjoyed eating fruits as is. I used to cut and peel apple slices coz she did not like the peel and she ate them happily. Her grandpa used to peel orange slices, deseed them and even take out their inner peel and offer. She also ate pomegranate though I was scared of those seeds initially but she ended up loving pomegranate. We offered most fruits such as papaya, banana, grape halves etc. just as is - no stewing or anything. Like my pediatrician says, babies' preferences keep changing. So don't worry too much - just give him what they seems to like.

Will update with more FAQs as and when I remember...

Happy New Year!

2009-01-07T23:50:00.002+05:30

Happy 2009! Adios 2008!

What a year it has been - 2008. My inlaws and then my parents visited us in California early 2008. And then just a few months later, we made a huge decision of our lives - to make the move back to India after over a decade in the US. We celebrated our little one's first birthday in Aug 2008 and then moved back to India in the same month (actually just 2 days after she turned one!). Just 3 months later, we made our first road trip in India with little N all by ourselves - just as we were used to in the US. Hopped on in the car and drove off to the hills of Coorg. Celebrated Christmas and dear hubby's bday there and then got back home to Bangalore for New Years.

You know what I won't forget about 2007 ever? The fact that I became a mom for the first time in that year. And our cozy marriage of 2 now turned into a cheerful family of 3.

And you know, what I won't forget about 2008 ever? Not just the fact that I gave in to the idea of moving back to India (which I always just kept hearing about from my hubby and kept shrugging it off as if it is a distant dream). But also the horrific events that unfolded soon after our move - the horrible Mumbai terror attack in Nov 2008. I think that entire episode changed something in me forever. The passive patriot in me that was sleeping somewhere suddenly woke up and all of a sudden, I felt we made the right decision to move back and do something for our own country and IN our own country for once.

Sigh! I do hope and pray that 2009 brings cheer and joy to all. My resolution this year is to do whatever I can to make my country a place that is safe enough for my child to be raised in.

Feeding ideas for a 15 month old

2008-12-06T20:01:00.002+05:30

We took little N for her 15 month well baby exam today. Amongst other things, I asked the doc to draw out a typical day for babies her age in terms of feeding. This is because mine is a scanty eater and feeding her is like a huge project. And although she is hale and hearty (touchwood), she could use a little more fat. We loved the suggestions she gave us. They were geared towards naturally fattening recipes instead of the market bought ones which have preservatives and such. So I thought of sharing with you all since I am pretty sure there are others like me who could use these tips as well. Here is what she advised:

Adults eat 3 big meals a day - breakfast, lunch and dinner. Babies and kids under 3 need to be fed a little more frequently than that since they do not eat big portions in each meal. So insert 2 additional filling snacks during the day - 1 between breakfast and lunch and one between lunch and dinner. So here's how a typical day can look like:

7:00am - A bottle/cup of milk
8:30am - Breakfast (can be anything like oatmeal, dosa, idli, bread, paratha, chapati)
10:30am - Filling Snack (can be anything such as ragi, yogurt, banana shake, chiku shake)
1:00pm - Lunch (this can be whatever the family eats such as rice and dal or roti or paratha)
1:00 to 3:00pm - Nap
3:30pm - Filling Snack (any of the ones mentioned above. Other ideas can be whole fruit such as banana, apple, guava, papaya, chiku, etc. or even mashed banana or other fruits in yogurt)
6:00pm - A bottle/cup of milk
8:30pm - Dinner (can be whatever the family eats such as rice with sabzi and dal or roti or paratha etc.)
9:00pm - A bottle/cup of milk and Goodnight

And here are a few foods/recipes she recommended:

Jacket Potato: This dish is a great idea since it includes carbohydrates, proteins and fats all at the same time. Take a baked potato, stuff it with scrambled eggs and butter to serve.
Chicken/Fish/Eggs: Give these in different forms to the baby. Make sure the fish and chicken are cooked well and when offered, are boneless and minced in small pieces.
Nutritious Milk: Put a paste (liquid or dry) of dry fruits in baby's milk. This is naturally fattening and healthier than store bought alternatives such as Pediasure.
Nutritious Roti: Instead of struggling to feed roti and sabzi, an idea for giving kids roti and sabzi together is to put the sabzi inside roti dough and make a paratha out of it. The other thing my nanny used to do was make roti ki churi with the sabzi that was cooked.
Nutritious Dinner: Instead of trying to feed rice and dal, you can make a nutritious version of khichdi. My new cook puts grated vegetables in the cooker along with rice and dal. I liked the idea of grating the veggies for babies who can be picky about finding vegetable pieces in their smooth khichdi texture.
Healthy Snacks: Other than whole fruits or fruit juices, you can offer fruit milk shakes or fruits in yogurt. Again, one thing my old nanny used to give was dahi-kela. One other thing I give little N is Cerelac. I know this is a store bought alternative but it sure is nutritious and very convenient to make. You can also try pro-biotic yogurts instead of plain ones. The other suggestions our pediatrician made was chicken soup, pasta, vegetable soups, etc.

Although I am a lot wiser and enriched with more ideas about baby food, I do have a question for you experienced moms out there. When planning day trips/outings with the baby, what kind of home made food can we take along that will not have a risk of getting spoilt? When she was a little younger and we were in the US, it was easy to carry store bought baby jars. But in India's climate, I have noticed they too get spoilt if not refrigerated for the entire day. So can you wiser moms give me tips on how to travel with the little one without starving her?

First Bangalore then Ahmedabad and now Mumbai?

2008-11-28T23:30:00.006+05:30

What is the government of India doing? Sleeping? I know it is not just the government's job alone to keep the nation secure...each of us as citizens have a responsibility towards our country and our own security as well. But somehow, over the last 2 days of being glued to the TV and watching every detail on every channel broadcasting the live coverage of the Mumbai siege, my feelings have turned from fear and sadness to anger and frustration. What sickens me the most is that these terrorists had local help from one of our own! When they reached the Gateway of India via boats, they were met with 5 locals who led them to where they needed to be on land! Isn't that just the craziest thing to do? I mean seriously "taali do haath se bajti hai". We can blame every other country and every other terrorist but they could not have done such a huge operation without any local help from within!

Oh and what do I say about the media of today. Have they completely lost their sense of national security? Can they not for once have the brains to switch off their cameras and not think about their channel ratings in the interest of saving innocent lives of our hostages? I know they love to be ahead at every step and show their quick access to all information but at what cost??? Why the hell do they keep broadcasting every intricate detail about every operation going on to neutralize the terrorists? Look at bullet # 4 on this post here. That is just the heights of stupidity by our media men I would say! I pity those brave commandos who carried out their operations which required top secrecy but were being broadcasted in every detail on national television!

This is the third major terrorist attack I have witnessed just in the past 5 months that we decided to move to India. I am beginning to really shudder at what kind of a decision have we made for our kids who will grow up in the midst of this terror. Kiran's post on this brought a new kind of chill down my spine...when she said these were children, young children who were terrorizing the city...and how she feared that this could as well be her son a few years down the line! That thought just worries me sick to my stomach. Oh God - do save us all and bring an end to these atrocities in today's world. My worst fear, worst nightmare ever is the nuclear nations of today entering into a third world war. God only knows what will happen if such a situation arises in our or our children's lifetimes!

P.S. Please do not over analyze this post and try to figure out my political views and inclinations. This is really just a glimpse of the millions of emotions going on through my stunned mind right now.

Sawa Ek Saal Ki Gudiya

2008-11-26T23:20:00.003+05:30

N turned 15 months yesterday (Nov 25, 2008). Daddy came early from work, the 3 of us got dressed, went to the temple, mommy donated some sheera she made for prasad, came home, did her cake (sheera) cutting, gave her a new toy, took lots of pictures and generally celebrated her monthly bday as we used to every month in her first year. God bless her and all the kids in the world. May they thrive and spread cheer to everyone around them.

