One Year

Today marks the completion of one year of service with my current employer here in India. Today, incidentally, is also my parent's 35th wedding anniversary.

One year....seems to be such a looooong time and yet sometimes feels like it flew by. And although working in the corporate world is not new to me since that is all I have been doing the past 12+ years (ever since I graduated), this one year is much more different and unique in my mind. Coz this is the year I worked with a new personal title "working mom". And that too not in a country such as the US where most moms end up going back to work any way because they have excellent day care facilities and better work-life balance in general. But in a country like India where going back to work is much more difficult (in my mind) if you are like me who does not have a support system like parents or in-laws or an army of maids around you. Ofcourse I went back to work 3 months after my baby was born but I was in the US then and that's what everyone did. Most new moms there either found a daycare or a good nanny and didn't even consider staying at home as a viable option. Atleast not amongst the people I knew. And atleast not in the mindset I was in where career and ambition was foremost in our minds.

But things changed when we R2Ied. This was when my daughter turned exactly a year old (notice how we've been taking significant steps every one year or so?). Our move back to India kind of forced me to step back and really think....take some time out to get adjusted...help get settled...spend time with my little one and evaluate my priorities overall. And I did take almost a year to make the decision to go back to work. I remember how I was still struggling with the prospect of leaving my daughter in the hands of a maid around this time last year when this job came my way. I was not even actively looking but this very professional staffing manager was pursuing me for the current job. I remember not even entertaining his calls the first few times but finding how persistent he was piqued my interest. And I thought why not give it a shot...for this role was something close to my heart anyway. And it sounded exiting since it meant starting a whole new function in India from scratch. I was very sure I could excel in this role but equally unsure about how I would manage the child-care front here in this new city without any reliable maids as of yet or any good daycare option too. So that's how I started last year...very unsure of every step I took...constantly double guessing my decision...going on mommy guilt trips every single day for the first 5-6 months of working...hating the unreliability of maids in India or the availability of good day care centers nearby...in general really struggling to find a balance between home and work.

Until today where I can step back and marvel at how we made it through. A huuuuuuuge chunk of credit goes to my really supportive hubby who kept me going every time I faltered due to mommy guilt. And of-course also to my very very endearing, accommodating and loving little daughter who finally did understand that mommy has to go to work for her sanity and for her to be a happier person in life which in turn will help keep everyone at home happy as well :-) And I think a huge amount of credit also goes to the company I work for which is very different from many other companies in India that I have seen in terms of understanding the value of providing flexibility and good work-life-balance opportunities. I totally admire the culture they have fostered and would absolutely recommend such employers for all working moms out there.

December = Loads of Fun!

December in our house has somehow always meant loads of fun. For this is the month when we celebrate our anniversary, my hubby's birthday, Christmas and the New Year! Soooooo many occasions to party, buy and give gifts, have cake and most of all - spend tonnes of quality time with family.

So this December as little N's school was on a 2 week Christmas break, we had planned her grandparents and bua's trip to our place during the same time. N's amma and abu (grandpa and grandma) flew over from Bombay on Dec 11 for a good 3 weeks stay. And bua joined us on Dec 22. And more than us, it was lil N who was the MOST excited! You can just say she has been having a blast ever since they arrived. Our home has been always full of relatives visiting us - both from out of town to the ones in Bangalore itself. N has not had a houseful of so many people since a year ago when it was my brother's wedding. Ofcourse she has had trips to her Nana Nani's or Dada Dadi's home but never a house full of people like we've been having these days. And frankly, I am enjoying all this for a change too. This is the part I really really like about moving back to India. Family! Nothing like it!

So here's what we've been doing over the past few weeks:

Our Anniversary

All of us went to a nearby Ganesh temple followed by a typical Andhra style dinner served on banana leaves and such. Was good fun and lil N was the most overjoyed by it - she actually ate curd and rice with her hands and made a good mess but insisted on slurping it up all by herself! Hubby gifted me some good designer jewelry from Tanishq and I put together a nice personal photo calendar for him with important dates marked so that he does not forget.

Christmas

N had a great time decorating the Christmas tree this year not just by herself but with her close friend A. Both of them had a blast putting up all the tree decorations at our place. N insisted on hanging every single item on one branch and was very upset when we finally intervened and "re-balanced" the look :-)

She then had an invitation for a Christmas party at a friend's place which she enjoyed but missed seeing Santa since mommy had to come back for a meeting and N refused to stay back with the maid. Then she spotted her first Santa this year at a department store where we went grocery shopping one weekend. Santa shook hands with her and mommy made him gift her a chocolate she loves (Kinder Joy - she calls it Egg Chocolate). The store guys even took a picture of her with Santa and gave her a complimentary copy which thrilled her to no bounds. Her second encounter with Santa was at the Christmas party in our apartment complex on Dec 24. That Santa gave her 2 Eclairs and she was so happy. Then we told her Santa will come visit her home and when she wakes up the next morning there will be a gift for her under her Xmas tree. Mommy had packed a finger painting set with a notebook and stickers for her. N loved it the next morning and spent atleast an hour painting with it. She even sat with her baby (her teddy bear) under her tree the night before explaining the funda of Santa to him for quite a while. Interestingly though after taking her pic with Santa in the store the other day she asked me on her way home "Mommy who was in the Santa suit?" I was a little heart broken that she kinda suspected Santa was not real. So I debated with myself for a bit but decided to tell her the truth anyway - so I said it was an uncle. She asked why was he wearing Santa suit so I said because uncle knows that children love Santa that's why.

Hubby's Birthday

Poor hubby's birthday was the most hilariously disastrous event this month. Started with him wanting to go to a certain restaurant for lunch. By the time all 6 of us finished with our breakfast, bathing and getting ready routine, it was already 1pm. Then when we were just about to step out, the plumber whom we had called early in the morning finally decided to show up for some repair work in our kitchen. That took another 30 mins and left our tummies growling. So we called ahead to make sure we have a table ready and finally reached the place in a huge hurry. But the person who was showing us to our table there had a major attitude issue and was really rude in general. We hated the table he had reserved for us and he did not even apologize or ask us to wait for another one. All he said was "We hate this table too but since you called ahead, we kept it open for you!!!" Imagine that! So we said "You can keep the table for yourself!" and walked out of that place. Next we drove to another outlet of the same restaurant which was around 20 mins away. Given our luck, they had absolutely no tables available there for another hour and so we were again stuck wondering where to go. Debated a few places on the way and finally went to one that used to have a good buffet. Reached, took our seats all hungry and tired only to find out that they have stopped serving the buffet recently!!! Ugh! We gave up and finally shoved some food into our faces and got out of there. Picked up some dessert on the way and reached home saying thank god the disastrous lunch is over :-)

All day though N was the most excited member in the house telling everyone she met that it was her papa's happy birthday today. And she went on to add that her amma and abu and bua have come from Bombay!!! She kept singing "Happy Birthday to Papa" all day and also kept asking us to start celebrating papa's birthday (which meant she wanted the cake cutting ceremony to to be held right away). She was the most thrilled when papa finally cut the cake in the evening and gave her a huge helping of plum cake with vanilla ice cream.

