Finally!

Finally after being without a PC or a laptop...basically "internetless" for almost 3 weeks, hubby dear gifted me a new laptop as my belated birthday present. Yayyy! Now I can waste more time on the Net that I utilized in useful things otherwise :-)

Glad to be back!

If one more person comes and tells me...

Either that my daughter is so tiny...she hardly looks 2. Or that I am doing a mistake by sending her to playschool so 'early' and that I should have waited another 6 months or so...I swear I will sit them down and give them a good piece of my mind. Either that or I will shrug them off as another member of the 'Harry Mother's Association' as one of my friends refers to such moms :-)

Sorry for sounding so harsh but today is my day to vent and whine and crib. I am really sooo sick of hearing these things about her. Why do some people (and by people I mean total strangers... not even friends and family) especially here in India make it a business to come by and tell you how to raise your own child? We as parents are more worried about our kid than you Mr. or Mrs. Stranger are...trust me. We have consulted enough doctors to reassure ourselves that our daughter is perfectly healthy as long as she is active and following her growth curve and that her size is not an indication of ill health...it is probably just genetic. And yes, she is 21 months old now...old enough to interact with kids her age and fall into some kind of a routine in life. So we are both ready for a 2-3 hour per day of playschool each day. So no thankyou - you are not the best judge of when I consider my child to be ready or not. I know her more than you do and am not pushing her into anything. I am making sure it is gradual and that she is gradually beginning to enjoy herself. So please...just back off and just give us some space. Thank you!

Motherhood opens your eyes to so much more

I had quit my job in mid April since my 6 months of working offshore had come to a close. After this I had the entire month of May free before my little one started her first school ever in June. It had been 9 months since we moved to India and I had only seen my parents right after we arrived. So I packed us (mother and daughter) off to visit both sets of grandparents to spend some much deserved quality time with them. I had wanted hubby dear to come along too but that didn't quite work out what with his work and stuff.

So May was when I had the travel bug. Decided to make a trip to Pune and kill 2 birds with one stone - finish my business and spend a few days with my brother while I was there. I did exactly this, then flew back to Bangalore, picked up my baby and flew to Bombay the following weekend. Spent a week there with my in-laws and then went off to Vapi to my parents. Spent another week there, came back to Bombay for a couple days and then back home to Bangalore. All in all a wonderful trip was had and lots of memories were made. But what urged me to write this post today was this feeling I had topmost in my heart during the entire stay this time with our families. I suddenly felt closer to my parents than I have ever felt in years. I now understood why in all these years when I was in the US, I was treated like a guest every time we came home for a 3 week break. Ofcourse we were guests who were so detached from the day to day ongoings of our own parents...who would call them just once a week and talk about the health and weather and visit them just once a year for a coupla weeks and call it a day. Really? Is that all you get from your own children once you are done raising them all these years...staying up at nights for them...praying...worrying...thinking...breathing...practially living for them all these years? I think now that I am a mother I suddenly realize what our own parents have gone through to bring us up as the good human beings we now are. Now I understand what they mean by saying - it is much easier to give birth to a child than to raise him/her in life.

I guess my husband always knew why he was moving back to our country and he might just read this post and say - duh! But honestly, it took me a while to really get it. I mean, yes we were all moving back to be physically closer to our families and stuff but even during all that, I never thought I would have this feeling in my heart after being away from home for soooo long. I mean I guess once you are in a situation for this long, you kinda start getting used to the setup and start looking at the positive side of things - such as you have a better standard of living in the US, your independence is a huge factor that you gain as a woman, your work life balance is far better than in India. True. But the intimacy we think we still maintain with our loved ones back home by making 2 or3 calls a week, is, in my opinion, just a fantasy in our own mind.

So this time when I was leaving my parents place for coming back to my own home, I suddenly felt glad about moving back to India. I did not have tears in my eyes during the goodbyes for the first time in ages...and I somehow felt like now I am their daughter once again (instead of the once in a year visiting guest). And most of all, I felt I could do so much more for them now that I am here instead of just buying them clothes or gadgets from the US every time we visited. Those are really such superficial joys that they don't even care for anymore. What brings a twinkle in their eye now is the precious bond they now share with their granddaughter...the love she showers on them unconditionally...the joy she brings in their life by just being around. That is a gift that is truely priceless. Oh this can soooo be a Mastercard commercial:

A nice formal shirt for dad from JCPenney - 80$

A pearl necklace for mom from Macys - 200$

A new laptop for dear bro from CircuitCity - 1500$

The joy in their eyes on seeing their little granddaughter/neice - PRICELESS!

First Day at School

A new chapter of her life begins...she has grown into a school going toddler...trotting away from home...stepping into a new life one tiny step at a time. I have mixed emotions in my heart as she steps into this world out of the shelter of her cozy little home and family. She will now have to learn to fend for herself, live without her mommy and daddy for a bit and be happy knowing that they will surely come back to get me in their arms. I never thought I would be this emotional today especially since I have gone back to work when she was 3 months old, leaving her home with a very nice lady (her nanny). But then when she turned a year old, we moved from the US to Bangalore and I decided to work from home and then eventually quit working to make sure she settles down completely before I decide to take up something full time here. So today was her first attempt at trying to make it on her own in the midst of lots of other kids. Here are a few pictures from our first day at school:

Happily Walking to School

Enjoying the Swing at School

They told us that school will only be for 30 minutes (9:30 - 10:00am) today and tomorrow (Thursday, Jun 4 2009 and Friday, Jun 5 2009). It is mainly to acclimatize the kids to this new environment. Next week will be longer durations, depending on the child's comfort level. So how did she do today you ask? Well...not so good as I feared. She started crying when Mohini auntie first took her from me but quietened down soon when she started showing her around the lovely campus. That was when I slipped away. After the half hour was up, Meera brought her to me. They said she cried almost throughout...would quieten down at times, ask for me, and when she didn't see me, would cry again. Gosh I have never seen her head shake so vigorously and nodding sideways as when I took her back in my arms. She quietened down immediately...sobbing slowly but calmly. Then when she saw the 2 dogs in the house, she suddenly said "doggie" and was fine again. Then she sat in the swing, did the slides and generally played there for another hour or so. She was fine as long as mommy was there with her. Thank god atleast she didn't hate everything about the place and the day! She came back home pretty happy with herself and singing away. She even told me the auntie's names and has agreed to go back tomorrow. Let's hope she doesn't start bawling at the sight of school tomorrow (as she does when she sees we are going to the doctor's office)!

So here are the only friends she made at school today:

Her 2 friends at school - Bono and Nano (Mohini Auntie's pet dogs)

And here are the 2 great ladies who run this place Kinder Kare with so much love and care:

Mohini Auntie (N calls her Mo Auntie)

Meera Auntie