Jeez...this just shows how lazy and behind I am on major month updates. I had started writing a post for her 14 and a half month update coz she had achieved quite a few milestones around that time. And I never got to finish that and now it is already time for her 15 month update (not that I have done these religiously before but there is a voice in me constantly nagging me to pen these down before I forget all the cute little things she has been doing these days). So here is my attempt at logging atleast 15 things that my naughty little N has been upto around her 15 month birthday:

Nov 12, 2008: Quite a milestone filled day for N today. She held her bottle for the first time ever this morning! Yes - almost 14.5 months and just learned to hold her bottle :-) I had almost accepted that she might never do it and go straight to holding her sippy cup coz I have a few friends whose kids did that. But thankfully, this particular morning, little N decided to finally hear the plea in her mom's voice asking her to hold the bottle and whola! Today was also a day when she actually drank a decent amount of liquid from a straw. She has never been into juices and has preferred water over any juice I have given her. But today, I sat her on her highchair and offered her a small packet of Tropicana apple juice during her lunch and she had a blast drinking and blowing into the straw. Since then I bought her a straw cup and she is able to consume her water from the straw cup as well as the sippy cup. Now if only she starts drinking her milk from a cup too.
Nov 23, 2008 (Sunday): This was the day when she finally uttered her first meaningful word. Guess what it was? Not mamma...not papa...not tata...but "doggie"! This is thanks to her new found doggie friend (a soft toy she got from her dada dadi and bua for Diwali). She used to say mama, papa and tata before but this is the first word she consciously attempted and knows the meaning of fully well. She even brings the dog to me when I tell her to say doggie and says it with such passion as if explaining to me what doggie means - she goes - "dooooooggie". Yesterday she also said "nana" and "nani" when prompted to while we were talking to my parents on the phone. What luck that they were able to hear her utter these words firsthand for the first time! She now tries to repeat after us if we urge her to. For example, when she wants to be picked up, I insist she say "up". And funnily enough, she says it backwards "pa". Took her two days to get to saying "up". It was the same story with doggie too...she used to say it backwards "geedogeeedogeeedo" she would go all the while trying to basically say "doogeedoogee". You get the picture right? Now she says some more simple words such as "bua" and "dada". She had subconsciously uttered a few words here and there a few months ago such as "gaadi" (when looking at cars outside the window) or "nana" but they were not conscious attempts at talking and they were never repeated ever again. This time, it is obvious she is trying to master the skill of pronouncing these words and many more! Wow - I can't believe my baby has finally started talking!
It is also sooooo nice to see her finally understand everything we tell her to do. Believe me this and her ability to start talking was a worry in our household since we are a multilingual family - hubby speaks Konkani, i speak Hindi and English and her nanny spoke Punjabi with her. So we were worried what language will she start understanding and when and will this delay her talking since she has to comprehend so many languages first. But now, she follows instructions in whatever language we speak to her in - such as the other day she threw all her carrots and peas down from her highchair. So I told her to clean up by bringing each piece to me and boy how she did it to the T!
That is the other thing - she has just learnt picking up and putting things back in their containers. Earlier she would love emptying each container may it be her toy basket or a kitchen drawer or a clothes closet. Now once it is empty and you tell her to put things back, she obediently does it! Isn't that awesome? Baby cleaning up after her own mess? ;) What more can you ask! Similar story with her stacking rings btw. Earlier she would just empty them and throw them on the floor. Just 2-3 days ago she was working at learning to put each ring back. I saw her struggle for quite a bit and then loved the delight on her face when she finally mastered the skill of putting each ring back on the stacker! Seems trivial to most adults but only new parents know what a milestone such things are. I should introduce her to blocks next.
Her newest craze is watching nursery rhymes on my laptop. So much so that it has become her nightly routine. She even has her dinner watching these nursery rhymes being played again and again and again on helloworld.com or youtube.com! My hubby and I wonder what gets kids so excited in watching animations and watching the same thing again and again and yet again :-) I am really curious to know why kids gravitate towards animations more than normal telecast. Is it coz animation is 2D while the normal tv we watch is 3D? Any theories anyone? Hmmm...something for me to research in spare time (which is when again?)
When she is in a very playful mood, she loves running round and round around me - on the bed...in the elevator...in the kitchen....wherever!
She sits on papa's head and loves walking and dancing around the house. Papa too loves carrying her like that. Here's how:
At around 5pm every evening, she begins bringing her shoes to me and insists I put them on. Next, she brings my shoes to me as well and starts pointing to the door urging me to take her down to the park. She is quite persistent that way - does NOT stop until you finally stop everything you are doing and actually go down with her. Then she shines her bright smile at you as if saying - "I am sooo happy you finally got what I was trying to say!"
She has quite a few teeth in her mouth now...upper and lower two, 1 molar on each side (lower and upper both - so 4 in all) and is cutting the two next to her front upper two.
She has recently learnt climbing on and out of some things such as her stroller all by herself. She still needs some help climbing on a few things such as our couch, dining table chairs, patio chairs, etc. but is able to get down from it very easily. Very soon she will be able to climb on them all by herself and it will be just more chaos for mommy to keep running after her to see what has she climbed on to now :-)
She has a thing for shoes I think. She is able to tell which shoes are whose and brings them to us accordingly. Best is when papa gets dressed to go to work each morning or comes back from work in the evening, she just does not let go of his shoes! Not sure what goes on in her mind...maybe she thinks if I hold on to these shoes, daddy will not be able to leave me alone and go :-)
She can point to quite a few parts of her body - head, nose, eyes, ears and hands and also a lot of objects such as the moon (chandamama), the crow (kau kau), herself, aeroplane, etc. She also joins her hands in prayer when you tell her to do "jai jai" or "pampa" in konkani.
The saddest part of the day is when she runs behind her dad all the way to the complex's gate saying "tata tata tata" repeatedly. She starts by clinging on to him and following him to the elevator at which point mommy feels bad for her sometimes and goes down with her and dad to see him off a little further. That is when she just runs behind him as far as she can go and as fast as she can go and it breaks my heart when I pick her up to say "don't worry daddy will be home in the evening". I feel glad at such times that I am not breaking her heart by leaving her alone at home too. She does not cry or anything in such farewells...just runs behind him. I am able to easily distract her by showing her something else but I am sure as she grows older, she will not be so easily distracted. But by then hopefully she will understand that daddy is not leaving her and will be back soon. I shudder to think how I will go back to working outside the home some day.
Lately, she howls and screams when we are driving along somewhere and I decide to take the wheel and drive instead of daddy at times. Somehow, she has decided that she does not want mommy leaving her side and driving the car! Daddy doing it is ok though!!!??? How on earth did this happen and god how do I bring her out of this mode now?
She has discovered a new found love for books - finally!!! Yipeee! She now brings her books to me and insists that I "read" them out to her. Sometimes she just picks them up and starts browsing them herself - all the time excitedly pointing to objects she is familiar with or is excited about seeing in the book. Oh how I love this! I was beginning to get worried if I will ever be able to have nice book reading sessions with her and here she is all into books now :-)

This is such a wonderful age. Every day brings something new for her and for us as parents. I hope this joy never ends. Touchwood....antijinx....kalatikka....whatever it takes!

Our Container Finally Arrived But...

2008-11-10T23:33:00.009+05:30

We are sooo unhappy about the entire shipping to India experience. We had two options - Sky2C carriers and Universal Relocations. My hubby reached out to both but when Sky2C did not respond for a while and Universal did, he decided one is as good as the other since both had good reviews in the R2I forums. So we went with Universal. BIG MISTAKE as we now learnt :( Why you ask? Well there's a huge laundry list why. First of all my hubby now tells me that once they had all our stuff loaded with them, they started hitting us with all sorts of new additional charges. And worse than that, the had the audacity to refuse to ship our stuff if we did not pay. Did we really have a choice then? That was our first hint of their "chor giri". So after a few nasty email exchanges, my hubby decided to do a smart thing. Pay them but pay using an Amex credit card instead of the bank transfer they were pushing us for. He decided to bear the additional 2% charge they imposed on us for using a credit card just so that we can contest with Amex in case we had issues with them later on. Good thinking I say coz that is exactly what happened when our stuff arrived a little over 2 months later.

After being told for a week that our truck should arrive from Chennai to Bangalore tomorrow, the truck finally arrives on the morning of Sat, Nov 8. We excitedly start unpacking right away only to learn that so much of our stuff has been damaged in transit. And if the glass stuff that broke was the stuff we packed such as Corningware bake and serve or Mikasa jug, I can understand. But it was also stuff they packed such as our dresser mirror and our leather couches. Our dressor mirror was entirely gone - broken in pieces and we have a decent size leather damage on one of the couches.