A Day at the Park

On Dec 29, us and a few of our friends decided to take the kids to Cubbon park in the city. Me and hubby had already taken this last week in Dec as vacation time from work to ensure maximum quality time with the family was spent. And we had planned a trip to Waynad that never actually happened due to a booking goof-up by the travel website. That's how we were home and planning day trips to places like Cubbon Park. So this park in Bangalore is known for its 'Bal Bhavan' which has many areas for the kids to play in, an aquarium and the main attraction being a train ride. Turns out my lil N has never ever sat in a train before. So obviously she was overjoyed at the thought of sitting in a train and even after it was done, she kept asking all afternoon why the train did not take her again. The kids (N, her friends A and A) had a blast! They visited the aquarium, admired all the fish, had a joy ride in the train and then played to their heart's content in 3 different parks. By the time we got home late afternoon, we were dead tired and hit the bed instantly.

New Year's Eve

Thankfully since the time we moved to India, we have never had to plan our New Year's Eve or any other festival for that matter. Our huge apartment complex and the wonderful cultural society in it hosts very good celebrations for most of these occasions. And the best part - parents like us with little kids do not have to travel to or from the event and can run back home if the child is tired or cranky or go back and forth whenever we feel like it. So this New Year's too we took tickets to the "Midnight Masquerade" bash being organized at our complex's tennis court. And apart from the food that was mostly over by the time we hit the counters, I really REALLY enjoyed the dancing this year. Last year it rained and it being an outdoor party, the dance floor and food stalls were all empty due to the rains. Some brave ones like us took umbrellas and ventured out again and danced on wet floors and even though it stopped raining in half an hour, the fun had halted. This year, thankfully it wasn't even cold and it didn't rain. And most of all, my lil N was overjoyed at songs like "Sheila ki jawani" and other latest hits. I guess it was because that she could actually identify many songs this year and wanted to dance to most of them was what made it wonderful for me. I actually had a dance partner this year and one who was more overjoyed and enthusiastic about dancing than I was. Believe me - she was the one pulling me to dance and I was worn out but she just kept going and going! Knock on wood. She did not even want to stop for dinner so I let her go on from around 8 to 10pm. After which she ate just a little bit and was too tired to do anything else after that. She did stay up though until around 12:30am and then slept on couch while all 6 of us snuggled in front of the TV. A nice, good, enjoyable and cozy New Year's Eve was had. Thank god for that.

And here's wishing you all a very happy and healthy New Year as well. I know December is the season for being merry...so do tell me how did you all enjoy the passing of last year. Any fun vacations or events to talk about?

A guest post I'd written recently...

As part of Vishy's attempt to capture various perspectives on "Returning to India".

http://ulaar.wordpress.com/2010/08/04/the-journey-from-one-home-to-another-guest-post/

You can keep going back to find more such stories by clicking on his newly launched category "R2IProfiles" on the right (or you can just go here).

Give it a read and let me know what you think...

Kids can be soooo understanding

Ever since I posted my last entry on this blog ranting about how difficult it was to get N settled with her new nanny, things have actually taken a turn to be much much better. Touchwood! Touchwood! Touchwood (please do not jinx me or N on this ever!). I have realized that once again my child has taught me to be patient and not expect miracles in a day. Yet at the same time, she has made me realize that they can be very mature, understanding and responsible if that is what life demands out of them. I needed her to co-operate, to stop making mommy feel so bad accepting a full time job (even though it is for mommy's sake right now) and to please let someone else take mommy's place for a few hours every day while I go out and satisfy the other side of me as a person - the side other than loving being a mom...the side that wants to satisfy the itch of having a great career knowing that staying at home and spending great quality time with my little one, although has been a lot of fun, I will never be able to forgive myself if I do not atleast try doing other things I want to do in life as well. So after I realized that maybe N was missing having mommy all to herself and was a little angry at pushing her towards the nanny a little bit now and then, I backed off and gave her all the love and mommy time she wanted for a week. Plus she had her aabu (grandpa) visiting that week too so she loved all the time and attention from him as well. She happily trotted to school every morning with him and even came back home with him. While all these months she has never gone to school with anyone else but mommy. So after the one week of a reset and providing her all the mommy time she needs and having the nanny around at home as well, she probably felt secure enough to venture towards her and start playing happily with her. I could hear squeals of delight when the nanny entertained her in her silly games and used to thank god for those moments of happiness seeing them bonding together.

Then one night a few days before N's grandpa was leaving, I had a heart-to-heart conversation with her. BTW nights are the best times to have a good talk to her...she is actually listening and most times she also tells me a lot about her day at school and other things at night when I am putting her to sleep. So here's bits and pieces of how our conversation went that night:

Me: N, when papa goes to office, do you cry?

N: No.

Me: So when mommy goes to office, will you cry?

N: No. I will not cry when mommy goes to office.

N: And I will not cry when aabu goes to Bombay. (this part surprised me and my hubby as we never expected her to even realize that her grandpa is not here for good and that he is only visiting. This sentence came totallly unprompted as we had not even planned his return travel yet...but she just knew he'd leave some day to go back to his home in Bombay!)

Me: (Hugging and kissing her tightly) Good girl N. I will come back from office and play with you. Will you please come home from school with D auntie (her nanny) and eat mum mum (lunch) with her?

N: Yes.

And volla! Since then, she has actually done as she promised. The day after her grandpa left, I walked her to school and while saying goodbye, told her that mommy will go to office and would she not cry and go home with D auntie and eat mum mum (lunch) and do ta ta (sleep)? She nodded her yes. And with a heavy heart I left home around the time she was supposed to come home and stayed outdoors for 3 hours. When I got back I found her playing with the nanny. She saw me enter, squealed with delight, jumped on me and made me fall, hugged me so tight and said "Mommy you came back from office? I did not cry"!!! Now how can this not make me melt down to the floor!!!??? So I spent the rest of my day all in love with the wonderfully co-operative child. And followed the same 'going to office' routine the rest of the week. The second day I found her sleeping when I got home. The third day I found her actually done with the nap and actually starting to drink her evening milk with the nanny. And each time she greeted me with such joy that it just made my heart melt even more. But I secretly thanked god for one good step ahead each day and realized that my child just needed reassurance that mommy wasn't going away leaving her with the nanny. Thank god for miracles like these. It is just the moments when she hugs me tight and says things like "Thank you for coming back from office" that make me re-think if I am really doing the right thing...

