One Year

Today marks the completion of one year of service with my current employer here in India. Today, incidentally, is also my parent's 35th wedding anniversary.

One year....seems to be such a looooong time and yet sometimes feels like it flew by. And although working in the corporate world is not new to me since that is all I have been doing the past 12+ years (ever since I graduated), this one year is much more different and unique in my mind. Coz this is the year I worked with a new personal title "working mom". And that too not in a country such as the US where most moms end up going back to work any way because they have excellent day care facilities and better work-life balance in general. But in a country like India where going back to work is much more difficult (in my mind) if you are like me who does not have a support system like parents or in-laws or an army of maids around you. Ofcourse I went back to work 3 months after my baby was born but I was in the US then and that's what everyone did. Most new moms there either found a daycare or a good nanny and didn't even consider staying at home as a viable option. Atleast not amongst the people I knew. And atleast not in the mindset I was in where career and ambition was foremost in our minds.

But things changed when we R2Ied. This was when my daughter turned exactly a year old (notice how we've been taking significant steps every one year or so?). Our move back to India kind of forced me to step back and really think....take some time out to get adjusted...help get settled...spend time with my little one and evaluate my priorities overall. And I did take almost a year to make the decision to go back to work. I remember how I was still struggling with the prospect of leaving my daughter in the hands of a maid around this time last year when this job came my way. I was not even actively looking but this very professional staffing manager was pursuing me for the current job. I remember not even entertaining his calls the first few times but finding how persistent he was piqued my interest. And I thought why not give it a shot...for this role was something close to my heart anyway. And it sounded exiting since it meant starting a whole new function in India from scratch. I was very sure I could excel in this role but equally unsure about how I would manage the child-care front here in this new city without any reliable maids as of yet or any good daycare option too. So that's how I started last year...very unsure of every step I took...constantly double guessing my decision...going on mommy guilt trips every single day for the first 5-6 months of working...hating the unreliability of maids in India or the availability of good day care centers nearby...in general really struggling to find a balance between home and work.

Until today where I can step back and marvel at how we made it through. A huuuuuuuge chunk of credit goes to my really supportive hubby who kept me going every time I faltered due to mommy guilt. And of-course also to my very very endearing, accommodating and loving little daughter who finally did understand that mommy has to go to work for her sanity and for her to be a happier person in life which in turn will help keep everyone at home happy as well :-) And I think a huge amount of credit also goes to the company I work for which is very different from many other companies in India that I have seen in terms of understanding the value of providing flexibility and good work-life-balance opportunities. I totally admire the culture they have fostered and would absolutely recommend such employers for all working moms out there.

A guest post I'd written recently...

As part of Vishy's attempt to capture various perspectives on "Returning to India".

http://ulaar.wordpress.com/2010/08/04/the-journey-from-one-home-to-another-guest-post/

You can keep going back to find more such stories by clicking on his newly launched category "R2IProfiles" on the right (or you can just go here).

Give it a read and let me know what you think...

I'm baaaaaaackk!!!

Gosh feels like I have been dug in the woods forever although it has really only been a week and a half since I have been disconnected from the entire world. I am back online now and am so glad to be able to blog again :-)

Me and my little N finally flew down from Mumbai to Bangalore to join my dear hubby on Sept. 27th 2008. It has been exactly one month today since we moved back from SFO to Apna Des. One month of living out of suitcases...one month of trying to keep N's tiny little things from getting lost...kinda tiring. But at the same time, one month of little N enjoying with her grandparents...getting lots of love and attention and fresh yummy home cooked food...one month of me taking it a little easy on baby care what with so many eager folks ready to help out. What a huge milestone month it has been with N making the transition from her life in the Bay Area to here in India. She has fallen and gotten hurt so many times here that it is not funny. Anyways, all of that is a separate post in itself.