But wait - the worst is yet to come. Our moooooost expensive and the moooooooost important and irreplaceable item is gone! LOST! Chhoooo mantar! Not arrived! Our oh so cozy, plush, huge king size mattress with an oh so plush mattress cover. Poof! Just did not show up. Also our home music system/ipod player. Gone as well! What did they have to say abt that? We will try to locate it in the warehouse and get back to you in half an hour. That half an hour turned to 2 days and forget about calling us, we have called them atleast 10 times but they are just not picking up the phone. What does this make us feel? Ofcourse we suspect that they have robbed us and are intentionally not getting in touch anymore. On top of all this, those idiots (pardon my language) had the nerve to call us during the delivery and say that there will be an extra delivery charge since we live on the 7th floor! SERIOUSLY!!!????

We finally have filed for a chargeback for the entire shipping amount with American Express and have decided we are not going to bother calling and fighting with these thieves anymore. Let them deal with Amex who will first withdraw the money we paid them and then tell them to prove why they shouldn't. So take that Universal!

Did any of you R2Ied folks have to face anything similar? Would love to hear your experience and how you dealt with it.

Glimpses of little N in India...

2008-10-20T22:47:00.008+05:30

Just felt like capturing a few glimpses of the little one's life here in her new home in Bangalore. So here I go with a few pics...

Chasing the sun on a warm sunny afternoon

Enjoying bubbles with her new friend T
(poor little kids had to play indoors due to a rainy evening in Bangalore that day)

Playing ball

There are sooooo many more to take and so many more to post such as a few of her daily visits to the park downstairs, a few with her precious moments with grandparents and a few of her first Diwali in India etc. Each growing moment is so precious...I wish I could hold it still forever coz I know this innocence, this sweet little age when everything amazes you and every little thing is a novelty and a learning experience, this age will never return. Your innocence will grow into a wiseness and soon my little baby will be a grown up woman before I know it. Oh how I cherish every second of your life little N and how I wish I could make this last forever!

Monkeys - Yikes!

2008-10-13T23:45:00.000+05:30

Ok not monkeys but one monkey inside my 7th floor apartment!!! And many more screeching and calling each other in the tree right next to my balcony! YIKES! Imagine facing monkeys in my home after I return to India from a place where India is known to most as the land of "snakes and snake charmers" ;)

So I am feeding little N her afternoon bottle of milk in the living room when suddenly I hear a sound in our balcony. First I think it is just a plastic bag ruffling in the air. Then I see a tail and think how did a cat enter a 7th floor balcony. And in the next second, am stupefied to see an actual monkey looking at me. Had to stiffle a scream and the impulse to run shut the door instantly...infact I couldn't move an inch since N was chugging away her milk blissfully unaware of what just transpired. Then as soon as she was done, I ran and shut and bolted the door. Thankfully he had moved on by then.

Later as I narrate this incident to my new neighbor friends downstairs, they tell me this is nothing. Apparently one of them had their kitchen raided by 2 monkeys while she was down with her kid in the park. As soon as she got home she let out a shriek looking at them munching down on her food. On calling the security guard, he comes home and tells her to not shoo them away coz otherwise they will remember the house and harasse them for life after that! Sounds familiar? It sounded like a tale of snakes to me :) Anyways, apparently the security guard pleaded those two monkeys to go away after that. So monkeys seem to be a known problem in 2 out of the 8 towers in my apartment complex. And security says you really can't do anything about them!

It is almost midnight now and I am awake since this is my first day at work. Am working from home for the same employer I used to work for in the US. And all I can hear is the monkey party going on in the tree next to my balcony. When do these guys go to sleep? My little "monkey" at home has gone to sleep a few hours ago :-)

Learning so much so quickly

2008-10-10T20:30:00.000+05:30

It is amazing how fast these little cuties grow and how quickly they grasp things around them. In just a year, she has started comprehending everything around her and even though little N can't speak yet, she is able to understand, respond, communicate and imitate everything around her. It just amazes me so much that I had to document every little thing she has picked up before I forget it all :)

Aug 23, 2008 - This was the weekend I spent with my undergrad hostelite buddies who flew down from various parts of the US to have a mini reunion one last time before I moved to India. And oh what a weekend that was. We were 5 girls and all of us new mommies. So obviously there was soooo much to share, so much to learn and so much to talk about. In all this, the two of them (S and D) decided to teach my little N how to 'high five' and 'low five'. That was probably the first thing she ever learnt from someone consciously teaching her (so far all the rest was self discivery such as waving 'tata' and mumbling a few other words). By the end of that weekend, she was an expert at high and low fiving anyone who asked for it.

Sept 27, 2008 - N just turned 13 months 2 days ago and today was the day when she and I flew down from Mumbai to Bangalore to join my hubby. Her milestone: playing peekaboo with mommy for the first time. And my milestone: surviving an entire journey alone with the kiddo...quite an experience I must say. I flew via Jet Airways. I must say they did not fuss at all at my excessively overweight bag and 3 handbags (yes...again!) but the assistance the crew provided to a single mommy travelling with an infant left a lot to desire. Atleast in Mumbai where they made me not only drag my bags, the little one and the stroller to every single security check possible but made me even drink water from her bottle and sippy cup! I wouldn't have minded this if I was not already struggling with all the bags and the kiddo clinging to me having fallen badly a day ago and walking around with swollen, purple injured lips :( Finally it was a nice lady travelling on the same flight who came and offered to help! God bless her soul. Once I was onboard though, the inflight crew was a pleasant relief. They not only played with the little one all the time but even assisted me all the way to the gate until I met my hubby. Anyways, this was about N's milestones and I started ranting about my own :)

So while we were at DH's cousin's place that day, little N walked into the kitchen to explore the place. Suddenly I called out to her saying "where is Nikki....Nikki khai asaa" to look for her. And she comes running with her tiny feet and peeks out the kitchen door to smile at me. This was the first time ever she did this and I realized she wants a game of peekaboo. She was not going in to pick up the stuff in the kitchen (like she normally does), infact she would just stand next to the wall with her back against it to hide from mommy and show her smiling face every time I called out for her. She did this atleast 5 times that day and since then has started enjoying this little game of peekaboo with us.

Oct 7, 2008 - N ate or drank very little that day which tired and worried mommy until she saw that N was cutting her premolar teeth :-) That explained it all and was a pleasant relief!

Oct 7, 2008 - This was also the first time ever when I saw her enacting Twinkle Twinkle by herself! This has to be the cutest thing I ever saw her do. The thing is that she has been listening to this rhyme from us ever since she was born and may be a few months ago or so I must have shown her how to enact twinkle twinkle by opening and closing my fists. So she probably has memories from that time and it triggered when I recently introduced her to http://www.hello-world.com to show her nursery rhymes. Thanks to my friend S in the US who told me about it and to my friend G who reminded me about it...now whenever I sit to browse on my laptop, little N comes to me and insists that I pick her up and starts enacting Twinkle Twinkle with her tiny little hands. I love it when she does this and can't resist a huge hug and kiss and pulling her on my lap to show her all the rhymes to her hearts desire. Her smile watching hello-world is priceless :-)

Sept & Oct 2008 - During these last two months in India, she has learnt to respond to questions such as 'Nikku khai assa (where is Nikku)', 'Nikkula haath khai assa (where are Nikku's hands)', 'Nikkula head khai assa (where is Nikku's head)', Nikku's nose khai assa (where is Nikku's nose)', 'Mamma khai assa (where is mommy)', 'Pappa khai assa (where is papa)'...you get the idea. It all started with her dadi teaching her where is Nikku. And she learnt to point at herself in such a cute manner - basically takes both her hands and beats on her tiny little chest proudly with a smile to show that here is Nikku :-) Then her dadi was trying to teach her where her hands were but before she got it, I had to fly out to Bangalore. So here I took it upon myself to continue that education and it is quickly working. Amazing how quickly they grasp these things.

Oct 8, 2008 - Saw little N hugging to things she didn't want to let go such as our car keys. This was really her first. She has never had a 'lovey' as such that she is attached to but these days if we give her something - just anything like keys or a belt or a towel, she plays with it and after a while I see her walking around hugging it close to her. I think she is ready for a soft toy or a security blanket or some lovey that she can use to soothe herself to sleep etc. I am sooo waiting for our container to arrive from the US which has all her soft toys in it.