Oh well...I guess I wouldn't know until I actually try it out once. I will give it my best shot and then decide if this really is for me anymore or are my days of having an actual career (not just a job) are over for a long long while now.

Moving On to the New Year

Just a random post to pour out all that I have been feeling lately...

• Ever since I got back home to Bangalore after a month long trip from my brother's wedding, things seem quite changed with most of my friends in town. Seems like everyone has moved on to pursue things in life that they always wanted to. Its all for their good ofcourse but it just seems like so much has hapenned in the one month I was away. One of my friends & neighbor bought a new home (which ofcourse means she will be moving away soon), two of my friends got pregnant with a second one (and sadly both of them lost the babies too), one of them got out and got a job (which means she is less available during the day) and another one is looking to pursue some kind of an educational course to get back to work. This gave me lots of inspiration and the push I needed to get out in the job market myself. Just seems like all of us who have been at home during the transitional period to settle down in Bangalore have now decided to move on.
• So I started 2010 with a resolution that this is the year I will take the next big step in my life - either have a second kid or buy a home for ourselves or get back to my career that I gave up almost a year ago (since we moved back from the US). So that is my resolution - to move on to the next step in life and get all the support structure needed around me to support this move.
• Hence I am currently in the market for a full time cook cum nanny for my kiddo. Just like I had in the US. And I tell you it is hard...very hard to find someone you can trust your child and your home to. I am trying out different maids almost every other day. I am also evaluating day-cares as another option but am a little hesitant sending little N to one at this stage. Knowing her, we as parents believe she will be most comfortable at her own home. I really hope and pray I find someone as trustworthy as I had in the US. How I wish I could call that nanny over to India and have her live with us! If you don't know who I am talking about, see here and here.
• My plan is to settle little N down with either a nanny or a day-care and get back to work in the next month or so. Any tips or ideas anyone? How have you stepped out of home with a little one around? I mean I had gone back to work right after she turned 3 months but that was in the US and that too once I found a nanny I could trust. I think it is easier to trust someone there than in India coz of the laws and traceability system there. The quality of maids I am finding here is not comparable to what I had there and the Montessori schools I like do not have on-campus day-cares here. So what did you mommies who moved back to India do? What if I get a job I really like but it requires some travel? And worse - what if they require travel abroad (even if it is once or twice a year)? What do you guys do then?

How much more desi and domesticated can I get

Let me say first of all that I don't intend to offend anyone who can relate to this post or dresses up like this...but I thought what hapenned the other day was pretty funny. And I just had to blog about it so that I can come back to this post and laugh when I needed a funny moment.

So there I was getting ready to run a long overdue errand (go to the passport office to renew my recently expired passport). And while I was finally out the door and walking towards my car, a funny thought crossed my mind. I thought "Look at me - all dressed in a jeans with a long desi kurti (the ones you can pair with a salwar), wearing an open toed V-shape slip-ons in my feet, carrying a purse with a long shoulder strap (the kinds whose looks I hate but only carry it now coz it is convenient with a toddler to carry most times along with) and finally - carrying all the necessary documents in a plastic carry bag (instead of a manila folder or my nice red shoulder-cum-laptop bag like I would have normally done just a year ago while in the US). I mean really how much more desi and domesticated could I get???!!!"

And then to top it all, when I went to school after that to pick up little N, one of the other moms there asked me why was I all dressed up today? Really I thought? I mean this was as dressed down as I could be...the most casual look that goes on around here in India. So are you trying to tell me that on other days I am dressed up worse than this? LOL :-)

Nyways, the whole point is that just a year ago, before I was a stay-at-home-mom living in India, I was a person who would never be caught on the streets dressed down in this manner. My definition of dressed down used to be a pair of track pants and an old t-shirt with sneakers or some other form of closed toe comfortable shoes. Thats probably coz my wardrobe consisted mainly of formal wear that I wore to work in the US (pants, tops, sweaters, etc.) or really old clothes I wore at home. None of the in-between ethnic kurtis and stuff. And I was one of those who, for some strange reason, used to frown upon people toting plastic bags to carry documents and such and wearing V-shaped flip-flops that make your feet all dirty in the dust and mud in the streets here. I guess now that you know this part of me, you've finally realized the humor in this story huh :-) Its funny how these stupid dressing notions were so deeply imbibed in my mind that this thought crossed my mind without me even realizing it. Now all that was remaining was a bindi on my appearance and I would fully qualify as one of the manibens from Gujarat ;-)

In all positiveness though, what I wore that day was quite comfortable in the weather conditions here. No wonder this 'look' is so popular amongst women in India. So moral of the story - sometimes you just gotta believe in jaisa des, waisa bhes and give it a try yourself huh.

Motherhood opens your eyes to so much more

I had quit my job in mid April since my 6 months of working offshore had come to a close. After this I had the entire month of May free before my little one started her first school ever in June. It had been 9 months since we moved to India and I had only seen my parents right after we arrived. So I packed us (mother and daughter) off to visit both sets of grandparents to spend some much deserved quality time with them. I had wanted hubby dear to come along too but that didn't quite work out what with his work and stuff.

So May was when I had the travel bug. Decided to make a trip to Pune and kill 2 birds with one stone - finish my business and spend a few days with my brother while I was there. I did exactly this, then flew back to Bangalore, picked up my baby and flew to Bombay the following weekend. Spent a week there with my in-laws and then went off to Vapi to my parents. Spent another week there, came back to Bombay for a couple days and then back home to Bangalore. All in all a wonderful trip was had and lots of memories were made. But what urged me to write this post today was this feeling I had topmost in my heart during the entire stay this time with our families. I suddenly felt closer to my parents than I have ever felt in years. I now understood why in all these years when I was in the US, I was treated like a guest every time we came home for a 3 week break. Ofcourse we were guests who were so detached from the day to day ongoings of our own parents...who would call them just once a week and talk about the health and weather and visit them just once a year for a coupla weeks and call it a day. Really? Is that all you get from your own children once you are done raising them all these years...staying up at nights for them...praying...worrying...thinking...breathing...practially living for them all these years? I think now that I am a mother I suddenly realize what our own parents have gone through to bring us up as the good human beings we now are. Now I understand what they mean by saying - it is much easier to give birth to a child than to raise him/her in life.

I guess my husband always knew why he was moving back to our country and he might just read this post and say - duh! But honestly, it took me a while to really get it. I mean, yes we were all moving back to be physically closer to our families and stuff but even during all that, I never thought I would have this feeling in my heart after being away from home for soooo long. I mean I guess once you are in a situation for this long, you kinda start getting used to the setup and start looking at the positive side of things - such as you have a better standard of living in the US, your independence is a huge factor that you gain as a woman, your work life balance is far better than in India. True. But the intimacy we think we still maintain with our loved ones back home by making 2 or3 calls a week, is, in my opinion, just a fantasy in our own mind.

