Some weekend conversations with N

We had a hectic Saturday this past weekend - spent most of it outdoors so wanted to take it easy on Sunday. I decided to clean N's toys this Sunday morning to sort out old unused stuff into items for donation, discarding and keeping and empty out a cabinet to organize her toys better. Spent a good 2 hours on that, found toys that she hadn't played with in ages and N had a blast rediscovering the joys of silly things such as plastic monster's teeth, screeching bean ball, basket ball (with its lost hoop that I put up again for her), a new swinging and pull up bar that we put up for her as well, etc. After all that fun, we crashed on the bed in the afternoon hoping that all 3 of us would enjoy a nice afternoon siesta. But she usually gets very playful when we get horizontal even if it is late at night. Infact her daily bedtime routine that she really looks forward to is a good playful wrestle with her daddy after which mommy has to wind her down with a story and what not.

So back to this Sunday afternoon...while some of her wrestling and rolling around and jumping on our backs got a little rough, I said to her:

Me: Beta...don't hurt papa so much, he will get boo.

N (sulking): I don't like No! You are not a nice mamma!

Me (quite amused at her reaction): I am not a nice mamma? Ok so what should we do?

N: No! You are not a nice mamma! I want a new mamma!

Me: Oh really? Tell your papa to get a new mamma!

N: Papa - I want a new mamma!

Papa: (just enjoying a good chukle)

Me: Okay tell me - who do you want as your mamma? B auntie or A auntie or G auntie? (naming a few of my close friends whose kids and my lil N hang out almost every day).

N: B auntie.

Me (Just amused and awed to see her clarity in preferences and thoughts): Really? Not G auntie or A auntie?

N: No - I want B auntie as my mamma.

Sigh! I guess this is what I get when I threaten her to take T as my baby when my lil N is not listening to me (T is G auntie's daughter).

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Normally when N wakes up every morning, she is just like me - cranky, not a very happy person, needs a warm beverage (milk in her case, tea in mine) to enter her system before she finally smiles and stretches and really wakes up. This morning though, she woke up and instead of wailing or crying for mommy, she stretched, was all fresh and when she saw me enter the room, she said:

N: Mamma, when I was sleeping at night, you forgot to help me wear a full pant and a full shirt.

Me (surprised): Oh...did you feel cold at night N?

N: Yes. And you forgot my jacket also.

Me: Sorry bebu.

N: Ok...when it is night again, you help me wear full pant and full shirt ok?

Me: Yes my baby.

Thinking: No wonder I saw her sit up sometime late at night, pull the blanket on top of her and go back to sleep at night. Which is very very unlike my daughter. She is normally the one who has never liked to be under a blanket at night however cold it is. I remember she used to even wiggle out of her swaddle (when she was less than a month old) that most other babies seemed to enjoy when they were infants. Note to self : She has been running a cold since Friday though. Maybe that's why.

A very good morning to you all as well...

Happy Monday everyone! And a very good morning to all.

Not sure why but I feel like I have suddenly woken up from a long slumber. Somehow, it feels like the last week kind of whizzed past by and I was too tired or sleepy or just not in the mood to notice. So much has been going on in life lately that I haven't even had the time or motivation to blog about any of it. But somehow this morning, I feel energized and refreshed again. No real rhyme or reason...maybe just maybe its coz it is the last day of my monthly visitor Aunty Flo :-)

Anyways...hope everyone had a nice Diwali break. I, for one, enjoyed two back to back long weekends at work. We had a Monday (Nov 1) and the same Friday (Nov 5) as holidays so just a 3 day week at work was a nice change. We decided to capitalize on this and booked a trip to Goa for Oct 30 - Nov 1. Left Bangalore by bus on the night of Oct 29, reached Goa the next morning and checked into the Kenilworth resort we had booked. And believe me, after that, we did really NOTHING for the next 4 days. Just relaxed, ate, enjoyed the beach and the pool to our heart's content. Bliss. Pure bliss. Really a much needed break just as a cozy family of 3 after a long long while. Vacations are a very nice time to bond emotionally and rediscover the joys of having each other and counting our blessings. I am glad we took that break.