Oct 2008 - Lately I have started leaving her diaper free for prolonged parts of the day to start the process of pee pee training a little early. It started off to help her with her rashes but has taken a good turn since then. With my mom's suggestion, I took her to the bathroom and made the 'sssss' noise to indicate her to pee. And surprisingly it worked! So now I do the same when she gets up from a nap or first thing in the morning etc. Sometimes though, when she is diaper less and she has a susu accident around the house, she starts making the 'sssss' noise herself. If I am not around, she comes to find me and tells me 'ssss' to basically let me know that she has peed somewhere in the house. And when she sees me cleaning it with a cloth, she has even started imitating that. Basically she pulls down whatever cloth she sees and mops the floor with her foot - just like how mommy does! Funny na.

Oct 10, 2008 - Finally after all the struggle of getting her switched to milk from formula, she has now made the transition to regular milk. Thank god! I was beginning to worry about her being allergic to milk or something. Now she has the Nandini milk we get at home which is 3% fat. After a month or two of this, I plan to switch to a higher fat content.

Anyways, among all these things she has learnt, what she just refuses to learn is to hold her milk bottle herself. Most babies are doing this at her age but our little princess wants to play with my hair while I hold the bottle for her. Every single time I have tried to put her hands around the bottle, she stops drinking and gets cranky and irritated and just stops her feeding session. Or she pours milk out of the bottle all over herself or the bed and plays with the spilled milk. That coz she imitates me pouring a little on the back of my hand to check for temperature. Anyone have any suggestions on how to teach her to hold her bottle? I do want to wean her to a sippy cup soon but just holding her bottle should be a good start for now.

I'm baaaaaaackk!!!

2008-10-07T16:25:00.002+05:30

Gosh feels like I have been dug in the woods forever although it has really only been a week and a half since I have been disconnected from the entire world. I am back online now and am so glad to be able to blog again :-)

Me and my little N finally flew down from Mumbai to Bangalore to join my dear hubby on Sept. 27th 2008. It has been exactly one month today since we moved back from SFO to Apna Des. One month of living out of suitcases...one month of trying to keep N's tiny little things from getting lost...kinda tiring. But at the same time, one month of little N enjoying with her grandparents...getting lots of love and attention and fresh yummy home cooked food...one month of me taking it a little easy on baby care what with so many eager folks ready to help out. What a huge milestone month it has been with N making the transition from her life in the Bay Area to here in India. She has fallen and gotten hurt so many times here that it is not funny. Anyways, all of that is a separate post in itself.

So I flew to Bangalore and spent the weekend at my hubby's kaka's place. And then we moved to DH's service apartment. I have been so curious to see how that looks like in India but I must tell you that 2 days there and I had had more than enough of it! Anyways, then we finally move with all our bags to the final destination - our new home in India - Raheja Residency, Bangalore. Whew! Feels like the struggle is over right? WRONG! It has just begun :-)

We spent the entire last week trying to get this place operational. Would spend each moment of the day trying to figure out what to buy from where and how to cook tonight for the baby, how to save the milk without having any appliances at home, etc. In new apartments here, it is not like the US where you get the basic appliances such as a fridge, stove, oven and microwave amongst other things. And you might think what's the big deal - you can easily live without them for a few days and then buy all of that over the weekend. But with a little baby things are slightly different. You need to have a stove and a gas connection at the minimum to be able to heat her milk bottles. You need to have a fridge to store her milk and food and you need to have a microwave to reheat her food and milk (or small vessels that you can use on the stove). Without that the little one's life comes to a halt. And things don't happen as quickly here. We went and chose the stove on day 1 of our move. But they did not have it in stock and required atleast 24 hours for delivery. Same story with the fridge and microwave. The ones we liked would need another 4 days for delivery so we decided to just get the ones that were in stock and can be delivered in the next 24 hours. And to add to the craziness, the day of delivery was Oct. 2 which is a national holiday here. Our apartment complex does not allow moving on Sundays and national holidays! Grrr! Anyways, I had to plead a bunch of people to allow the delivery guy to please do what he needs so that atleast our kitchen could become functional.

In the meantime, thanks to my dear blog friend Gayathri who coincidentally happens to live in the same building as ours - we were able to have a decent meal or two and most of all keep our little N happily fed! Plus as an added bonus her little Trish and my little N found each other's company to play as well. Who could ask for more :-)

So after Oct. 2, once our kitchen got operational, then started our efforts to get the rest of the services done. Like broadband connection for example. Without going into the horrific details of how painfully long the process is and how it takes forrrrrrrever to get these things done here, all I can say is if you ever move back, make sure you have LOTS and LOTS of patience. If you expect that the technicians will show up in the block of time given to you and that things will happen once they finally show up at the door, forget it. Our Airtel technician gave us a timeslot of 3 hours and did not show up even after those 3 hours were up. After calling up and following up twice, he finally shows up at 6pm and asks for a bunch of documents and their xerox copies! With no advance notice of what is needed, they expect us to have these documents ready? In any case, he takes my originals for getting xeroxed (while I am hoping he doesn't just run away with them) and after an hour of paperwork, picks up the bag and walks out the door! I am like "What? Who is activating my DSL?" He politely smiles and says that will take another 3 days madam! No one told me that earlier!!! Do you not have the courtesy to tell me the process beforehand when I pick you for my broadband provider and schedule you for an appointment? And then 3 days later they call me at noon to say the technician should be home before 3 pm, I keep waiting putting all the other things to be done on hold in case I am not home and I miss him. He does not show up till 7pm!!! Ofcourse I followed up like crazy but there seems to be no concept of accountability or customer service. No apologies either when they show up. They continue working at our home till 9:30pm while we are wondering when can we start dinner. In any case, I am just happy that we are now wired and I am back online! Without the internet, it just feels like I am disconnected from the entire world. Oh and wait - when I call Airtel today for another issue (our parallel phone jacks in the house are not working), I discover that they have activated this connection in some software company's name instead of mine! Jeeez oh Peete! Does this ever end?

Oh well - like I said - take a deep breath and relax. All this will be behind me soon. Hopefully :-) Overall, I am happy with the new home and the new community we live in. It is a huge complex with every amenity you can ask for and lots and lots of kids to play with little N. There are nice huge shopping malls nearby and you get almost everything you are used to in the US. Life is nice once you have the basic infrastructure up and running for you. And with my Vonage line set up now, I even caught up with some of my friends in the US who I so miss chatting up with :-)

Any Suggestions for a New Title?

2008-09-15T22:30:00.000+05:30

When I started writing this blog, my intention was to capture all that I could about baby care and how we being of Indian roots, deal with sometimes conflicting advises we get from our scientific versus superstitious well wishers. I was living in the US at that time.

But since then, we have moved to India and so as you can guess, I will eventually be surrounded by more superstitious advises than scientific ones :-) The core in me refuses to believe or give into the superstitions. And so I'll still try to keep blogging about such dilemmas around baby care as I come across them. I will also blog about our experiences after R2Iing.

The key question I face now is that having moved to India, the title of this blog "Raising an Indian Baby America" does not fit anymore. I'm looking for some cool title suggestions from my readers. Pls send me your ideas either via comments or email. Also do you think I should change the URL of this blog accordingly as well? Since I am new to blogging, how easy/difficult is that?

A new lifestyle for the munchkin

2008-09-11T12:35:00.000+05:30

When I started writing this post (9/9/08), it had been 10 days since we had moved to India after living in the US for almost 10 years (a year longer for my hubby). So I figured this is a good time to capture all that our little N is going through what with a new place, new environment, new people and a new life she is now adopting. I have seen sooooo many changes in our little munchkin in so little time that it just doesn't stop amazing me.

Temperament
Her first few days at her dada dadi's home was full of separation and stranger anxiety. Although she has been with them when she was younger, she took atleast 4 days to warm up to them completely. And then suddenly by day 5, she was all about them :-) She would happily run to whoever called out to her (dada, dadi or bua) and each of them have their unique cute ways to lure her to them and capture her attention. Oh also it seems like out of nowhere she has suddenly developed a way of showing stubbornness about whatever she wants. Already? She has just turned 1 and I feel she was such a baby before we brought her here to India :-) I read somewhere that babies do develop a tendency to show tantrums at this age but this just feels so sudden. Me and my hubby keep saying she has changed to a stubborn brat overnight :-)

Newfound love of Birds & Animals
She has started really clinging to me and my hubby a lot since the day we returned. I think part of it is stranger anxiety since suddenly she is surrounded by so many people. But part of it is also separation anxiety that comes naturally at this age. So the trick I have told her grandparents to adopt is take her quickly in their arms and run outdoors or to a balcony or window and show her outside. Her grandpa came up with a trick saying "Caw Caw" to basically whisk her away from me and show her the crow that visits us every day. She now loves being with her grandpa and watch the crow come and eat food at the kitchen and living room windowsill. That is aabu's (her grandpa's) favorite activity with her.