So this time when I was leaving my parents place for coming back to my own home, I suddenly felt glad about moving back to India. I did not have tears in my eyes during the goodbyes for the first time in ages...and I somehow felt like now I am their daughter once again (instead of the once in a year visiting guest). And most of all, I felt I could do so much more for them now that I am here instead of just buying them clothes or gadgets from the US every time we visited. Those are really such superficial joys that they don't even care for anymore. What brings a twinkle in their eye now is the precious bond they now share with their granddaughter...the love she showers on them unconditionally...the joy she brings in their life by just being around. That is a gift that is truely priceless. Oh this can soooo be a Mastercard commercial:

A nice formal shirt for dad from JCPenney - 80$

A pearl necklace for mom from Macys - 200$

A new laptop for dear bro from CircuitCity - 1500$

The joy in their eyes on seeing their little granddaughter/neice - PRICELESS!

You know you've lived long enough in the US when...

You know you've lived looooong enough in the US when you move back to India and...

• Try plugging in appliances and wonder why they don't start. And then you realize you haven't "switched on" the plug point! (Gosh - I have done this soooo many times with my phone charger only to find 2-3 hours later that the phone is still dead!!! Grrrrrr)
  
• While driving, you turn into a new street with no traffic and suddenly panic wondering what side of the street are you supposed to be driving on - left or right? There is no one to follow so you are left clueless as to where to drive and so accidentally drive on the right side of the road!
  
• While driving, you constantly keep hitting on the wipers while trying to actually hit the side indicators on.
• When talking to the receptionist at the medical facility, you mention "you owe me change for 100 Dollars" instead of saying "100 Rupees" (yes - this really happened with me and for some reason cracked up the entire staff out there. Gosh I have even done this with the sabzi wala!)
  
• You feel awkward eating your own breakfast or lunch while your maid or cook is busy working in front of your eyes at your home (I still cannot see myself eat without offering them something nice as well).
• When you take your baby for well check exams, they tell you the weight in kilos and you are dying to go home and calculate exactly how many pounds is it and how she shows up on the US growth curve (even though the docs assure you that you should be using the Asian babies growth curve).
• You are dying to get a good haircut but miss your salon and stylist there :(
• Your fingers automatically dial "1+Phone Number" to call an out of state friend instead of dialing the "City Area Code + Phone Number"
  
• You go shopping at supermarkets and take the vegetables at the cashiers counter only to realize you needed to stand in queue at another counter near the vegetables section to get them weighed and bagged.
• MOST OF ALL - what REALLY gets me is you have to really tax your brains and think hard before buying anything coz it is not easy to return or exchange the items once bought in stores here - not in the next 30 days and not even in the next 30 hours :-)

I go through so many more such incidents on a daily basis...so I am sure I will keep coming back to this post and updating it with more. How about you guys...do you go through such gotchas in your early days of moving back to apna des? Any fun ones to share?

Happy New Year!

Happy 2009! Adios 2008!

What a year it has been - 2008. My inlaws and then my parents visited us in California early 2008. And then just a few months later, we made a huge decision of our lives - to make the move back to India after over a decade in the US. We celebrated our little one's first birthday in Aug 2008 and then moved back to India in the same month (actually just 2 days after she turned one!). Just 3 months later, we made our first road trip in India with little N all by ourselves - just as we were used to in the US. Hopped on in the car and drove off to the hills of Coorg. Celebrated Christmas and dear hubby's bday there and then got back home to Bangalore for New Years.

You know what I won't forget about 2007 ever? The fact that I became a mom for the first time in that year. And our cozy marriage of 2 now turned into a cheerful family of 3.

And you know, what I won't forget about 2008 ever? Not just the fact that I gave in to the idea of moving back to India (which I always just kept hearing about from my hubby and kept shrugging it off as if it is a distant dream). But also the horrific events that unfolded soon after our move - the horrible Mumbai terror attack in Nov 2008. I think that entire episode changed something in me forever. The passive patriot in me that was sleeping somewhere suddenly woke up and all of a sudden, I felt we made the right decision to move back and do something for our own country and IN our own country for once.

Sigh! I do hope and pray that 2009 brings cheer and joy to all. My resolution this year is to do whatever I can to make my country a place that is safe enough for my child to be raised in.

Our Container Finally Arrived But...

We are sooo unhappy about the entire shipping to India experience. We had two options - Sky2C carriers and Universal Relocations. My hubby reached out to both but when Sky2C did not respond for a while and Universal did, he decided one is as good as the other since both had good reviews in the R2I forums. So we went with Universal. BIG MISTAKE as we now learnt :( Why you ask? Well there's a huge laundry list why. First of all my hubby now tells me that once they had all our stuff loaded with them, they started hitting us with all sorts of new additional charges. And worse than that, the had the audacity to refuse to ship our stuff if we did not pay. Did we really have a choice then? That was our first hint of their "chor giri". So after a few nasty email exchanges, my hubby decided to do a smart thing. Pay them but pay using an Amex credit card instead of the bank transfer they were pushing us for. He decided to bear the additional 2% charge they imposed on us for using a credit card just so that we can contest with Amex in case we had issues with them later on. Good thinking I say coz that is exactly what happened when our stuff arrived a little over 2 months later.

After being told for a week that our truck should arrive from Chennai to Bangalore tomorrow, the truck finally arrives on the morning of Sat, Nov 8. We excitedly start unpacking right away only to learn that so much of our stuff has been damaged in transit. And if the glass stuff that broke was the stuff we packed such as Corningware bake and serve or Mikasa jug, I can understand. But it was also stuff they packed such as our dresser mirror and our leather couches. Our dressor mirror was entirely gone - broken in pieces and we have a decent size leather damage on one of the couches.

But wait - the worst is yet to come. Our moooooost expensive and the moooooooost important and irreplaceable item is gone! LOST! Chhoooo mantar! Not arrived! Our oh so cozy, plush, huge king size mattress with an oh so plush mattress cover. Poof! Just did not show up. Also our home music system/ipod player. Gone as well! What did they have to say abt that? We will try to locate it in the warehouse and get back to you in half an hour. That half an hour turned to 2 days and forget about calling us, we have called them atleast 10 times but they are just not picking up the phone. What does this make us feel? Ofcourse we suspect that they have robbed us and are intentionally not getting in touch anymore. On top of all this, those idiots (pardon my language) had the nerve to call us during the delivery and say that there will be an extra delivery charge since we live on the 7th floor! SERIOUSLY!!!????

We finally have filed for a chargeback for the entire shipping amount with American Express and have decided we are not going to bother calling and fighting with these thieves anymore. Let them deal with Amex who will first withdraw the money we paid them and then tell them to prove why they shouldn't. So take that Universal!

Did any of you R2Ied folks have to face anything similar? Would love to hear your experience and how you dealt with it.