Post that we just took it easy during Diwali. Had planned to travel again to visit my parents but were honestly too tired after the long road trip to Goa. Infact since the bus ride took too long due to bad roads, we took a one way cab from Goa back to Bangalore and cancelled our return bus tickets. That was a wiser decision and on hindsight - should have done that to and fro right from the start. Oh well...lesson learnt. So Diwali was spent by me making some besan laddus at home and generally doing rangolis, diyas and socializing with some friends - that's all. No fireworks for us since we are not crazy about them and neither is li'l N. She infact is terrified of going anywhere near them. We took her down for a walk in our apartment complex on Diwali night and she hated the noise of these bombs and ladis and cried to go back home. So we did what we usually do every year at Diwali - sat in our balcony and enjoyed the view of fireworks in the Bangalore skyline. We are lucky to have a very good view of the city from our own home so Diwali nights from our balcony are pretty nice.

Me and my hubby were talking on our way back from Goa about how he has noticed that after most of our vacations, we have some life changing events at home. Our last trip was to Sirsi, Ankola and hubby's native for li'l N's mundan and dear hubby had quit his job right after that. This time too there are some huge changes going on at my work as well as his. And we spent a good chunk of time discussing these during our drive home. So that is the other reason I have been preoccupied and away from blogging too much. To give you a summary - the company I work for is getting acquired by another MNC which means that I may not have the same job anymore. Infact, if I don't find anything else within this MNC, I may have to look outside in the next 6 months or so. And I wasn't too happy about the idea of polishing my interview shoes all over again :-( I just don't do too well with change when it is not what I have chosen generally so I was quite mad at losing the great job I had. I mean it had a very good amount of flexibility which was the only reason I could even think of working with a little child at home. And it matched my past experience and career desire perfectly. It was in many ways tailor made for me. It will be next to impossible to find another one like this in today's market. I will be forced to change my career and lose the flexibility a little which I really don't wish to at this point. Oh well...enough negativity right? Let's wait and see...and hope for the best. Like I said - this morning I am all fresh and energized full of positivity again. Hubby too got a new boss at work and there are major re-orgs happening that may not be received too well by everyone. But he too is dealing well with it and making the most out of it.

On a brighter note, I had planned to invite some upper management guests from work over for Diwali. And I have been stressing about that for weeks. But finally made it happen last night and thankfully it was a success (atleast in my mind :-)). No more nerve wrecking moments wondering what to cook and how to place everyone and what to buy etc. Whew! We did have a good time and some great discussions. Some things that were said and that stayed with me:

• On the topic of when to pursue entrepreneurship if that is what you really want to do - one thing he said was - do not give yourself artificial deadlines such as when I am x years of age I will do something of my own etc. Infact, if you have something in mind, the earlier you start, the better it is because you have lesser to lose. And the later you start, not only will your responsibilities increase in life but your lifestyle will only go up. It will never go down. So your expenses and stuff will only increase and it will be harder to maintain your lifestyle at that point.

• On the topic of buying a home and what kind, where etc. - one thing she said was - when your kids are young, your priorities are very different. What you want at that stage is not an independent villa in a far off location. Infact you want everything at your fingertips - proximity to the medical stores, doctors, super markets, shops, a good community, etc. along with security of a gated complex, amenities that the kids could use such as children's park, pool, tennis court, etc. Once they are older, one can think of building or living in your dream house far away from the city but when the kids are growing is when you really need the support system.

So all in all some eventful few weeks have gone by and hopefully this post brings me out of my so-called stressful misery and motivates me to just look at the brighter side of things. I resolve to stop taking out my stress on my loved ones at home and making them miserable as well. I will just enjoy my present and let God and nature decide what future holds for us all. Now let's just hope I stick to this resolution for atleast a week ;-)