After 7 days when I brought her to her nana nani's place, she found more sparrows here than crows. So since then she also understands "Chi Chi" and points to sparrows every time we ask her "Where is Chi Chi". It is amazing that she can spot and point at crows and sparrows and also pigeons at such a distance that sometimes we also don't notice that they are there. When left alone with them, she seems to talk to them in a language of her own. Quite amazing to watch her mesmerized by these new beings since she never had such close encounters with them in the US. She is also fascinated with the cows and dogs around here. BTW here too she would cling to me a lot and it took her almost 4-5 days before she warmed up to be with nana/nani alone.

Sleep
It took her almost a whole week to get over the jet lag after arriving here. For that first week, she would take long naps during the day, refuse to eat as much but substitute that with more milk and would go off to bed at 6pm most days! Then she would sleep until atleast 4am the next morning after which she would be all fresh for the new day. That meant that even if we tried to sleep in to fight the jet lag, our little sweetheart would make sure that doesn't happen ;-) So my jetlag only passed when the little one was out of it herself. After a week or so, she was better but would still nap longer in the day as compared to what she did in the US and would go to be earlier (around 8 pm). Obviously I wasn't complaining as that meant that I had more time for other things while she was snoozing away :-)

Diet
So on one hand her sleep improved but her appetite definitely worsened. She was always a light eater but atleast she had solids thrice a day in the US. Here she reduced it to twice a day and I let it go initially coz she was adjusting to the time zone change and stuff. But after that phase passed, she still does not eat as much as she used to. Her meal times are the times I miss our nanny the most. She must have had such amazing patience to feed my little picky monster :-)

Other than that, I introduced her to cow's milk on Sept. 3 (first day of the Ganpati season). And oh my god what an ordeal that was. Me and my little N had to go through so much that I think I should write it for all of you who are or will be going to this phase soon. So first of all, I made the mistake of following the US pediatrician's instructions to the T and going and searching for the most fatty tetra pack milk I could find in India so that it is close to the Whole Fat version in the US. I couldn't find anything that said Whole Fat so I bought Amul Gold Standardized Milk which had close to 7.5% fat. Gave that to her and she took it fine at first, fussed a little later and then took it if I was persistent. But the worst mistake I made was that unknowingly I did not go slow. I had no idea that is how you are supposed to do it. No one including my pediatrician had informed me that cow's milk is harder for babies to digest and can upset their tummies. I always thought it is about the taste and that is why some parents mix it with formula to give it to their babies initially. So when N took it fine, I thought she is ok with the taste and can make the switch now. BIG MISTAKE. Poor baby started pooping everytime she had a bottle of milk and so she started going atleast 4 times a day. So once I came to my parents, they informed me that Amul Gold is not cow's but buffalo's milk which is typically thicker and tougher for people to digest. Wow - imagine that! And nowhere it mentions anything such as that on the packet. Isn't that just wrong? So on their advise, I switched her to what we got at home (Amul Taaza 3.5% fat). They suggested if her system can digest this, then I can graduate to higher fat content. Made sense. But I think the mistake was already made by then coz who knows if it is was coz of the milk or the extra poops but she developed a bad diaper rash in a few days. At that point I stopped milk completely and took her back to formula. And then when I asked around to see what I was doing wrong, I was told that I should have given her just a little milk to start with and gradually increased the quantity to allow her system to digest cow's milk! Imagine that! No one tells you these things man - its almost like you are supposed to know these things being a mom. Ridiculous isn't it? Poor N had to go through so much coz of all this.

Anyways, I brought her to only 2 ounces of milk in a 6 ounce bottle of formula once a day (in mid afternoon). But after a few days it still didn't change her poop frequency so I took her to a local pediatrician. And he goes, 4 times a day is normal. You should only worry when it is 10 times a day and is loose! And that's that. I was amazed at the nonchalance they show here for babies. No advise on what to do and what not to do. Just wrote up a prescription for the rash and a medicine for the diarrhea (if any) and that's it. I had to dig it out from him to figure out how to switch her to cow's milk successfully. He then suggested Lactogen. Start with its stage 1 and then move to stage 2 and then milk. He even suggested diluting the milk initially (3:1 - 3 parts boiled milk, 1 part boiled water). He also said to keep with Amul Taaza 3.5% and not move to whole fat right away.

So I ask you experienced mommies out there, what should I do next? I think I will keep her with the 2 ounces milk she is getting once a day but I worry every time she poops (she still goes 4 times a day now). I don't think I want to stop milk completely for a week or so coz I don't have infinite Enfamil formula with me. And I don't think I want to start go with the option of Lactogen 1 and 2 and drag this thing forever. The doc towards the end said - you can just stick to doing what you are doing without going to Lactogen as well. Seems like he couldn't make up his own mind. Didn't help me a single bit going to ask for his advise. The only thing I learnt is the brand Lactogen is pediatrician recommended.

Her food intake has also reduced at the same time. She used to eat well thrice a day in the US. Now she just refuses to open her mouth when she does not want to eat - whatever I do. Any tips or words of advise? The doc said he could prescribe a tonic to increase her appetite but would not recommend it for her yet. And I agree - I want to stay away from medications for these things.

Her Likes and Dislikes
She loves playing with both sets of grandparents now and absolutely loves running around. She has also started climbing and coming down of stairs and loves doing that all the time. We take her to a garden here in my parent's town and she just has a sudden burst of energy and runs there non stop! It is good exercise for me too coz I have to keep running after her to make sure herself.

She has also started enjoying her baths now! Thank God for that. I am glad that her bath anxiety seems to have passed. I think the humidity in the air also contributes to her love of bathing. Atleast for me it does :-) I am always soooo hot and sweaty here (especially in Mumbai) that it is not funny. I am not sure how I never felt this way in my earlier visits to India.

Anyways, I could keep going on and on about all the things that are new for me and her. But this post is getting way to long and I am afraid that my questions about switching her to cow's milk may get lost and go unanswered by you readers. So please please send me your tips/advise on both - switching to cow's milk and also weaning her to sippy cup from the bottle.

Returned to India

2008-09-07T11:00:00.000+05:30

So the project is finally complete - executed per the plan, on time, in budget and within scope. Spoken like a true Project Manager huh? ;-)

Nyways, we finally made the move to India after living in the US for almost a decade. Here is how we had planned it and here is how things actually took shape:

Aug 15: My last day at work. Went with a heavy heart since it meant saying goodbye to a place and to the folks I grew to really like. Not many people in this world are happy working where they work but after a few years of struggle and making it in this firm, I was at a good place there. Oh well, there was always the hope of continuing to work for them from India. So I wasn't that disheartened about that. The only thing I didn't like was that I did not get the opportunity to say my goodbyes to everyone I knew and wanted to keep in touch with. The reason? Fate I must say...coz just a day prior, I got an appointment notice from USCIS (used to be INS) to be present for my fingerprinting in a far off location from work by mid afternoon on Aug 15. What rotten luck. So that day also being my last day at work in the US, I literally had to wrap up and rush out of the office by 2pm. And to top it all, quite a few of my coworkers had arranged a really nice farewell lunch and gathered quite a crowd for me that day. So by the time we all reached and settled for lunch, it was already 1pm. And by the time we got done, it was 2pm and I was in a mad rush to pack my cube into boxes and get out asap. It was so bad that I did not even get to see my own manager before leaving. This has to be the weirdest termination of an employee - where I turned in my keys, laptop, badge and stuff to an empty chair :-) My poor manager was on the road trying to get back to work in time to see me off. But I was in a hurry for the appointment so we just said our goodbyes over the phone! Imagine that! After 3 years of working here, I had never imagined this is how my last day would be. No time to say goodbye one last time to the place that had taught me soooo much...to the place that gave me so much. I swore I will come back next week and finish what I left off but we all know how that goes. Next week came and went and the only time I could finally take out was the day we were actually flying out. I rushed in and was barely able to meet only a few of the many folks on my list.