Learning so much so quickly

It is amazing how fast these little cuties grow and how quickly they grasp things around them. In just a year, she has started comprehending everything around her and even though little N can't speak yet, she is able to understand, respond, communicate and imitate everything around her. It just amazes me so much that I had to document every little thing she has picked up before I forget it all :)

Aug 23, 2008 - This was the weekend I spent with my undergrad hostelite buddies who flew down from various parts of the US to have a mini reunion one last time before I moved to India. And oh what a weekend that was. We were 5 girls and all of us new mommies. So obviously there was soooo much to share, so much to learn and so much to talk about. In all this, the two of them (S and D) decided to teach my little N how to 'high five' and 'low five'. That was probably the first thing she ever learnt from someone consciously teaching her (so far all the rest was self discivery such as waving 'tata' and mumbling a few other words). By the end of that weekend, she was an expert at high and low fiving anyone who asked for it.

Sept 27, 2008 - N just turned 13 months 2 days ago and today was the day when she and I flew down from Mumbai to Bangalore to join my hubby. Her milestone: playing peekaboo with mommy for the first time. And my milestone: surviving an entire journey alone with the kiddo...quite an experience I must say. I flew via Jet Airways. I must say they did not fuss at all at my excessively overweight bag and 3 handbags (yes...again!) but the assistance the crew provided to a single mommy travelling with an infant left a lot to desire. Atleast in Mumbai where they made me not only drag my bags, the little one and the stroller to every single security check possible but made me even drink water from her bottle and sippy cup! I wouldn't have minded this if I was not already struggling with all the bags and the kiddo clinging to me having fallen badly a day ago and walking around with swollen, purple injured lips :( Finally it was a nice lady travelling on the same flight who came and offered to help! God bless her soul. Once I was onboard though, the inflight crew was a pleasant relief. They not only played with the little one all the time but even assisted me all the way to the gate until I met my hubby. Anyways, this was about N's milestones and I started ranting about my own :)

So while we were at DH's cousin's place that day, little N walked into the kitchen to explore the place. Suddenly I called out to her saying "where is Nikki....Nikki khai asaa" to look for her. And she comes running with her tiny feet and peeks out the kitchen door to smile at me. This was the first time ever she did this and I realized she wants a game of peekaboo. She was not going in to pick up the stuff in the kitchen (like she normally does), infact she would just stand next to the wall with her back against it to hide from mommy and show her smiling face every time I called out for her. She did this atleast 5 times that day and since then has started enjoying this little game of peekaboo with us.


Oct 7, 2008 - N ate or drank very little that day which tired and worried mommy until she saw that N was cutting her premolar teeth :-) That explained it all and was a pleasant relief!

Oct 7, 2008 - This was also the first time ever when I saw her enacting Twinkle Twinkle by herself! This has to be the cutest thing I ever saw her do. The thing is that she has been listening to this rhyme from us ever since she was born and may be a few months ago or so I must have shown her how to enact twinkle twinkle by opening and closing my fists. So she probably has memories from that time and it triggered when I recently introduced her to http://www.hello-world.com to show her nursery rhymes. Thanks to my friend S in the US who told me about it and to my friend G who reminded me about it...now whenever I sit to browse on my laptop, little N comes to me and insists that I pick her up and starts enacting Twinkle Twinkle with her tiny little hands. I love it when she does this and can't resist a huge hug and kiss and pulling her on my lap to show her all the rhymes to her hearts desire. Her smile watching hello-world is priceless :-)

Sept & Oct 2008 - During these last two months in India, she has learnt to respond to questions such as 'Nikku khai assa (where is Nikku)', 'Nikkula haath khai assa (where are Nikku's hands)', 'Nikkula head khai assa (where is Nikku's head)', Nikku's nose khai assa (where is Nikku's nose)', 'Mamma khai assa (where is mommy)', 'Pappa khai assa (where is papa)'...you get the idea. It all started with her dadi teaching her where is Nikku. And she learnt to point at herself in such a cute manner - basically takes both her hands and beats on her tiny little chest proudly with a smile to show that here is Nikku :-) Then her dadi was trying to teach her where her hands were but before she got it, I had to fly out to Bangalore. So here I took it upon myself to continue that education and it is quickly working. Amazing how quickly they grasp these things.

Oct 8, 2008 - Saw little N hugging to things she didn't want to let go such as our car keys. This was really her first. She has never had a 'lovey' as such that she is attached to but these days if we give her something - just anything like keys or a belt or a towel, she plays with it and after a while I see her walking around hugging it close to her. I think she is ready for a soft toy or a security blanket or some lovey that she can use to soothe herself to sleep etc. I am sooo waiting for our container to arrive from the US which has all her soft toys in it.

Oct 2008 - Lately I have started leaving her diaper free for prolonged parts of the day to start the process of pee pee training a little early. It started off to help her with her rashes but has taken a good turn since then. With my mom's suggestion, I took her to the bathroom and made the 'sssss' noise to indicate her to pee. And surprisingly it worked! So now I do the same when she gets up from a nap or first thing in the morning etc. Sometimes though, when she is diaper less and she has a susu accident around the house, she starts making the 'sssss' noise herself. If I am not around, she comes to find me and tells me 'ssss' to basically let me know that she has peed somewhere in the house. And when she sees me cleaning it with a cloth, she has even started imitating that. Basically she pulls down whatever cloth she sees and mops the floor with her foot - just like how mommy does! Funny na.

Oct 10, 2008 - Finally after all the struggle of getting her switched to milk from formula, she has now made the transition to regular milk. Thank god! I was beginning to worry about her being allergic to milk or something. Now she has the Nandini milk we get at home which is 3% fat. After a month or two of this, I plan to switch to a higher fat content.

Anyways, among all these things she has learnt, what she just refuses to learn is to hold her milk bottle herself. Most babies are doing this at her age but our little princess wants to play with my hair while I hold the bottle for her. Every single time I have tried to put her hands around the bottle, she stops drinking and gets cranky and irritated and just stops her feeding session. Or she pours milk out of the bottle all over herself or the bed and plays with the spilled milk. That coz she imitates me pouring a little on the back of my hand to check for temperature. Anyone have any suggestions on how to teach her to hold her bottle? I do want to wean her to a sippy cup soon but just holding her bottle should be a good start for now.

I'm baaaaaaackk!!!

Gosh feels like I have been dug in the woods forever although it has really only been a week and a half since I have been disconnected from the entire world. I am back online now and am so glad to be able to blog again :-)

Me and my little N finally flew down from Mumbai to Bangalore to join my dear hubby on Sept. 27th 2008. It has been exactly one month today since we moved back from SFO to Apna Des. One month of living out of suitcases...one month of trying to keep N's tiny little things from getting lost...kinda tiring. But at the same time, one month of little N enjoying with her grandparents...getting lots of love and attention and fresh yummy home cooked food...one month of me taking it a little easy on baby care what with so many eager folks ready to help out. What a huge milestone month it has been with N making the transition from her life in the Bay Area to here in India. She has fallen and gotten hurt so many times here that it is not funny. Anyways, all of that is a separate post in itself.