So I flew to Bangalore and spent the weekend at my hubby's kaka's place. And then we moved to DH's service apartment. I have been so curious to see how that looks like in India but I must tell you that 2 days there and I had had more than enough of it! Anyways, then we finally move with all our bags to the final destination - our new home in India - Raheja Residency, Bangalore. Whew! Feels like the struggle is over right? WRONG! It has just begun :-)

We spent the entire last week trying to get this place operational. Would spend each moment of the day trying to figure out what to buy from where and how to cook tonight for the baby, how to save the milk without having any appliances at home, etc. In new apartments here, it is not like the US where you get the basic appliances such as a fridge, stove, oven and microwave amongst other things. And you might think what's the big deal - you can easily live without them for a few days and then buy all of that over the weekend. But with a little baby things are slightly different. You need to have a stove and a gas connection at the minimum to be able to heat her milk bottles. You need to have a fridge to store her milk and food and you need to have a microwave to reheat her food and milk (or small vessels that you can use on the stove). Without that the little one's life comes to a halt. And things don't happen as quickly here. We went and chose the stove on day 1 of our move. But they did not have it in stock and required atleast 24 hours for delivery. Same story with the fridge and microwave. The ones we liked would need another 4 days for delivery so we decided to just get the ones that were in stock and can be delivered in the next 24 hours. And to add to the craziness, the day of delivery was Oct. 2 which is a national holiday here. Our apartment complex does not allow moving on Sundays and national holidays! Grrr! Anyways, I had to plead a bunch of people to allow the delivery guy to please do what he needs so that atleast our kitchen could become functional.

In the meantime, thanks to my dear blog friend Gayathri who coincidentally happens to live in the same building as ours - we were able to have a decent meal or two and most of all keep our little N happily fed! Plus as an added bonus her little Trish and my little N found each other's company to play as well. Who could ask for more :-)

So after Oct. 2, once our kitchen got operational, then started our efforts to get the rest of the services done. Like broadband connection for example. Without going into the horrific details of how painfully long the process is and how it takes forrrrrrrever to get these things done here, all I can say is if you ever move back, make sure you have LOTS and LOTS of patience. If you expect that the technicians will show up in the block of time given to you and that things will happen once they finally show up at the door, forget it. Our Airtel technician gave us a timeslot of 3 hours and did not show up even after those 3 hours were up. After calling up and following up twice, he finally shows up at 6pm and asks for a bunch of documents and their xerox copies! With no advance notice of what is needed, they expect us to have these documents ready? In any case, he takes my originals for getting xeroxed (while I am hoping he doesn't just run away with them) and after an hour of paperwork, picks up the bag and walks out the door! I am like "What? Who is activating my DSL?" He politely smiles and says that will take another 3 days madam! No one told me that earlier!!! Do you not have the courtesy to tell me the process beforehand when I pick you for my broadband provider and schedule you for an appointment? And then 3 days later they call me at noon to say the technician should be home before 3 pm, I keep waiting putting all the other things to be done on hold in case I am not home and I miss him. He does not show up till 7pm!!! Ofcourse I followed up like crazy but there seems to be no concept of accountability or customer service. No apologies either when they show up. They continue working at our home till 9:30pm while we are wondering when can we start dinner. In any case, I am just happy that we are now wired and I am back online! Without the internet, it just feels like I am disconnected from the entire world. Oh and wait - when I call Airtel today for another issue (our parallel phone jacks in the house are not working), I discover that they have activated this connection in some software company's name instead of mine! Jeeez oh Peete! Does this ever end?

Oh well - like I said - take a deep breath and relax. All this will be behind me soon. Hopefully :-) Overall, I am happy with the new home and the new community we live in. It is a huge complex with every amenity you can ask for and lots and lots of kids to play with little N. There are nice huge shopping malls nearby and you get almost everything you are used to in the US. Life is nice once you have the basic infrastructure up and running for you. And with my Vonage line set up now, I even caught up with some of my friends in the US who I so miss chatting up with :-)

Returned to India

So the project is finally complete - executed per the plan, on time, in budget and within scope. Spoken like a true Project Manager huh? ;-)

Nyways, we finally made the move to India after living in the US for almost a decade. Here is how we had planned it and here is how things actually took shape:

• Aug 15: My last day at work. Went with a heavy heart since it meant saying goodbye to a place and to the folks I grew to really like. Not many people in this world are happy working where they work but after a few years of struggle and making it in this firm, I was at a good place there. Oh well, there was always the hope of continuing to work for them from India. So I wasn't that disheartened about that. The only thing I didn't like was that I did not get the opportunity to say my goodbyes to everyone I knew and wanted to keep in touch with. The reason? Fate I must say...coz just a day prior, I got an appointment notice from USCIS (used to be INS) to be present for my fingerprinting in a far off location from work by mid afternoon on Aug 15. What rotten luck. So that day also being my last day at work in the US, I literally had to wrap up and rush out of the office by 2pm. And to top it all, quite a few of my coworkers had arranged a really nice farewell lunch and gathered quite a crowd for me that day. So by the time we all reached and settled for lunch, it was already 1pm. And by the time we got done, it was 2pm and I was in a mad rush to pack my cube into boxes and get out asap. It was so bad that I did not even get to see my own manager before leaving. This has to be the weirdest termination of an employee - where I turned in my keys, laptop, badge and stuff to an empty chair :-) My poor manager was on the road trying to get back to work in time to see me off. But I was in a hurry for the appointment so we just said our goodbyes over the phone! Imagine that! After 3 years of working here, I had never imagined this is how my last day would be. No time to say goodbye one last time to the place that had taught me soooo much...to the place that gave me so much. I swore I will come back next week and finish what I left off but we all know how that goes. Next week came and went and the only time I could finally take out was the day we were actually flying out. I rushed in and was barely able to meet only a few of the many folks on my list.

• Aug 17: Hosted our little N's first birthday party. I wrote about that here.

• Aug 22: This is when the movers came in and whisked off all our stuff from our home in the Bay Area. We had estimated around 250 cubic feet of container space but it seemed like our luggage was limitless. I am pretty sure we ended up loading much more than that. We will find out soon. In all we ended up shipping 78 items!!!

• Aug 25: Took little N to the pediatrician for her well check exam. Got her immunized and said our goodbyes to the best pediatrician we have ever met. We will miss you Dr. Kang.
  

• Aug 26: Amongst a lot of other things such as our move out inspection, went to the temple near our home one last time.

• Aug 27: I went to the office in the morning to meet a few folks I could not meet earlier on my last day. Also to collect the laptop so that I can work from India remotely once the new offer letter comes through and I accept it. Delivered the car we sold to the buyer and finally boarded the Jet Airways flight at night.

Landed in Mumbai, India with excessive baggage and all on the morning of Aug 29th 2008 at 7am local time. Our stuff shipped via the container will probably join us by early to mid October in Bangalore.

I do need to document how much we carried on our flight home so that I can advise everyone to NEVER do this ever. We managed to check in a total of 6 items (we were allowed only 5 amongst the 2 of us and our infant). And we had like 9 carry on items and other miscellaneous things hanging around here and there like the baby's blanket, my purse and what not. You should have seen the sight - me and my hubby juggling around the baby and all these carry on items. The Jet Airline staff was very courteous with us though. They did not charge us a single penny for all of this luggage and infact helped us lug our carry on items in the flight. But we swore after this experience to NEVER EVER travel with so much stuff :-) The worst thing was that they checked in our stroller and did not give it to us in the lay over or as soon as we deplaned in Mumbai. We had to lug all of this through immigration, customs and only got the stroller at the baggage claim - completely defeated the purpose of us going through the pains of buying and carrying an umbrella stroller for the travel!

Oh well - an experience we will never forget - we can now tell our little N this is how we R2Ied :-)

Recent Bomb Blasts in India

My heart sank as soon as I read this news...and to imagine the first place I saw this was not on a news site but on a blog! This one from Chitra to be specific. And suddenly a fear gripped me - were we doing the right thing by deciding to move back to India? Is this really the best decision for our kids? Spoke to my DH and he shrugged it off saying these things can happen anywhere - you really can't predict. True but isn't the track record and probability of Bay Area, CA much lesser than the metros in India so far? To that my DH says - the probability of getting into a car crash is higher than getting caught in a bomb. Maybe so...but still...isn't this like purposely digging our own grave? I am sure I am overreacting here but after hearing such news, who doesn't!

And then the next day it is the same tragedy in Ahmedabad!!!??? They were as cruel as to plant a bomb inside a hospital in Ahmedabad! Is God trying to tell me something here? First it is the city we are planning to move to and the next day it is the city I spent 5 golden years of my college life in. Is it just a series of bad coincidences or should I really be taking a hint? My DH doesn't seem to deter from his decision to move back inspite of all this - sometimes I wish I was not as big a worrier as I currently am. I remember we used to tease my mom growing up when she used to worry like crazy for me and my brother. We used to make fun of her worrying about us for nothing and call her the President of Chintamani Association. But since I have had munchkin, I am beginning to get there myself. Life does come full circle doesn't it?

I do pray for all those injured and dead in these horrific set of events the past 2 days. And like Chitra says in her blog, I do hope the goodness of humanity rules in the end. Amen.