Aug 17: Hosted our little N's first birthday party. I wrote about that here.

Aug 22: This is when the movers came in and whisked off all our stuff from our home in the Bay Area. We had estimated around 250 cubic feet of container space but it seemed like our luggage was limitless. I am pretty sure we ended up loading much more than that. We will find out soon. In all we ended up shipping 78 items!!!

Aug 25: Took little N to the pediatrician for her well check exam. Got her immunized and said our goodbyes to the best pediatrician we have ever met. We will miss you Dr. Kang.

Aug 26: Amongst a lot of other things such as our move out inspection, went to the temple near our home one last time.

Aug 27: I went to the office in the morning to meet a few folks I could not meet earlier on my last day. Also to collect the laptop so that I can work from India remotely once the new offer letter comes through and I accept it. Delivered the car we sold to the buyer and finally boarded the Jet Airways flight at night.

Landed in Mumbai, India with excessive baggage and all on the morning of Aug 29th 2008 at 7am local time. Our stuff shipped via the container will probably join us by early to mid October in Bangalore.

I do need to document how much we carried on our flight home so that I can advise everyone to NEVER do this ever. We managed to check in a total of 6 items (we were allowed only 5 amongst the 2 of us and our infant). And we had like 9 carry on items and other miscellaneous things hanging around here and there like the baby's blanket, my purse and what not. You should have seen the sight - me and my hubby juggling around the baby and all these carry on items. The Jet Airline staff was very courteous with us though. They did not charge us a single penny for all of this luggage and infact helped us lug our carry on items in the flight. But we swore after this experience to NEVER EVER travel with so much stuff :-) The worst thing was that they checked in our stroller and did not give it to us in the lay over or as soon as we deplaned in Mumbai. We had to lug all of this through immigration, customs and only got the stroller at the baggage claim - completely defeated the purpose of us going through the pains of buying and carrying an umbrella stroller for the travel!

Oh well - an experience we will never forget - we can now tell our little N this is how we R2Ied :-)

Swades

2008-08-31T11:54:00.001+05:30

Ye jo des hai tera, swades hai tera, tujhe hai pukaara
Ye woh bandhan hai jo kabhi toot nahin sakta

Tujhse zindagi, hai ye keh rahi
Sab toh paa liya, ab hai kya kami
Yun toh saare sukh hai barse
Par door tu hai apne gharse
Aa laut chal tu ab diwaane
Jahaan koyi toh tujhe apna maane
Awaaz de tujhe bulaane, wahi des
Ye jo des hai tera, swades hai tera, tujhe hai pukaara
Ye woh bandhan hai jo kabhi toot nahin sakta

Sounds quite romantic and filmi but somehow, since the day we have returned to India for good, I have this song stuck in my head. Wierd isn't it? Coz part of me still does not believe that I have closed shop and moved lock stock and barrel from US to India for good. And part of me knows that there is no running away from the truth and maybe it is my heart trying to tell my brain that we have made the best decision for ourselves and our families...maybe it is me trying to see the emotional side of things rather than the materialistic side. Who knows why this song bug - all I know is that this is it and there is no going back. We are not on a vacation here in India...we are here for better or for worse...we are here for each other...not just via a phone call but physically here.

And maybe that is why unlike all the other times when I used to visit India, I am in no hurry at all to call all my cousins or friends who live here and catch up with them. Coz its not like I have limited vacation days...now I am here for good. So there is plenty of time for me to call and catch up. Its quite a mixed set of emotions really...like I said, part of me does not believe that we have actually made it happen. And the other part of me knows that it is done and that is why I am in no hurry to reach out and call everyone I know here coz I know that will unfold in its own sweet time. For now, I just want to live in this surreal world that we are in...mentally and physically in all homes...the one I left behind, the ones I am living in and the one we will create for ourselves.

Happy Birthday My Little One...

2008-08-30T09:11:00.000+05:30

Life flies by so fast...especially little children's. Almost seems like yesterday when little N was born to us and already she has turned 1! Already her age will be referred to in years instead of days or weeks or months. Already I am a mommy of a toddler instead of a newborn or an infant. Already I am an expert in mommy hood by surviving baby's first year :-)

It was little N's first birthday on Aug 25. Guess what we did on that day? Took her for her one year well baby check exam and subjected her to 4 shots - yikes! Could not really help it but our timing couldn't be any worse. We had to fly off to India in 2 days so better that she be immunized than not.

But its not like we did not celebrate this huge milestone. We had our little N's first birthday party on Aug 17, a little earlier than her actual bday. And it was just wonderful! Lots of work but worth all of it :) Most of our friends attended and everyone loved how cute you looked in that pretty dress and shoes. We played Musical Chair and Pinnata with the tiny tots in the party. Mommy had chosen a theme of Hugs and Stitches for you although she had really wanted to do an Ocean Wonders Aquarium theme coz all your baby gear (bouncer, swing, mobile, playmat) was of the Fisher Price Ocean Wonders Aquarium theme. Oh well, maybe next time. And to top it all, daddy made sure your cake was made to order with the Hugs and Stitches theme too (see above) :-)

My love, here's to you and your long life...(a song from the Fun N Frolic CD you have grown to like lately and which we played when you cut the cake):

It's a hap-hap happy birthday,
May you live to be, a hundred-and-three;
It's a hap-hap happy birthday,
A hap-happy birthday to you.

Take a bow, take a bow on your birthday,
Your birthday, your birthday;
Show us how, show us how on your birthday,
You still look as good as new.

It's a hap-hap happy birthday,
May you have luck galore, knock at your door;
It's a hap-hap happy birthday,
A hap-happy birthday to you.
A hap-happy birthday to you.
A hap-happy birthday to you.

R2I Plan - Crazy Busy!!!

2008-08-12T01:40:00.000+05:30

I just thought since this is a crazy crazy crazy phase of my life - both at home and at work, I must record it somehow so that one day when all of this is behind us, I can reflect and marvel at how we made the R2I thing happen.

Not to say that we didn't know this was going to happen eventually. But when things pick up momentum, it all happens so fast that you don't even realize when time flew by. You suddenly DO NOT have the luxury of planning or envisioning how you'd make the move finally happen.

So here's a brief glimpse of how crazy our days look like currently. Our goal is to wrap up everything and fly out from San Francisco to Mumbai on Aug 27 2008!

July 6 - July 15: DH flies out to India finalizing the new job
July 16: Countdown begins. We need to finalize our move so that he can join in Bangalore by early Sept.
July 23: I inform my manager at work about the impending move and its implications to my current job. Go in with a heavy heart and an intention of discussing a last date, transition plan etc. But get pleasantly surprised on hearing that they want me to continue with them even if it is remote - atleast for the first 6-9 months! Wow!
July 30: Have informed the key folks at work about this change in my role and the fact that we are working on a short term engagement plan so that I can still continue in this capacity from Bangalore.
Aug 7: My boss arranges for a farewell lunch in my honor for our entire team. The lunch was something I will never forget - not coz I had such good company but mainly coz I had to undergo the humiliation of getting a driving ticket while driving with 2 co-workers and my boss on our way to lunch :( Thankfully they were really sympathetic since it was a very lame violation (overlooked a forced right sign - well I had 3 other folks in the car who didn't see it as well!).
Aug 8: I was told that working for my company on a US or Indian salary structure might not work after all since it is a short term assignment and not a long term role. So we need to start looking at the contingent worker arrangement.
Aug 15: My last physical day at work.
Aug 17: Celebrating our little one's first birthday (a little earlier than her actual bday). So organizing a huge party, inviting every near and dear one we know and killing two birds at a time - farewell and bday bash for little N.
Aug 21: Our shipping container folks come in and take away all the stuff we need to ship to India.
Aug 22: My under-grad friends from hostel days in India flying down from various parts of the US to spend the weekend with me. I am so touched by this gesture of theirs...sigh...I'm gonna miss them.
Aug 25: Little N's actual first birthday! Earlier plans were to take her to the temple but now we need to take her for her well check exam so that she can get her immunizations! Ouch!
Aug 27: Chalo India!!! We fly out this evening to Mumbai. A lot of mixed emotions...primarily nostalgic and sad about leaving behind our memories we built here in the last 10 years.