So I flew to Bangalore and spent the weekend at my hubby's kaka's place. And then we moved to DH's service apartment. I have been so curious to see how that looks like in India but I must tell you that 2 days there and I had had more than enough of it! Anyways, then we finally move with all our bags to the final destination - our new home in India - Raheja Residency, Bangalore. Whew! Feels like the struggle is over right? WRONG! It has just begun :-)

We spent the entire last week trying to get this place operational. Would spend each moment of the day trying to figure out what to buy from where and how to cook tonight for the baby, how to save the milk without having any appliances at home, etc. In new apartments here, it is not like the US where you get the basic appliances such as a fridge, stove, oven and microwave amongst other things. And you might think what's the big deal - you can easily live without them for a few days and then buy all of that over the weekend. But with a little baby things are slightly different. You need to have a stove and a gas connection at the minimum to be able to heat her milk bottles. You need to have a fridge to store her milk and food and you need to have a microwave to reheat her food and milk (or small vessels that you can use on the stove). Without that the little one's life comes to a halt. And things don't happen as quickly here. We went and chose the stove on day 1 of our move. But they did not have it in stock and required atleast 24 hours for delivery. Same story with the fridge and microwave. The ones we liked would need another 4 days for delivery so we decided to just get the ones that were in stock and can be delivered in the next 24 hours. And to add to the craziness, the day of delivery was Oct. 2 which is a national holiday here. Our apartment complex does not allow moving on Sundays and national holidays! Grrr! Anyways, I had to plead a bunch of people to allow the delivery guy to please do what he needs so that atleast our kitchen could become functional.

In the meantime, thanks to my dear blog friend Gayathri who coincidentally happens to live in the same building as ours - we were able to have a decent meal or two and most of all keep our little N happily fed! Plus as an added bonus her little Trish and my little N found each other's company to play as well. Who could ask for more :-)

So after Oct. 2, once our kitchen got operational, then started our efforts to get the rest of the services done. Like broadband connection for example. Without going into the horrific details of how painfully long the process is and how it takes forrrrrrrever to get these things done here, all I can say is if you ever move back, make sure you have LOTS and LOTS of patience. If you expect that the technicians will show up in the block of time given to you and that things will happen once they finally show up at the door, forget it. Our Airtel technician gave us a timeslot of 3 hours and did not show up even after those 3 hours were up. After calling up and following up twice, he finally shows up at 6pm and asks for a bunch of documents and their xerox copies! With no advance notice of what is needed, they expect us to have these documents ready? In any case, he takes my originals for getting xeroxed (while I am hoping he doesn't just run away with them) and after an hour of paperwork, picks up the bag and walks out the door! I am like "What? Who is activating my DSL?" He politely smiles and says that will take another 3 days madam! No one told me that earlier!!! Do you not have the courtesy to tell me the process beforehand when I pick you for my broadband provider and schedule you for an appointment? And then 3 days later they call me at noon to say the technician should be home before 3 pm, I keep waiting putting all the other things to be done on hold in case I am not home and I miss him. He does not show up till 7pm!!! Ofcourse I followed up like crazy but there seems to be no concept of accountability or customer service. No apologies either when they show up. They continue working at our home till 9:30pm while we are wondering when can we start dinner. In any case, I am just happy that we are now wired and I am back online! Without the internet, it just feels like I am disconnected from the entire world. Oh and wait - when I call Airtel today for another issue (our parallel phone jacks in the house are not working), I discover that they have activated this connection in some software company's name instead of mine! Jeeez oh Peete! Does this ever end?

Oh well - like I said - take a deep breath and relax. All this will be behind me soon. Hopefully :-) Overall, I am happy with the new home and the new community we live in. It is a huge complex with every amenity you can ask for and lots and lots of kids to play with little N. There are nice huge shopping malls nearby and you get almost everything you are used to in the US. Life is nice once you have the basic infrastructure up and running for you. And with my Vonage line set up now, I even caught up with some of my friends in the US who I so miss chatting up with :-)

A new lifestyle for the munchkin

When I started writing this post (9/9/08), it had been 10 days since we had moved to India after living in the US for almost 10 years (a year longer for my hubby). So I figured this is a good time to capture all that our little N is going through what with a new place, new environment, new people and a new life she is now adopting. I have seen sooooo many changes in our little munchkin in so little time that it just doesn't stop amazing me.

Temperament
Her first few days at her dada dadi's home was full of separation and stranger anxiety. Although she has been with them when she was younger, she took atleast 4 days to warm up to them completely. And then suddenly by day 5, she was all about them :-) She would happily run to whoever called out to her (dada, dadi or bua) and each of them have their unique cute ways to lure her to them and capture her attention. Oh also it seems like out of nowhere she has suddenly developed a way of showing stubbornness about whatever she wants. Already? She has just turned 1 and I feel she was such a baby before we brought her here to India :-) I read somewhere that babies do develop a tendency to show tantrums at this age but this just feels so sudden. Me and my hubby keep saying she has changed to a stubborn brat overnight :-)

Newfound love of Birds & Animals
She has started really clinging to me and my hubby a lot since the day we returned. I think part of it is stranger anxiety since suddenly she is surrounded by so many people. But part of it is also separation anxiety that comes naturally at this age. So the trick I have told her grandparents to adopt is take her quickly in their arms and run outdoors or to a balcony or window and show her outside. Her grandpa came up with a trick saying "Caw Caw" to basically whisk her away from me and show her the crow that visits us every day. She now loves being with her grandpa and watch the crow come and eat food at the kitchen and living room windowsill. That is aabu's (her grandpa's) favorite activity with her.

After 7 days when I brought her to her nana nani's place, she found more sparrows here than crows. So since then she also understands "Chi Chi" and points to sparrows every time we ask her "Where is Chi Chi". It is amazing that she can spot and point at crows and sparrows and also pigeons at such a distance that sometimes we also don't notice that they are there. When left alone with them, she seems to talk to them in a language of her own. Quite amazing to watch her mesmerized by these new beings since she never had such close encounters with them in the US. She is also fascinated with the cows and dogs around here. BTW here too she would cling to me a lot and it took her almost 4-5 days before she warmed up to be with nana/nani alone.