See? Like one of my friends said - you have left no room at all for a change of mind :-) Hmmm...now is that how my hubby planned it for me on purpose? ;-) Will have to go poke him abt this...

So here's hoping everything falls in place and go per plan...and the transition to India is smooth for us and our little N. BTW we are maintaining a checklist of things to do before and after R2I. Look for it in one of my future posts.

Baby's Current Likes and Dislikes

2008-08-06T22:53:00.000+05:30

Here are a few things that my little one is fascinated with these days (she is 11months & 1 week old currently):

Walking without support: She just recently learnt taking a few brave steps without holding our hands. So she has made a cute game out of it. Basically mommy and daddy sit on the floor and DD shuttles from one to the other with her arms extended out towards us and screaming in delight, trying to cover the distance with her new found skill of walking as soon as she can before she falls on the floor! It is the cutest thing ever to watch her do that over and over and over again. Sometimes she does not cover the distance successfully without a fall so she gets up and goes off again. She looks like a winding doll whom you wind and leave and it just dashes out - running from mommy to daddy and then from daddy back to mommy!I really wish I could capture this cute newfound joy of hers on camera but there is no way either of us can do it since we are both down on the floor cheering her and hugging her tight when she reaches us with those cute extended arms calling out to be picked up and hugged and the cute smile and squeals of joy!
Climbing up and down the doorstep: This is another funny one where she wants to hold both our hands with her tiny fingers and just climb down from the door step and instantly turn around and climb up. Basically I think she has just discovered climbing and likes to practice it again and again and again tirelessly on the same spot. She does this also when she hits a curbside while walking outdoors by the sidewalk. She loves to climb up and down the curb (obviously holding both our hands) until our backs hurt coz of bending down to help the tiny one :-)
Picking up things off the floor and mouthing them: When she is not walking or climbing, she is either cruising the house holding on to furniture or crawling on all fours. And when she crawls, she spots the tiniest bits of dirt or food stuff and before we can even react or say NO, it is in her mouth! Isn't it crazy that when I want her to mouth her food off her plate or high chair, she won't. But when I don't want her to, she will pick up every bit of food that is fallen on the floor and put it in her mouth. If she can't reach for something on the floor with her fingers, we have even seen her lie flat down on her tummy and try and pick it up straight with her mouth! Sometimes it is tempting to just feed her off the floor - atleast that way she will eat something herself :-)
Sitting down on the floor and clapping when she hears music: Or what we call dancing where she holds on to us and bends and straightens her knees when listening to music. And her favorite CD these days is Preeti Sagar's Fun and Frolic. Her favorite musical book is the Vtech's Nursery Rhymes.
Picking up her toy phone or our cell phone and putting it up to her ear: As if to say "hello". She also just loves playing with our blackberries. So we use it to distract her when she is throwing a tantrum over something.
Laptop/PC: She just climbs all over our laptop or PCs when we are working on it. She has even managed to remove 2 keys from my laptop so far.
Grabbing our glasses or jewelery: She is soooo quick at grabbing our glasses right out of our eyes and into her mouth. If there was an Olympics competition in its speed, she would have won it by completing the task in nano seconds! And then there is the jewelery. Any jewelery that me or the nanny wears, she will try to grab in her mouth.
Swing: We take her to the park nearby for walks now and then. She was initially tentative about the swing or the slide and such but now she just looooooves swinging high and low in the infant bucket swing. She screams in delight each time we push the swing high. It is such a joy to see these little ones enjoy little pleasures in life. The other thing she wants to do in the park is hold our hands and walk in the sand. I think she will also love going to the beach though we haven't done that with her yet.
Looking out the Window: Every morning when she wakes up, the first thing she wants to do these days is go to the bedroom window and stand on the window sill. So it is mostly daddy's job to carry and take her there where she stands and bats at the window pane and look outside. Just last weekend, she was doing that and daddy was talking to her showing her cars passing by as usual and saying "dekho gaadi". And suddenly she said "gaadi". Man! That was sooo precious! Mommy instantly woke up and she even repeated it a while later - saying "gaadi". She also stands on the living room window sill or bat at the patio door. I think just being outdoors is what she loves.

And here are a few things that she is not so thrilled by currently:

Bathing: As I mentioned in my earlier post, she has developed a dislike towards bathing lately for some reason. So we have started taking turns to take her in the shower with one of us before she sleeps at night (as opposed to the nanny bathing her during the day). She seems to like that fine.
Hair clips or rubber bands in her hair: Since she was born with a full head of hair, they were long enough by now to come in her eyes all the time. So we had started either making 1 or 2 ponytails (she looks really cute in 2) or putting on a hair clip. But lately, as soon as we did that, she would instantly pull it out along with some of her hair. Yikes! So daddy decided that's it. She got her first hair cut on Monday, Aug 5 '08 by daddy. Mommy was holding her while dear nanny was trying to keep her amused. She did not seem to mind the scissors in her hair at all. And she looks even cuter with short hair now :-) Here is a pic with her and the nanny in her new hair cut.

Little N with her dear Nanny

Here's to the Nanny

2008-08-01T06:47:00.000+05:30

As we finalize our plans to move back to India next month, we go through our checklist of things to take care of here. There are so many things to do and soooooo many people to inform such as our landlord, our nanny, our bosses at work, our doctors, dentists, beauticians and obviously alllll our friends. The list just goes on and on. But amongst all of these, the person I was dreading the most to break the news to was our baby's nanny. After us mommy and daddy, our nanny is the next closest person that our baby is attached to. The lady has literally raised my DD since she was almost 2 months of age. Ever since DD turned 3 months, I have gone back to work full time and it was this woman who was nurturing her, feeding her, bathing her, teaching her how to play, how to walk, how to talk, taking her to walks around the block and then later to the park. Not that we were never there for DD but obviously given that we both had full time jobs as well, she was with the nanny for a major portion of each day. So in the past year or so, its like our family has not grown by 1 but 2 new members - our DD and our DN (Dear Nanny) whom we call Auntie out of love and respect.

There was another "Auntie" we had hired before her but she was such a huge contrast to this loving lady that she had us in bitter tears in less than 3 weeks after which we literally paid her to not show up at our place ever after. Anyways, our short lived experience with her is another story altogether and maybe some day a different post on the blog. But today, I just wanted to dedicate this entry to our dear Auntie who is as much of a mother to our baby as I am.

You know, I had recently read this book called The Perfect Stranger. It opened my eyes to how much we take for granted about these "strangers" who leave their own homes and loved ones every day to take care of ours and how they rejoice as much in each milestone of the baby as we do. And yet how soooo many times we take these wonderful people so much for granted and shrug it off saying its just their job. I am not saying that it isn't but there is also an emotional aspect involved here - the joy in watching their labor of love (the kid) growing up that most of us do not have in our typical jobs.

In any case, I digress. Let's get back to my story. So the other day we did gather up the courage to inform Auntie that we are leaving to go back to India in a month. At first she thought we are just going for a month to visit so she goes "ok". Then I had to clarify saying we are going back for good. That was when it struck her and she just broke down into tears! Not because she was going to have to find another job, not because she would miss us but because she was going to miss the little baby she raised so carefully and lovingly. She instantly hugged DD and said to me oh why are you all going...why don't u just let DH go...I will come and stay with you at nights...and so on. I couldn't help crying myself and my DH also felt so terrible for doing this to her. We obviously told her that we'll help her find a much better job and that it is all for the good. But in our hearts, at that moment, we did feel really bad.

So here's to the Dear Nanny (our Auntie) who has a heart of gold. Here's hoping she finds a family who is far more loving than us and they enjoy her services much longer than we could.