Sleep
It took her almost a whole week to get over the jet lag after arriving here. For that first week, she would take long naps during the day, refuse to eat as much but substitute that with more milk and would go off to bed at 6pm most days! Then she would sleep until atleast 4am the next morning after which she would be all fresh for the new day. That meant that even if we tried to sleep in to fight the jet lag, our little sweetheart would make sure that doesn't happen ;-) So my jetlag only passed when the little one was out of it herself. After a week or so, she was better but would still nap longer in the day as compared to what she did in the US and would go to be earlier (around 8 pm). Obviously I wasn't complaining as that meant that I had more time for other things while she was snoozing away :-)

Diet
So on one hand her sleep improved but her appetite definitely worsened. She was always a light eater but atleast she had solids thrice a day in the US. Here she reduced it to twice a day and I let it go initially coz she was adjusting to the time zone change and stuff. But after that phase passed, she still does not eat as much as she used to. Her meal times are the times I miss our nanny the most. She must have had such amazing patience to feed my little picky monster :-)

Other than that, I introduced her to cow's milk on Sept. 3 (first day of the Ganpati season). And oh my god what an ordeal that was. Me and my little N had to go through so much that I think I should write it for all of you who are or will be going to this phase soon. So first of all, I made the mistake of following the US pediatrician's instructions to the T and going and searching for the most fatty tetra pack milk I could find in India so that it is close to the Whole Fat version in the US. I couldn't find anything that said Whole Fat so I bought Amul Gold Standardized Milk which had close to 7.5% fat. Gave that to her and she took it fine at first, fussed a little later and then took it if I was persistent. But the worst mistake I made was that unknowingly I did not go slow. I had no idea that is how you are supposed to do it. No one including my pediatrician had informed me that cow's milk is harder for babies to digest and can upset their tummies. I always thought it is about the taste and that is why some parents mix it with formula to give it to their babies initially. So when N took it fine, I thought she is ok with the taste and can make the switch now. BIG MISTAKE. Poor baby started pooping everytime she had a bottle of milk and so she started going atleast 4 times a day. So once I came to my parents, they informed me that Amul Gold is not cow's but buffalo's milk which is typically thicker and tougher for people to digest. Wow - imagine that! And nowhere it mentions anything such as that on the packet. Isn't that just wrong? So on their advise, I switched her to what we got at home (Amul Taaza 3.5% fat). They suggested if her system can digest this, then I can graduate to higher fat content. Made sense. But I think the mistake was already made by then coz who knows if it is was coz of the milk or the extra poops but she developed a bad diaper rash in a few days. At that point I stopped milk completely and took her back to formula. And then when I asked around to see what I was doing wrong, I was told that I should have given her just a little milk to start with and gradually increased the quantity to allow her system to digest cow's milk! Imagine that! No one tells you these things man - its almost like you are supposed to know these things being a mom. Ridiculous isn't it? Poor N had to go through so much coz of all this.

Anyways, I brought her to only 2 ounces of milk in a 6 ounce bottle of formula once a day (in mid afternoon). But after a few days it still didn't change her poop frequency so I took her to a local pediatrician. And he goes, 4 times a day is normal. You should only worry when it is 10 times a day and is loose! And that's that. I was amazed at the nonchalance they show here for babies. No advise on what to do and what not to do. Just wrote up a prescription for the rash and a medicine for the diarrhea (if any) and that's it. I had to dig it out from him to figure out how to switch her to cow's milk successfully. He then suggested Lactogen. Start with its stage 1 and then move to stage 2 and then milk. He even suggested diluting the milk initially (3:1 - 3 parts boiled milk, 1 part boiled water). He also said to keep with Amul Taaza 3.5% and not move to whole fat right away.

So I ask you experienced mommies out there, what should I do next? I think I will keep her with the 2 ounces milk she is getting once a day but I worry every time she poops (she still goes 4 times a day now). I don't think I want to stop milk completely for a week or so coz I don't have infinite Enfamil formula with me. And I don't think I want to start go with the option of Lactogen 1 and 2 and drag this thing forever. The doc towards the end said - you can just stick to doing what you are doing without going to Lactogen as well. Seems like he couldn't make up his own mind. Didn't help me a single bit going to ask for his advise. The only thing I learnt is the brand Lactogen is pediatrician recommended.

Her food intake has also reduced at the same time. She used to eat well thrice a day in the US. Now she just refuses to open her mouth when she does not want to eat - whatever I do. Any tips or words of advise? The doc said he could prescribe a tonic to increase her appetite but would not recommend it for her yet. And I agree - I want to stay away from medications for these things.

Her Likes and Dislikes
She loves playing with both sets of grandparents now and absolutely loves running around. She has also started climbing and coming down of stairs and loves doing that all the time. We take her to a garden here in my parent's town and she just has a sudden burst of energy and runs there non stop! It is good exercise for me too coz I have to keep running after her to make sure herself.

She has also started enjoying her baths now! Thank God for that. I am glad that her bath anxiety seems to have passed. I think the humidity in the air also contributes to her love of bathing. Atleast for me it does :-) I am always soooo hot and sweaty here (especially in Mumbai) that it is not funny. I am not sure how I never felt this way in my earlier visits to India.

Anyways, I could keep going on and on about all the things that are new for me and her. But this post is getting way to long and I am afraid that my questions about switching her to cow's milk may get lost and go unanswered by you readers. So please please send me your tips/advise on both - switching to cow's milk and also weaning her to sippy cup from the bottle.

Returned to India

So the project is finally complete - executed per the plan, on time, in budget and within scope. Spoken like a true Project Manager huh? ;-)

Nyways, we finally made the move to India after living in the US for almost a decade. Here is how we had planned it and here is how things actually took shape:

• Aug 15: My last day at work. Went with a heavy heart since it meant saying goodbye to a place and to the folks I grew to really like. Not many people in this world are happy working where they work but after a few years of struggle and making it in this firm, I was at a good place there. Oh well, there was always the hope of continuing to work for them from India. So I wasn't that disheartened about that. The only thing I didn't like was that I did not get the opportunity to say my goodbyes to everyone I knew and wanted to keep in touch with. The reason? Fate I must say...coz just a day prior, I got an appointment notice from USCIS (used to be INS) to be present for my fingerprinting in a far off location from work by mid afternoon on Aug 15. What rotten luck. So that day also being my last day at work in the US, I literally had to wrap up and rush out of the office by 2pm. And to top it all, quite a few of my coworkers had arranged a really nice farewell lunch and gathered quite a crowd for me that day. So by the time we all reached and settled for lunch, it was already 1pm. And by the time we got done, it was 2pm and I was in a mad rush to pack my cube into boxes and get out asap. It was so bad that I did not even get to see my own manager before leaving. This has to be the weirdest termination of an employee - where I turned in my keys, laptop, badge and stuff to an empty chair :-) My poor manager was on the road trying to get back to work in time to see me off. But I was in a hurry for the appointment so we just said our goodbyes over the phone! Imagine that! After 3 years of working here, I had never imagined this is how my last day would be. No time to say goodbye one last time to the place that had taught me soooo much...to the place that gave me so much. I swore I will come back next week and finish what I left off but we all know how that goes. Next week came and went and the only time I could finally take out was the day we were actually flying out. I rushed in and was barely able to meet only a few of the many folks on my list.

• Aug 17: Hosted our little N's first birthday party. I wrote about that here.

• Aug 22: This is when the movers came in and whisked off all our stuff from our home in the Bay Area. We had estimated around 250 cubic feet of container space but it seemed like our luggage was limitless. I am pretty sure we ended up loading much more than that. We will find out soon. In all we ended up shipping 78 items!!!

• Aug 25: Took little N to the pediatrician for her well check exam. Got her immunized and said our goodbyes to the best pediatrician we have ever met. We will miss you Dr. Kang.
  

• Aug 26: Amongst a lot of other things such as our move out inspection, went to the temple near our home one last time.

• Aug 27: I went to the office in the morning to meet a few folks I could not meet earlier on my last day. Also to collect the laptop so that I can work from India remotely once the new offer letter comes through and I accept it. Delivered the car we sold to the buyer and finally boarded the Jet Airways flight at night.

Landed in Mumbai, India with excessive baggage and all on the morning of Aug 29th 2008 at 7am local time. Our stuff shipped via the container will probably join us by early to mid October in Bangalore.

I do need to document how much we carried on our flight home so that I can advise everyone to NEVER do this ever. We managed to check in a total of 6 items (we were allowed only 5 amongst the 2 of us and our infant). And we had like 9 carry on items and other miscellaneous things hanging around here and there like the baby's blanket, my purse and what not. You should have seen the sight - me and my hubby juggling around the baby and all these carry on items. The Jet Airline staff was very courteous with us though. They did not charge us a single penny for all of this luggage and infact helped us lug our carry on items in the flight. But we swore after this experience to NEVER EVER travel with so much stuff :-) The worst thing was that they checked in our stroller and did not give it to us in the lay over or as soon as we deplaned in Mumbai. We had to lug all of this through immigration, customs and only got the stroller at the baggage claim - completely defeated the purpose of us going through the pains of buying and carrying an umbrella stroller for the travel!

Oh well - an experience we will never forget - we can now tell our little N this is how we R2Ied :-)

Swades

Ye jo des hai tera, swades hai tera, tujhe hai pukaara
Ye woh bandhan hai jo kabhi toot nahin sakta

Tujhse zindagi, hai ye keh rahi
Sab toh paa liya, ab hai kya kami
Yun toh saare sukh hai barse
Par door tu hai apne gharse
Aa laut chal tu ab diwaane
Jahaan koyi toh tujhe apna maane
Awaaz de tujhe bulaane, wahi des
Ye jo des hai tera, swades hai tera, tujhe hai pukaara
Ye woh bandhan hai jo kabhi toot nahin sakta

Sounds quite romantic and filmi but somehow, since the day we have returned to India for good, I have this song stuck in my head. Wierd isn't it? Coz part of me still does not believe that I have closed shop and moved lock stock and barrel from US to India for good. And part of me knows that there is no running away from the truth and maybe it is my heart trying to tell my brain that we have made the best decision for ourselves and our families...maybe it is me trying to see the emotional side of things rather than the materialistic side. Who knows why this song bug - all I know is that this is it and there is no going back. We are not on a vacation here in India...we are here for better or for worse...we are here for each other...not just via a phone call but physically here.

And maybe that is why unlike all the other times when I used to visit India, I am in no hurry at all to call all my cousins or friends who live here and catch up with them. Coz its not like I have limited vacation days...now I am here for good. So there is plenty of time for me to call and catch up. Its quite a mixed set of emotions really...like I said, part of me does not believe that we have actually made it happen. And the other part of me knows that it is done and that is why I am in no hurry to reach out and call everyone I know here coz I know that will unfold in its own sweet time. For now, I just want to live in this surreal world that we are in...mentally and physically in all homes...the one I left behind, the ones I am living in and the one we will create for ourselves.

R2I Plan - Crazy Busy!!!

I just thought since this is a crazy crazy crazy phase of my life - both at home and at work, I must record it somehow so that one day when all of this is behind us, I can reflect and marvel at how we made the R2I thing happen.

Not to say that we didn't know this was going to happen eventually. But when things pick up momentum, it all happens so fast that you don't even realize when time flew by. You suddenly DO NOT have the luxury of planning or envisioning how you'd make the move finally happen.

So here's a brief glimpse of how crazy our days look like currently. Our goal is to wrap up everything and fly out from San Francisco to Mumbai on Aug 27 2008!

• July 6 - July 15: DH flies out to India finalizing the new job
• July 16: Countdown begins. We need to finalize our move so that he can join in Bangalore by early Sept.
  
• July 23: I inform my manager at work about the impending move and its implications to my current job. Go in with a heavy heart and an intention of discussing a last date, transition plan etc. But get pleasantly surprised on hearing that they want me to continue with them even if it is remote - atleast for the first 6-9 months! Wow!
• July 30: Have informed the key folks at work about this change in my role and the fact that we are working on a short term engagement plan so that I can still continue in this capacity from Bangalore.
• Aug 7: My boss arranges for a farewell lunch in my honor for our entire team. The lunch was something I will never forget - not coz I had such good company but mainly coz I had to undergo the humiliation of getting a driving ticket while driving with 2 co-workers and my boss on our way to lunch :( Thankfully they were really sympathetic since it was a very lame violation (overlooked a forced right sign - well I had 3 other folks in the car who didn't see it as well!).
  
• Aug 8: I was told that working for my company on a US or Indian salary structure might not work after all since it is a short term assignment and not a long term role. So we need to start looking at the contingent worker arrangement.
  
• Aug 15: My last physical day at work.
  
• Aug 17: Celebrating our little one's first birthday (a little earlier than her actual bday). So organizing a huge party, inviting every near and dear one we know and killing two birds at a time - farewell and bday bash for little N.
  
• Aug 21: Our shipping container folks come in and take away all the stuff we need to ship to India.
• Aug 22: My under-grad friends from hostel days in India flying down from various parts of the US to spend the weekend with me. I am so touched by this gesture of theirs...sigh...I'm gonna miss them.
• Aug 25: Little N's actual first birthday! Earlier plans were to take her to the temple but now we need to take her for her well check exam so that she can get her immunizations! Ouch!
• Aug 27: Chalo India!!! We fly out this evening to Mumbai. A lot of mixed emotions...primarily nostalgic and sad about leaving behind our memories we built here in the last 10 years.
  

See? Like one of my friends said - you have left no room at all for a change of mind :-) Hmmm...now is that how my hubby planned it for me on purpose? ;-) Will have to go poke him abt this...

So here's hoping everything falls in place and go per plan...and the transition to India is smooth for us and our little N. BTW we are maintaining a checklist of things to do before and after R2I. Look for it in one of my future posts.