Anyways, I had started out this post with the intention of posting a few recipes that Auntie used to cook up for DD since she was 8-9 months old and was eating solids well. So here I go:

1). Churi with gud - this is a very yummy punjabi dish that my mom used to make when I was a kid. I just didn't know that it can be modified to make it suitable for babies too. Auntie basically makes a fresh chappati and minces it very well while it is hot. At the same time she adds ghee and ground gud (jaggery) or sugar to this minced mixture and either leaves it in that powdery form or gathers it like a soft laddu. This one is my personal favorite...I think I enjoyed eating the leftovers more than my DD did :-) And I thought this was the tastiest way to use up left over chappatis - so I'd make it for dinner sometimes for me and DH. (Obviously for DD it was always fresh chappatis and not leftovers).
2). Churi with sabzi - this is prepared in the same manner as above but the gud/sugar is replaced by any boiled sabzi (obviously without any masalas) that is prepared at home. This way the baby gets to eat roti sabzi at a very young age. The trick with both churis for babies is to mince it really really well which can only be done while the chappati is hot. So obviously, I could never get it to be like Auntie's.
3). Dal with Daliya - Take some ghee in a cooker, add some daliya (broken wheat) to it and seko it for a bit. Then add washed moong dal, water and some salt. Pressure cook for 2-3 whistles. The nutritious dal with daliya is ready.
4). Anda Kela (Eggs with Banana) - Mash a boiled egg with banana together so that it binds well. Auntie said this was easier and less messier to feed than feeding just the egg alone.
5). Dahi Kela (Yogurt with banana) - Mash a banana into a few spoonfuls of whole fat organic yogurt.

Recent Bomb Blasts in India

2008-07-27T08:34:00.000+05:30

My heart sank as soon as I read this news...and to imagine the first place I saw this was not on a news site but on a blog! This one from Chitra to be specific. And suddenly a fear gripped me - were we doing the right thing by deciding to move back to India? Is this really the best decision for our kids? Spoke to my DH and he shrugged it off saying these things can happen anywhere - you really can't predict. True but isn't the track record and probability of Bay Area, CA much lesser than the metros in India so far? To that my DH says - the probability of getting into a car crash is higher than getting caught in a bomb. Maybe so...but still...isn't this like purposely digging our own grave? I am sure I am overreacting here but after hearing such news, who doesn't!

And then the next day it is the same tragedy in Ahmedabad!!!??? They were as cruel as to plant a bomb inside a hospital in Ahmedabad! Is God trying to tell me something here? First it is the city we are planning to move to and the next day it is the city I spent 5 golden years of my college life in. Is it just a series of bad coincidences or should I really be taking a hint? My DH doesn't seem to deter from his decision to move back inspite of all this - sometimes I wish I was not as big a worrier as I currently am. I remember we used to tease my mom growing up when she used to worry like crazy for me and my brother. We used to make fun of her worrying about us for nothing and call her the President of Chintamani Association. But since I have had munchkin, I am beginning to get there myself. Life does come full circle doesn't it?

I do pray for all those injured and dead in these horrific set of events the past 2 days. And like Chitra says in her blog, I do hope the goodness of humanity rules in the end. Amen.

Coping with a viral infection/sore throat

2008-07-24T04:30:00.000+05:30

So remember how I mentioned here that my hubby was traveling overseas for the first time since our little one was born? Well, he got home safe and sound thankgod for that...but he also brought along a virus! Yikes! Poor guy was down sick one entire week (fever, chills, cough, cold, bodyache....ugh). And all along he just kept worrying that our munchkin shouldn't catch it. We tried taking all possible precautions but I guess she just had to get out of one sickness and into another.

So the following Sunday morning when she woke up and coughed - my ears stood up instantly! This was not her normal cute little cough to attract our attention. This was she really coughing :-( By that afternoon, she was running a temperature and we were like - oh nooooo! This little baby has never been ill so far and now it is one after another. Anyways, we got her on Tylenol thinking that will help with the fever. But it was a stubborn one. I kept giving her Tylenol every 4-5 hours but by that night her fever was 102.5 F and it just refused to go down. So the next morning, I took off from work and took her to the doc. They checked her for ear infection, lungs, etc. and declared - it is a viral infection that probably spread from daddy. Her ears and lungs were ok but her throat was infected which was causing the fever. And there really is no medication for this. It will take its course and pass out from the system. A few things they suggested were cold compress (wet a washcloth with tap water and apply to her forehead), stand with her in the restroom right after someone has taken a shower (or turn on the shower but stand outside the tub in the restroom) so that the steam helps with the congestion, run a humidifier in her bedroom at night, give her lots of fluids, try Motrin or Advil (which have ibuprofen instead of Tylenol which has acetaminophen) and increase her dose of hugs and kisses and outpouring love :-)

They did warn me that this is contagious so I should be careful too. But I am sure you guys already know that was easier said than done right? The fact that I caught the bug as soon as she recovered is a whole another story. But going back to the munchkin, it is amazing how strong these tiny ones are built by nature. They fall sick fast but they also bounce out of it equally fast - and oh how thankful I am for that. Coz her fever started on Sunday and by Tuesday she was better again. As my close friend N (who told me about the BRAT diet) says, kids have to go through this phase of falling sick once. If they haven't fallen sick in their entire first year, then it can come when they join daycare. But if somehow they cruise through that phase too without sickness then it will definitely come when they join school at 5 years of age. But they have to go through this once...and this is what builds their immunity.

So that is the only positive aspect to this tough phase coz otherwise as you all would agree it is just sooo hard to see your little one suffering.

Sudden Bathing Fear

2008-07-21T01:32:00.000+05:30

My little one has always been the types who loooves water. Ever since she was born, she would love splashing in the bathtub or sitting in the bath while we pour water over her. I even remember when she was barely a few months old, we used to bathe her in her infant tub which had a sling and even there she would lie in peace enjoying the water. But all of a sudden last weekend she started howling and screaming while the nanny was bathing her as usual. She was shocked and called me to the bathroom and as soon as I showed up, poor baby started trying to stand and cling to me crying loudly with her eyes closed! At first I thought maybe she is just doing it coz I am home today and she wants to cling to me more than the nanny. But this is continuing everyday since then...even when I am not home during weekdays. Lord knows what got into her all of a sudden. I have been asking a few friends and they all tell me it is a phase...like everything else, this will pass too. Kids go through phases of liking and disliking water so this might be temporary. Either that she has grown up now and has started understanding her likes and dislikes more and so she has decided that she dislikes water now. Or that she has had some kind of a minor accident while bathing like slipping or soap in her eyes that has got her all worked up over something.

So what do my Desi-American friends suggest? Two things - try getting into the tub or shower with her so that she can cling to you and can gradually get over her fears. Or try distracting her with some toys to play with in the bath so that she enjoys that while bathing. And what does my Indian nanny say? Maybe kisi ki nazar lag gayi hogi (someone probably cast a bad spell on her). So we should utaro the nazar (remove the spell) by rotating salt over her head and letting it go in flowing water.

And what does the Indian-American mom in me say? Well I say...doesn't hurt in trying all of the above remedies. Who knows what might work...so here I am...this time willing to give everything a try - the scientific as well as the cultural remedies :-) Will let you all know in a few weeks how it goes.

Questions about baby care in India

2008-07-15T10:43:00.000+05:30

As we plan out our return to India in the coming months, here are just a few of the questions floating my mind which no one seems to be able to answer. Feel free to go through them and share your knowledge via your comments and replies to this post:

The most important and absolutely unanswered question amongst all - what is the equivalent of baby formula in India? Is there such a thing in India? I have heard people say Cereal or Farex but aren't those cereals that you actually mix in milk? I am looking for the equivalent of Enfamil or Similac or Good Start...that actually IS milk for the baby.
Is there a structured way to review/research pediatricians in a particular city in India? I know most likely the answer is no...but still wondering if there is a remote chance.
Do the pediatricians and experts there also recommend weaning the babies to a sippy cup after 1 year of age? And do we even get sippy cups in India?
I suspect most Indian moms make baby food at home but are there good brands that actually sell pre-packaged baby food according to the stages in India?
At what age do they suggest introducing cow's milk to babies in India? Here in the US, it is after 1 year of age. But I suspect they do it much sooner in India. And if so, what brand or kind of milk does one buy for babies? Here most parents go for an organic whole fat version.
What about introducing solids to little ones? Here they have a certain pattern that is recommended - rice cereal followed by vegetable and fruit purees. And they tell us to avoid wheat cereal, eggs and dairy until much later. Also they tell us to introduce one thing at a time and watch baby's reaction for 2-3 days. What about in India?
What brand of diapers are the most popular and most economical to buy for babies there?

Like I said earlier...this is just a sample of the innumerable questions that go on in my mind. There probably is no end to this but I'd really appreciate if you have answers to any of these to begin with and can leave it in your feedback to this post.